Joke Contest

[Ragemage]

What has four legs and one arm?






























A Pitbull at a children's playground.

[Maxmillian]

Highbrow yes, mispelled yes, Pollack no, Pollock yes....joke was funny, mispelling, funnier.

[AlphandOmega]

And so it begins... Oh, I'm afraid that you and your Rebel friends will have quite a surprise. Now witness the Power, of this FULLY OPERATIONAL battle station. Let the hate flow through you. MuWEHhehhaHAHAhaha.

[Naash]

An art museum curator is eagerly awaiting the arrival of a world renowned art collector, and is experiencing a bad bout of cramping in his stomach after some bad curry. With a disturbed look, a gurgle, and an air biscuit he decides he should use the restroom. He barely makes it to the toilet and has the most earth shattering and violent diarrhea all over the toilet. As he is cleaning up, he hears the art collector outside in the museum calling for the immediate attention of the curator. The curator, time against him, unable to clean up the bathroom hurriedly goes out and greets the collector with the humblest of apologies in not being there to greet him initially. The tour of the museum goes on and the collector is snubbing all of the art work with his nose in the air, finally saying "None of this will do, you have nothing here that is original or impressive....you have the worst art collection I have ever seen."

The curator, now seething inside because of insults to his museum, with an evil grin says..."Oh I almost forgot, this way to the Jackson Pollack exhibit."


P.S. It does help to know who Jackson Pollack is....but it is an original, albeit somewhat highbrow.

In my neck of the woods we call that a rooster tail,you'll smoke the bearin's in the paper dispenser with one of those bubba.

[KingOfCheese]

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Booger

Booger who?

Booger Fart

[Naash]

A husband and wife are sitting in bed watching monday night football,feeling gassy the husband decides to play a little game with the wife.
Rocking up on one hip he lets loose a blat,the wife gives him the eye and says "what was that all about?".
The husband laughs, "bedsheet football and the score is 7 to nothing".
"Oh" says the wife who lifts up a cheek and lets loose a squeaker "7 to 7,now its tied."
Not to be undone the husband strains to get out a good one and is rewarded with a gigantic fart with a gurgle at the finish and a growing wetness under his butt.
"What the he11 was that!?" the wife asked.

"Halftime" the husband replies "now we switch sides"

[AlphandOmega]

Hey honey.... with your nose all runy. You may think it's funny, but it's snot.

It gets better!

Beans, beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat, the more you toot. The more you toot, the better you feel. So eat beans at every meal!

[Sidious]

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Booger

Booger who?

Booger Fart

This may be the funniest joke that I have ever heard... I am going to over use t to death, but I will give you credit for telling it to me. LMAO

[AlphandOmega]

This gets my vote.

What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?

FTW!

















Kids won't eat broccoli.

[mickey2toes]

just an old poem;

Nag, nag,
you filthy scag
you greasy, grimy $lut.
between your thighs,
green fungus lies,
and maggots crawl up your butt.

Before I climb those scaly legs
and eat those infested t1ts,
I'd rather eat a bowl of buzzard puke
and die of runny sh1ts.