Let me ask my Guild Leader -- In Game Advice, Boast Debunking and DDO Info.

[gorloch]

Dear Clays guild leader,

Do you get lonely if no one asks you any questions for a couple of days?


PIXA

[Rayzorlew]

Dear Clays guild leader,
Do you get lonely if no one asks you any questions for a couple of days?

PIXA

I do Pixa, I really do.....
...and sometimes I have my own questions too, and who do I ask?

Like:
While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA.
No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed. Is this wrong?

~Or~

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun."
Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

~or~
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

~or~

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

~or~

Is it just me or do high school girls get ****tier & ****tier every year?

~or~

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, would their offspring just be completely invisible?

~or~

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!)
...but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.
What'd they do after I didn't answer?
Drop the phone and run away?

~or~

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

~or~

Shouldn't it be called Unplanned Parenthood?

~or~

Why is it that even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey
- but I'd bet my a$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

~or~

When your son asks "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?"
How the hell do I respond to that?

~and lastely~

I wonder if cops ever get ****ed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

Pixa I need answer too!

[Keiran]

Like:
While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA.
No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed. Is this wrong?

No it isn't wrong...they do in fact get executed.

~Or~
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun."
Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

Sometimes, people need to be stupid, and say stupid things...I would suggest you simply tell them very respectfully that they are an idiot, and then hit them with the largest nearby object you can easily heft with one hand.

~or~
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

You aren't. When it gets dirty, just burn it and buy a new one...the money you save in tylenol makes up for the cost of sheets.

~or~
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

Three times, no more than that or you have to admit you are aging and none of us should be forced into such a situation.

~or~
Is it just me or do high school girls get ****tier & ****tier every year?

It's just you...the stars are all in your head.

~or~
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, would their offspring just be completely invisible?

Holy hell this may be the best question I've ever heard...you win life.

~or~
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!)
...but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.
What'd they do after I didn't answer?
Drop the phone and run away?

I can't speak entirely for the human race, but I know that I myself follow this procedure: If I call you, and you let it go to voicemail...you obviously don't want to talk to me. "My phone was on silent", "I was already playing one-handed and couldn't grab the phone", "It didn't even ring" and other such excuses are just that, excuses. Therefore if, after realizing how badly you hurt my delicate sensibilities, you have a change of heart and decide you'd like to talk...I like to offer a nice "go to hell" in return for your own transgressions.

It seems only fair.

~or~
Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

Because at 20, you're going slow enough that it's actually sporting to maneuver correctly to hit the crossing guards. It's all about the sportmanship.

~or~
Shouldn't it be called Unplanned Parenthood?

The name was copyrighted by Miley Cyrus as the name for her next album, and subsequent tell-all documentary.

~or~
Why is it that even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey
- but I'd bet my a$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

Easy: the snooze button is always in the same place...it's not rocket surgery. Location, location, location.

~or~
When your son asks "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?"
How the hell do I respond to that?

Tell him that your car would die, followed by your family.

~and lastely~
I wonder if cops ever get ****ed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

A better question would be: Since cops speed everywhere they drive, why DON'T they pull over everyone they drive behind? If they haven't passed the person, they are obviously speeding as well and should be punished.

[gorloch]

I do Pixa, I really do.....
...and sometimes I have my own questions too, and who do I ask?

Like:
While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA.
No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed. Is this wrong?

No. In fact I think they should show the executions. TV ratings would go up.

~Or~

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun."
Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

I don't understand this either. One could probably have fun without being fun but being drunk lets one do a whole lot more and have something to blame for it in the morning.

~or~
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

You don't. Just wad it into a ball and throw it into your linen closet.

~or~

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

You should jsut walk away the moment your mind lost track of the conversation. The other person would get the hint that you're just not interested in any more.

~or~

Is it just me or do high school girls get ****tier & ****tier every year?

I don't know. I prefer my girls to be legal.

~or~

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, would their offspring just be completely invisible?

Also known as Casper or the Notme ghost.

~or~

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!)
...but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.
What'd they do after I didn't answer?
Drop the phone and run away?

Yes Womp they ran away.

~or~

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

It is a mass conspiracy. We all know they don't up the speed limit cause the slower you go the less kids you can hit so the points you score are much lower.

~or~

Shouldn't it be called Unplanned Parenthood?

Have to think on this one.

~or~

Why is it that even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey
- but I'd bet my a$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

It goes back to Casper and the Notme ghost...

~or~

When your son asks "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?"
How the hell do I respond to that?


Ask him if he put the car in reverse and run over him again cause those guys can be sneaky sunzabeeches.

~and lastely~

I wonder if cops ever get ****ed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

Yes they do. Have you ever been behind one that went the speed limit without a bunch of others going slow in front of them?

Pixa I need answer too!

I hope this helped some.


PIXA

[Tin_Dragon]

Dear Guild Leader,

what can we do with players with a "certain line of thought"?

I dont care how good of a player you are, if your melee and hit for 25-30dps/second vs harry its going to cost the cleric resources. In bad groups its wipe nomatter how good player you are, cause skill is no factor for end-game raiding.
Your class of choice can be a huge factor thou.
If you dont have rescources dont try: Ranger, fighter, barbarian, tank(all of these are great til lvl10!)
somewhat less mediocre is: Bard, rogues
good/exellent choices: Cleric, Paladin, Wizard, Sorcerer

Any cures for this?

[Keiran]

Dear Clay's Guild Leader,

Where did all of the guilds go 0.0


...somebody had to ask, since Turbine won't tell us.

[Linnifred]

Dear Guild Leader,

If there are no guilds for you to lead, do you still exist?

[Pwesiela]

Dear Guild Leader,

If there are no guilds for you to lead, do you still exist?

On a related note, for those of us with guildnames in our sigs, do we cease to exist? Am I even asking this question? If a tree falls on a mime in the forest, does the mime make a sound?

[Rayzorlew]

Dear Guild Leader,
what can we do with players with a "certain line of thought"?

cause skill is no factor for end-game raiding.

Any cures for this?

There is only one-way to explain this…..he is in denial. Everyone in this game can make the same toons, but you still have good players and pylons. Why?....Skills.
The person who said the above statement, probably also says:
Size doesn’t matter. (as he looks down)
I’m not fat, I’m husky. (as he looks in the mirror)
She’s a lesbian! (as he gets shot down by another woman)

My advice:
Ignore the Ignorant!

Dear Clay's Guild Leader,

Where did all of the guilds go 0.0
...somebody had to ask, since Turbine won't tell us.

Dear Guild Leader,
If there are no guilds for you to lead, do you still exist?

Maybe there is still a guild, but only one….and maybe its name is Thelanis…and maybe I am the GUILDLEADER TO ALL!!!
MWAHAHAHAHA MWAHAHAHAHA mwahahahaha!!!

On a related note, for those of us with guild names in our sigs, do we cease to exist? Am I even asking this question? If a tree falls on a mime in the forest, does the mime make a sound?

Hello? Is someone there?.....I though I heard something, nevermind.

[Clay]

Maybe there is still a guild, but only one….and maybe its name is Thelanis…and maybe I am the GUILDLEADER TO ALL!!!
MWAHAHAHAHA MWAHAHAHAHA mwahahahaha!!!

YOU LIE!


To whom it may concern...

I am now my guild leader being the current guild leader of Legion. I am also the guild leader of Pestilence (till Rev finally pony's up the dough), Inferus Sus, Mindlflayers, Infamous Flaming Vagabonds, Brotherhood of Blood, Storm Lords. Thank you The Madborn for the PP and the +1 Tomes Kraak... they will be useful when handing out Guild Member of the Month rewards.

Please direct all questions for Clay's (Former) Guild Leader to me. Thank you, that is all.

Screen shot or it didn't happen:

[Xithos]

Dear Guild Leader,

What is Clay compensating for?

P.S. I need you to give me the funniest answer possible (I really need that Masterwork sword). This should be an easy one for you (I know how hard you work solving everyone's problems and responding to queries for information) because I believe you are intimately familiar with the things Clay might find funny.

[Gelandor]

…and maybe I am the GUILDLEADER TO ALL!!!
MWAHAHAHAHA MWAHAHAHAHA mwahahahaha!!!

Sweet, does this mean I can be in Legion?

[Memnir]

Dear Newly Anointed Guild Leader,


The left-over fortune cookie from diner last night won't stop laughing! I can hear it in the fridge - just giggling and belly-laughing. Each time I open the fridge, it quiets down to a barely restrained chuckle... but then when I close the door, the uproarious laughing begins again.



Are the foods in my refrigerator making fun of me behind my back, or is it time to think about upping the meds again? Because either way, I'm starting to get a little freaked out here...



.
.
.

[Kraak]

I'd guess that you need to up your meds, and the cookie is making fun of you.

[Rayzorlew]

Dear Guild Leader,

What is Clay compensating for?

P.S. I need you to give me the funniest answer possible (I really need that Masterwork sword). This should be an easy one for you (I know how hard you work solving everyone's problems and responding to queries for information) because I believe you are intimately familiar with the things Clay might find funny.

Easy....He's compensating for the fact that his "hot Asian wife" really loves me!!!

[Rayzorlew]

Sweet, does this mean I can be in Legion?

**You have successfully kicked Gelandor from Thelanis**

[Gelandor]

**You have successfully kicked Gelandor from Thelanis**

Ouch...

[Clay]

Easy....He's compensating for the fact that his "hot Asian wife" really loves me!!!

Delusion is such a wonderful thing!

[Shamguard]

Screen shot or it didn't happen:

SERVER CRASH!!!???


...

[Clay]

The Fortune Cookie was laughing Memnir, because the pork dish you ate was actually made from the neighborhood cats... They all suddenly fell over dead in a mysterious mass death, were gathered up and made into Mu Shu Pork at your local Chinese eatery.

Investigators are researching whether there is any link between this unexplained event and the recent events on Thelanis causing widespread Legion Blaming, a known cause of Unexplained Kitten Death.