Now I'll admit now, I play in a Tactics guild. We're all friends and PnP together. That being said.
Voice Chat.
buy a Mic, seriously. then tell your party what your doing. as soon as the trap Icon comes up Say TRAP! Tell people your looking, Tell people your disarming, and most important!!!! Tell them when you are successful! Too many times people have run threw traps thinking their disarmed while I'm still looking for the thing.
Traps/Locks
this is the rogues bread and butter. these should always be maxed out. there are places (one of the shadow dungeons) where disarming all the traps gives you another 3K+ xp. even the disarming bonus of +% is worth it, the 30 seconds it takes to disarm saves HP.
Stabbing.
Don't be first in combat. let the DPS grab the Agro. Then start stabbing. With a good party you should pick a fighter and stick in his shadow, then you can juggle Agro between you.
Stabbing 2.0
Kill the casters. kill them. kill them all the time. they should be your first targets. you should have a ridiculous reflex save, which means you can survive the lightning bolts, fireballs, etc... if your build is good you should drop them in just a couple of hits.
Stabbing 3.0
Protect your casters. the tanks are crunching melee and with high jump/tumble you can pop back and SA anything that's agroed on casters. your cleric will love you.
Stabbing 4.0
ok, ranged is nerfed and will 'prolly be for a while... however any ranged attack you make in 30' of the target is a SA. so stand behind the shield wall and fire away. (you will want something with precise shot on it if you don't have the feat)
Stealthing.
ok, I'm not so good with this, there's some good guides already that talk about creature activity, how they spot check, things like that. Practice it on low level dungeons that you can already solo, the trick is to NOT kill everything.
personally, I only really use it for checking around corners.
Keep your "eyes" down to one, and when you see your own red feet, stop. it means something is trying to hear you.
Don't stealth spiders and slimes, they have tremor sense.
Stealthy Stabbing
yes undead are immune to SA, almost all of them have the crappiest spots ever. every attack from stealth means the mob has no idea where you are. your not getting SA but your getting free hits. that and following a confused mummy trying to figure out where you are is funny.
Spot/Search/Listen
Search is your important one, followed by spot, followed by listen. people might say Listen is useless, If your looking around a corner having the extra check to see anything hidden is worth it. (and weirdly, you can actually hear bats before they spawn, look up and you'll hear the bats red foot prints.)
Things you will need.
Id highly suggest taking the Mechanic path till around 9 to 12th level. then when you swap out, you have access to gear that can replace the bonuses.
buy all the subtle backstabbing ever. less agro means more SA.
UMD!!!!
The easiest way to work it out is look at the UMD for wands. once you can UMD level 1 wands you are a pocket caster. might not seam like much but look at the utility wands. jump/water breathing/tumble/healing...
heck the lowest permanent cure wand from the catacombs is low UMD and has saved my life and the lives of my party members more times than i can count.
Dragon Mark of Shadow.
mostly for the displacement, and you can cast it on others. 40% miss chance keeps the tanks fighting.
Shadow walk is AWESOME but restricted... however picking up soul stones doesn't dispell it. If your fast on it you can turn a wipe to a heroic save everyone dash to the shrine rescue mission.
something with Spell Resesitance.
Get the highest you can, the extra protection against those horrible non reflex save spells is more than useful.
well, there's what i can think of...