How would you have handled this?

[Griphon]

So I am an officer and a leader in my guild on Sarlona.. Sacred Flame Guardians. We've been around for years, right? We've never been -that- big.. We've never been that small. A mix of hard core players and casual gamers. A group of cool people who enjoy playing with each other and are here for the fun of the game..

I'm asked to handle a complaint by one of my guild by a non-guildie. No problem. Comes with the turf, right? Guildie sums up the issue as: Non-guildie was not communicating. Didn't use voice. Didn't use text. Guildie ends up kicking the person out of the group because of this before the quest began.

I log in my officer and send a few tells the individual which, I'll cut and paste below.. Removing the name to protect everybody but myself. I've replaced character names with 'Guildie' and 'Non-guildie'

(Tell): You tell NONGUILDIE, '*knocks* Hey. Somebody said you'd wanted to speak to an officer in SFG, GUIDLIE's guild?'

(Tell): NONGUILDIE tells you, 'already sent a notice out'

(Tell): You tell NONGUILDIE, 'S'alright. So I'm correct in understand you don't want to speak to a guild leader of his then? *yawn* If not, I'm going to go do some a lot more constructive. '

(Tell): You tell NONGUILDIE, 'Or maybe just going back to bed.. Cuz this typing is by the looks of things too difficult for me to handle'

(Tell): NONGUILDIE tells you, 'your only going to do the predictable, but thats why im bypassing you anyways.. ur guild sucks a** from what I just saw, it will not be missed I guess'

My reply that was missed by the individual because promptly logged out afterward follows:

(Tell): You tell Non-Guildie, 'M'kay. Please enjoy your time at DDO. I refuse to lower myself to the whining level and approach you seem to want to take.'

(You'll just have to take my word on it that it was my actual response, I guess.)

So.. How would you have handled this situation? First off... Let me say that I'm fully behind my guildie in the removing of the guy who doesn't respond when he was addressed by voice or text. Communication is key to DDO. Besides.. It was his party. He had the star and formed the group.

So how would you have handled the Whining player who seems to think he/she can try to the rep of a long standing guild? Or even the fact that he thinks that one word from somebody is enough to basically cause a guild so much grief that it'll eventually have to collapse? (My understanding of his 'will not be missed' comment.)

Or is just not me in thinking that SOMEBODY needs to have a brief check in with reality?

[Visty]

from what i got: /squelch add

[SpanishBlueEyes]

I personally think you handle the affair as mature and responsible as possible. I think going to the guy personally and trying to address the issue is what a guild leader should do. It shows alot of respect you have for the name of your guild. Now mind you, you don't HAVE to do that but it shows you care what the underlying issue was and you wanted to resolve it in the best way possible. My guild on Thelanis is very simular to yours as far as you described, and we rarely have an issue come up but it has happened time to time, and i know my guild leaders would have done the same as you.

[Griphon]

So many people to squelch.. So little time! LOL

[Minor_Threat]

I would have ignored the complaint all together. who cares, people will be people.

[Dozen_Black_Roses]

I think you did fine, you gave him a chance to air his beef with an officer, he chose not to. You also didnt inappropriately respond to his attempt at an insult. Some people just get their panties in a bunch, ohskwell! I wouldnt squelch the person unless they started to harass you. Hopefully you won't hear from the person again. And if you do, refer him to this post, and tell him to take one of these, he clearly needs it if he continues to not let up at this point over something so silly as being dropped from a group/raid before it even began.

[Kalari]

Griph you know our server has some cool peeps and some a$$hats congrats your guildie dealt with not only a big a$$hat but one who thinks hes so important he can dismantle guilds with his whim.. or better yet maybe hes predicting the future

Holy **** man your guildy ****ed off Miss Cleo!

Oh wait she wasnt a real psychic either. Either way dont let the idiots get to you that one was someone more to laugh at then to even think about. And you handled it better then me ive kicked plenty of people out of my groups for stupid things and will do so if im leading grouping is about getting things done with little headaches as possible and it sounds like this guy was a big arse headache.

[Xionanx]

Reasons I have kicked people out of party:

Outright lieing to me Example: When asked if you have done this quest before you respond yes. Followed less then a minute later with, where is this quest I cant find it? = KICK

Refusal to follow clear and repeated orders Example: When told by multiple people in the party to NOT flip a particular switch in both voice chat and text chat. Then choosing to flip that switch anyway = KICK + Squelch

Refusal to acknowledge chat or inability to communicate in a coherent manner Example: Clicking join on a LFM, being accepted to the party, and then asking "Where quest?" in text chat. After being told in voice chat response is "No hear". After having an explanation of quest location typed out the response is "lets do X other quest".. = KICK + Squelch

I dont know.. maybe I'm mean? Regardless I expect very little from the people I party with.
DONT LIE to me about your game knowledge.
FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS
UNDERSTAND BASIC ENGLISH

Needless to say from what you describe I would have had no problem kicking that person from my group either. As a guild leader/officer I would have pretty much done what you did, though I tend to be less confrontational and more fact+on point in my communications in game.

I would have sent the following tell:
"I am an officer of X guild and I was informed you wanted to speak to an officer of X guild. What can I do for you?"

I would have then waited for him to explain what he wanted, or in this case he would have responded like he did and I would have not sent any tells back.

[BigNastyMP]

I have a prescription for both of the medications suggested in this thread and then some. They work wonders. [redeyes]

Depending on my mood I may have ignored him, invited him to a party to have someone else berate him, /squelched him, spoke spanish to him, put up an LFM making fun of him, put his name in the MotD for others to mess with him, sent a /guildrecruit so I could /boot him or just smoked some more and let it ride. However, I don't usually recommend doing what I do.

If you are looking for validation that your response was appropriate, well...
/hands Griphon some validation.

[Lithic]

In the future, please make sure threads asking for validation about ingame behavior include some INTERESTING behavior or tells. Drama is best, mangled english can work, but you need something more than the non-event as written above. Feel free to exagerate, or plain make stuff up, just as long as we forum trolls don't fall asleep reading it.

Regards,

[Grinndal]

I have a prescription for both of the medications suggested in this thread and then some. They work wonders. [redeyes]

Depending on my mood I may have ignored him, invited him to a party to have someone else berate him, /squelched him, spoke spanish to him, put up an LFM making fun of him, put his name in the MotD for others to mess with him, sent a /guildrecruit so I could /boot him or just smoked some more and let it ride. However, I don't usually recommend doing what I do.

If you are looking for validation that your response was appropriate, well...
/hands Griphon some validation.

Agreed. I am not as nice as your guildie. The best part is when the whole group recalls and reforms and then he trys to get back in the group.

[Dragonhyde]

You handled it much better than I did in a similar situation earlier this week. Logged in and immediate tells from from someone complaining about a guildie not giving up some piece of loot....the tells started out with all their alts being listed and them saying they were a big deal on the server. I didn't help matters by replying and you are??? and asking him to repeat his characters a few times before stating that I have no reason to take care of the person because it was not even bound loot that was being looted.

[Kalanth]

The ****** population is increasing on Sarlona as the deadline for Mod 9 approaches. I think you handled it well, and that non-guildie was upset about nothing to be honest.

[Shaamis]

So I am an officer and a leader in my guild on Sarlona.. Sacred Flame Guardians. We've been around for years, right? We've never been -that- big.. We've never been that small. A mix of hard core players and casual gamers. A group of cool people who enjoy playing with each other and are here for the fun of the game..

I'm asked to handle a complaint by one of my guild by a non-guildie. No problem. Comes with the turf, right? Guildie sums up the issue as: Non-guildie was not communicating. Didn't use voice. Didn't use text. Guildie ends up kicking the person out of the group because of this before the quest began.

I log in my officer and send a few tells the individual which, I'll cut and paste below.. Removing the name to protect everybody but myself. I've replaced character names with 'Guildie' and 'Non-guildie'

(Tell): You tell NONGUILDIE, '*knocks* Hey. Somebody said you'd wanted to speak to an officer in SFG, GUIDLIE's guild?'

(Tell): NONGUILDIE tells you, 'already sent a notice out'

(Tell): You tell NONGUILDIE, 'S'alright. So I'm correct in understand you don't want to speak to a guild leader of his then? *yawn* If not, I'm going to go do some a lot more constructive. '

(Tell): You tell NONGUILDIE, 'Or maybe just going back to bed.. Cuz this typing is by the looks of things too difficult for me to handle'

(Tell): NONGUILDIE tells you, 'your only going to do the predictable, but thats why im bypassing you anyways.. ur guild sucks a** from what I just saw, it will not be missed I guess'

My reply that was missed by the individual because promptly logged out afterward follows:

(Tell): You tell Non-Guildie, 'M'kay. Please enjoy your time at DDO. I refuse to lower myself to the whining level and approach you seem to want to take.'

(You'll just have to take my word on it that it was my actual response, I guess.)

So.. How would you have handled this situation? First off... Let me say that I'm fully behind my guildie in the removing of the guy who doesn't respond when he was addressed by voice or text. Communication is key to DDO. Besides.. It was his party. He had the star and formed the group.

So how would you have handled the Whining player who seems to think he/she can try to the rep of a long standing guild? Or even the fact that he thinks that one word from somebody is enough to basically cause a guild so much grief that it'll eventually have to collapse? (My understanding of his 'will not be missed' comment.)

Or is just not me in thinking that SOMEBODY needs to have a brief check in with reality?

I know situations like this are always in the "damage control" stage by the time it comes to officer interaction. I wasnt there to witness it all, but I do have some suggestions to diffuse, and possibly turn this into a positive experience in the future.

I work in a corporate customer service position, and I have been a GL for my guild on Khyber for a very long time. I have dealt with PO'ed non-guildies who were in guild-member run raids, and felt they got the shaft. I have been able to take the potentially disastrous situation, and turn it into a positive experience.

THIS IS CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, not a knock on how you handled it.

Your first comment starting off with "Hey" tends to make the person think you aren't really caring enough to be formal in the conversation. It's not a good start, and probably made them believe an insult was on it's way.

When you replied to his "already sent a notice out" with the *yawn* and "if not I'll do something more constructive then" you basically told him you really didnt care about his concern, you would much rather not deal with it. I would have taken that as an insult from your guild.

From then it looks like the conversation degenerated, and he didnt help in a mature way by returning with an insult.

Like I said, this is just constructive criticism, I KNOW it's just a game, but we all take the time we spend seriously. Whether its work or play.....when I speak to an angry customer, I find they settle down a lot when I speak professionally, take ownership of the problem, and sound (Sound like, mind you :P) like I care. That's the key.

You are right, communication is the key

I hope this all washes down the drain, which it eventually will (because it IS a game after all) but I'm afraid there might be some chips on people's shoulders for a while.

Do what I do, just DRINK more.....

[Pallol_One-Eye]

Come on Griph, why even bother responding to this tool??

In all seriousnes, I "obviously" am familiar with SFG. In my time there I never saw anyone have an issue with the guild or for that matter any of the members.

SFG is really about as laid back as they come. If someone has any issue with ANY Guild IMHO due to 1 person's "actions", be it real or perceived, then they need to man up and get with that person.

To further threaten a Guild just cause 1 ****-tard has a large epeen to stroke is the icing on this moron's cake.

Feel free to PM me the person/toon's name and I can taunt him just for kicks

[Vileborg]

Yeah like booting someone from a group who refuses to interact with the group is a bannable offense. I boot people just cause I don't like their voice, they talked way too much (I'm not here to hear you give a diatribe about your life, your characters life, or any other thing you think is important, just shut the **** up! OM ****** G Just shut the **** up already), don't like their name, they are another healer (Very Territorial), want directions (how am I supposed to give directions when I don't know where to go either), go afk right before we are about to start (get coffee, smoke a blunt, go sit on the pot before you hit the join button), or just because I wanted someone else (guildies FTW). I've even asked for the star for a sec, and then booted the leader because they annoyed me (had to squelch that guy, the gall of him to send me tells when I was trying to heal).

Of course I don't rightly care because as a cleric I'm a celebrity and I don't have to wait for groups. Usually people wait for a group to have a cleric and once one of us joins the group fills quickly. If you irritate me there are 500 other people who never get a group right behind you willing to take your spot so annoy me more!

As for the guy that got booted, get a pair of headphones, don't talk unless its absolutely necessary, roll a full healing cleric and learn to play it very well.

To everyone else, I look forwarding to seeing you all in game where you know you'll be in my capable hands.

[Vrangelya]

What does someone who complains to an officer or guild leader expect as a resolution?

Formal apology, reparations, public spanking? I am seriously curious to know what people expect. As far as I can see there aren't too many options or even leverage a guild leader can apply-severe talking to, demotion from officer to member, expulsion? What are all the tools in the guild leader/officer toolbox everyone seems to have but me!?

Realistically, I MIGHT tell my guildie to stop being an a$$ (if that's even the case). I understand reputation goes a long way but the idea that I can somehow fix an issue between other players AND have some RESPONSIBILITY to do so because one is a guildie is a bit unfair to the guilds. This is all responsibility with little or no authority.

You don't like an experience with a person or guild, move on.

V

[Mockduck]

As a member of SFG I think you handled this just fine. If the guy wanted to discuss it with you, you gave him a polite and open option to do so. The person just wanted to vent. Overall, not worth worry about.

Guild reputations are built up over time, largely through interactions outside of the guild. One person carrying a chip on their shoulder is not likely to be much of an issue, IMO.

[Kalari]

I can see reporting someone to a guild leader if they are doing something detrimental to the guilds name or rep. If they caused grief to a pug of strangers or did something reprehensible I think most guild leaders want to know so they can see what side they are on. Not every situation is black and white though as someone who has run with many SFG members I have to agree the person (Non guildie) was probably just a self important tool who thought "hey im made you kicked me now im gonna destroy you!" /angry face.

Its silly though and not worth much outside a chuckle at a not so bright person. Like I said ive had to kick people out of my groups before and believe me they deserved it. Im not a patient person hence why I run guild only mostly now cause only them lovable drunks can put up with me I say dont sweat this your not gonna please everyone on this server and its always fun to have anti fans

[doppleganger]

Reasons I have kicked people out of party:

Outright lieing to me Example: When asked if you have done this quest before you respond yes. Followed less then a minute later with, where is this quest I cant find it? = KICK

Lol, how can you be sure you were lied to? The person might have done the quest just once or twice, and not remembering where it is. You know, like when you begin this game, and you barely have time to follow all the zerging for all those new quests, and dont have much time to actually assimilate things because you are too distracted by all the novelty.