most of what people have said here is intelligent and correct. heres my 2cp...
curded crypt is not obsure. how can a quick easy quest that many people are keyed for, dropps one of the most mandatory items in the game, and drops multiple pieces of unbound coveted loot be obsure? i had someone in a bad pug tell me they didnt have time to run it. another person in that group told me he was not willing to take his choker off for the sft. ugh. also, i have a monk splash temest pally. thats a 5 stat toon boys and girls. i still managed to make sft a permanant fixture on that toon, without sacrificing any of the nececities, but it wasnt easy.
clerics and casters are cheap, tanks are expensive. this is a fact. weapons are expensive, and any tank worth their salt carries all the pots that have been previously mentioned in this thread.
i have 2 capped clerics. my first one was a healbot, and now he never gets played. my new one is my new favorite toon, and is going to be the first toon i "complete." the new one is an OCC, and is ridiculously uber. iv cleric'd it up for many many hours and i know what im doing. i also know what to expect from the rest of my party in any given quest. that said, i cant stand to be told what to do. i have the ability to heal, that does not make me your pocket healer. i have seen people think i am the biggest noob (or jerk) in the world for feeling that way.
be self sufficient. im not going to put it in my lfms, im going to let u find out the hard way. in fact most of the time i dont have the star, and im sure as hell not going to ask the person with the star to put it in the lfm.
as far as buffs, i know most of the quests quite well, so i know what buffs to cast. i may not heal u, but i will buff u. buffs are too good to overlook. they save healing and increase dps.
i dont heal anyone who can heal themself unless they are currently swinging a weapon and i dont want them to stop. this includes bards, rogues, wf casters and sorcs. if your sorc doesnt have UMD, the sooner u reroll the better.
i dont heal sp sponges more than a couple times. i usually warn them, but sometimes i just let them die and dont rez them.
i dont fix neg levels.
i carry 100 heal, mclw, mcmw and restore scrolls. i carry just about every wand a cleric can use. i have them because there are times when they are necessary. i dont carry them to save u from having to use your consumables.
there are obvious exceptions to what iv said here, but in general thats how it is. in the cases where a players lack of self sufficiency, and my refusal to make up for it, cause them to become completely ineffective, i find the party isnt missing out on much. besides, there arent many problems my blade barriers cant solve anyway
the most noteworty exception to my playstyle is when i have to go into healbot mode. this is mostly in raids. for the record iv got solo-clericing VOD down to a science.