From this point forward, the New Jersey Devils which are a hockey team that plays in Newark, NJ and is part of the National Hockey League will be changing there name from the aforementioned name above to the New Jersey Chokers. The new team logo will be the international symbol of choking and will be emblazioned on the chest of all Jersey's the team wears. This change will take affect immediately and be permanent until they can prove that they can finish off opponents in the playoffs.
In addition to the changes mentioned above, the "Rock" which the New Jersey Devils (Chokers) call home, located in Newark New Jersey will be renamed "The Heimlich" and during days when the Chokers are on the road, will hold classes in the proper application of The Heimlich Maneuver so as to learn how to handle the closing minutes of playoff games.
Finally, through these measures it is hoped that The New Jersey Chokers will learn from this epic failure and not repeat it in future playoff games. It is also hoped that Lou Lamoriello will review this team of chokers and make the necessary personal changes to mitigate the situation even further and reduce the probability of choking in the future.
Thank you to all New Jersey Devils fans as we try to swallow this extremely bitter pill.