Items Named after Khyber Players

[Inkblack]

Ink's pocket protector : Trinket

+3 exceptional intel bonus

3/day or when talking about crafting conversions
cast Mass Feeblemind

10% chance to hit self
20% chance to hit mobs
70% chance to hit Party

Fixed it for you...

Ink

[goofydad]

Taihaku's cudgel of greater squishiness
-20 to all saves
-10 DEX
+5 vs. ogres

[goofydad]

Drazgoth's Ham of Tastiness
-generates 1000 tasty hams/rest
-Tasty hams created all cause character to break out in song and dance

[Torosar]

Visor of Nuckles' Sight
- Goggles
- Grants Blurred Sight, Summon Torosar 1/day
- While equipped these eerie goggles impair the users map by blurring and distorting it in similar fashion to Von2 making it impossible to find your way on any map, especially Zawabi's Refuge. However, thankfully a roo-guide can be summoned between rests to counter this strange effect.

Milton's Wooden Shield
- Wooden Shield
- Grants Beardless Account
- This wooden shield carries an engraving of a small beaver and while equipped on any single toon on your account the user will find that their toons are no longer able to have beards forcing all your dwarves to look like beardless duegars.

Krish's Cow Boots
- Boots
- Grants +80% striding, Random chance of spontaneous death, x5 plat generated when selling to tavern or AH, Summon 1/day herd of cows
- These boots grant the user super speed to lead his herd safely through a dungeon. However a dark power dwells deep within the boots meaning that at any time the player may be killed without reason or explanation causing party members to erupt in laughter. The powers of the boot's creater flow through them and allow its current user to extract a greater amount of plat from any sale. A ferocious herd of cows can be mysteriously summoned once per day to rescue your "guildies".

[Hakushi]

Krish's Cow Boots
- Boots
- Grants +80% striding, Random chance of spontaneous death, x5 plat generated when selling to tavern or AH, Summon 1/day herd of cows
- These boots grant the user super speed to lead his herd safely through a dungeon. However a dark power dwells deep within the boots meaning that at any time the player may be killed without reason or explanation causing party members to erupt in laughter. The powers of the boot's creater flow through them and allow its current user to extract a greater amount of plat from any sale. A ferocious herd of cows can be mysteriously summoned once per day to rescue your "guildies".

There's also a mysterious effect. Every time the boots are used, there's a small chance the target will forget everything around him, resulting in burned chicken poor dogs won't even want to eat.

[splinterx]

Eternal Silver Tooth of Sowhat
50% Lag Bonus on Heals
50% Chance of Forgetting to Heal
Immunity to Reading Party Chat
100/day Otto's Irresistable Argue with Party Leader (Self)

You forgot the 100/day Take control of party against leaders will(DC:25)

[xope]

Streakin' Lawrence
Streakin' Trinket
Summon Streaking +Sir Lawrence 5/rest
Anytime he is summoned horrible lag will occur and all party members will be stripped of their gear and will follow Streakin' Lawrence.
If item is equipped in any subterrain quest all chest will drop nothing but gems.

[Aussieee]

All ammunition placed in the quiver has 75% chance of randomly spawning walls of text and casting 10 minutes of fear on the user.

Oh I got another one:
Cornyfel's order-Trinket
Cry me a river-24/7
Immunity to other peoples oppinion
Ability to see other as opposite gender

[Hordo]

Strakeln's Trinket of Immediate Assistance
3/day Summoning of the Waaaambulance for forum whining injuries.

[Strakeln]

Apache's Belt of Thoughtful Forgetance

- Forces the wearer to be eternally confused over whether Strakeln controls Qwijy or Gtar
- Auto-closes the party chat window
- Auto-posts good items on the AH for low prices, sends note to guildies upon sale so they know what they missed out on

[Anati]

Strakeln's Saucy Reponse

Helm- Min Level 14.

This mirrored helm has a gargoyle perched on top of it that utters a constant stream of abuse at attackers, and shines a blinding light into their eyes, while generating +10% Hate (stacks with feats).


muffinmaker

Okay, anything that sits atop your head and utters a string of abuse or obsenties is absolutely hilarious. Of course, it's probably not a good idea to wear that to work.

--Anati

[Anati]

Ink's pocket protector : Trinket

+3 exceptional intel bonus

3/day or when talking about mathmatical conversions
cast Mass Feeblemind

10% chance to hit self
20% chance to hit mobs
70% chance to hit Party

How about:

Inkblack's Overly Organized Bag of Holding
All items are automatically alphabatized in your pack.
All items actually stay where you put them.
A very large spreadsheet is automatically generated of the contents.

/sits back and waits for Ink to fix it...

[Hordo]

How about:

Inkblack's Overly Organized Bag of Holding
All items are automatically alphabatized in your pack.
All items actually stay where you put them.
A very large spreadsheet is automatically generated of the contents.

/sits back and waits for Ink to fix it...

Classic!

[Riot]

Riott Shield

+5 Mith Tower
Protection from casters who have to exit for mana on shroud part 1.
Protection from Link Death
Protection from Turbine Class Oversight
Immunity to B.S. excuses for getting killed due to stupidity
+15 Discount on Qwijy supplies.
and
+6 Charisma - cuz I'm cool like that.

[Saaluta]

Tawnie's Boots of Lava Diving
100% chance to find the one spot of lava in any quest and fall in.
200% chance when in DQ1, DQ2, VON 5, Chains of Flames or SOS.

Ryes Necklace of Luck
75% chance you will find that one item you are looking for
50% chance of overpaying for said item

only countered by: ty Doktr Strangelove

I'd suggest something more like
Soul's Karma - Trinket
*While equipped
+50 to finding safe spot
+20 to Arrogance and random chance to post 'noob' in party chat
+200 game lore
There is no greatness without humility you suffer a 25% chance of rolling a 1 for any dice roll

Sorry, quick edit...nothing counters the boots only necklace

[Churchwarden]

hmmmm.....there is that one auctioneer, does he count as an item?

Church's Featherfalling Boots of Super Jump - By double tapping the jump key, no matter what the character's skill, you are able to leap high into the air and slowly descend down allowing you to reach places you are not intended to be and rain death down upon your enemies from above.

Garuun's Hair of the Dog that Bit Him - (Trinket) Grants improved trip, no save, only works on self.

Dobharchu's Scroll of Summon Northern Market Tent Door - This location has absorbed so much negative energy that it is now cursed, by passing through it a character enters the afterlife (dies) but leaves no stone, and is thereby forced to wander the city a lost soul until some benevolent player takes pity on them and raises them.

[Gornn]

Classic!

Shield of Hordo

1/day Summon Gornn

duration: permanent until bedtime.

"You summon a powerful ally to fight for you. But not even he is strong enough from preventing you from dying from time to time."

[augie]

I don't really have anything to add but just wanted to say that this is one of the best threads I've read in a long time. lol

[Gornn]

Altarboy's mantle of righteous indignation

1 / day: prove someone wrong on the forums by saying "I'm right."

1 / day: Altarboy's dance of infraction. You may tow the line between what is infraction worthy and what is not.

1 / day: Smite yankee fan. No save.

"Mets rule."

(God I hope I remember it right that you're a met's fan bro. lol)

[Hordo]

Shield of Hordo

1/day Summon Gornn

duration: permanent until bedtime.

"You summon a powerful ally to fight for you. But not even he is strong enough from preventing you from dying from time to time."

I just may have to get me one of these for my last-minute "oh what the heck" runs on SOS or the Shroud!