See, I have very little problem getting pugs to listen because usually I kindly, and slowly, but emphatically inform them how I'm going to use the dancing balls. Usually, its a green party thats happy to learn. I'll say maybe 5% will be like skrew that and do their own thing. Those are the ones that save me money and resourcesThey dont get healed.
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For just starting out in the Shroud all you really want are the best set of greater construct bane weapons you can find(Lol - this is the only other spot I recommend 2wf, because you'll hit the portal on a 2 or more almost every time) and a metaline pure good. As time marches on... you can search for/buy better.
I'd never trade empower healing for any feat. It will truly bork your ability to heal successfully in your tightest situations. If you insist on quicken, definitely keep empower healing. they synergize extremely well. I'd replace negotiator. That way, you dont affect your gameplay.
Weapon wise your in good shape but will question one word you stated... "sets". The only time I put 2 weapons in my hand to DPS is when a monster is held. Your dex is way too low to dual wield without the magic help. Your to-hit/damage will go up exponentially going ThF. Good quarterstaffs can get the job done. Even "sword and board" works well as long as you use the right shield. Remember, you dont want arcane spell failure....