Things you learn from the Movies...

[Bekki]

It is about Time... for a lighthearted thread...
There has been to much "Doom and Gloom"
on the Forums lately with all the

"I am leaving" And
"This New Mod will be The DdOOOOooooooooommm!!!!
of the Game...
So... your "Friendly Neighborhood Bartender" is here to Lighten things up!"

Five Years ago My friend and Got into a Discussion over Movie Stereotypes
he had apparent Gotten a hold of Or Put together a list
of these Stereotypes... the Title was

"Things you learn from the Movies"

It was and is is Chock full of Humorous situations,
Stereotypes, and Myths, that the Movies Love to pull.


For Over the course of five years
we have continued to add to this List.... to the 50 or so on here.


Feel free to Add your Own...

Few simple rules...

Keep it Short and Sweet.

It Must have been Repeated...ALOT...

And If possible... it Should be rather well known...


And above all...

Have Fun!!!

[Bekki]

1. All large, loft-style apartments in New York
City are well within the price range of most people--
whether they are employed or not.

2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is
born evil.

3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't
worry which wire to cut.
You will always choose the right one.

4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to
override the communications system of any invading
alien society.

5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered
in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait
patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in
a threatening manner until you have knocked out their
predecessors.

6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything
in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just
slightly bluish.

7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to
become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age
of 22.

8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally
gunned down three days before their retirement.

9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer
to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery
involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers,
and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at
least 20 minutes to escape.

10. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets
that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist
level on the man lying beside her.

11. All grocery shopping bags contain at least
one stick of French bread.

12. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing
there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

13. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while
scuba diving.

14. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war
unless you make the mistake of showing someone a
picture of your sweetheart back home.

15. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a
German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to
speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.

16. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any
window in Paris.

17. A man will show no pain while taking the most
ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to
clean his wounds.

18. If a large pane of glass is visible,
someone will be thrown through it before long.

19. If staying in a haunted house, women should
investigate any strange noises in their most revealing
underwear.

20. Word processors never display a cursor on
screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.

21. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road,
it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously
from left to right every few moments.

22. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing
devices with large red readouts so you know exactly
when they're going to go off.

23. A detective can only solve a case once he
has been suspended from duty.

24. If you decide to start dancing in the
street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

25. Police departments give their officers
personality tests to make sure they are deliberately
assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

26. When they are alone, all foreign military
officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

27. It is easy to outrun an explosion and subsequent
shock wave if you can spot the fireball before it hits you.

28. No villain is ever truly evil, just misunderstood.

29. A hero's pure dumb luck will always foil a
meticulously planned, brilliantly evil scheme.

30. Anyone can walk into an auction house and
start bidding on priceless artifacts, usually by
accident and no one including the auctioneer will
question their identity or ability to pay.

31. All chess games will end in checkmate; even
between grandmasters and nobody will understand
the difference between a stalemate and a Mexican
Standoff.

32. It is possible to be knocked unconscious, shot,
strangled, stabbed, beaten, clubbed with crowbars
and fall from great heights within a few days’ time
and experience no long lasting ill effects.

33. Vendor carts or fruit and vegetable stands are
guaranteed destruction during the obligatory runaway
or chase scene.

34. Amnesia, usually the result of a bump on the head,
is an extremely commonplace occurrence.

35. All doomsday weapons are routinely fitted with self-
destruct devices and the activating switch will be clearly
marked in English with large block letters.

36. Driving on sidewalks and/ or against the flow of traffic
will result in zero casualties and a clean getaway.

37. All murder victims must leave cryptic messages or clues
even if in possession of pen and paper.

38. Cars always tend to explode if hit by gunfire or when
crashing through guardrails and going over cliffs.

39. No one outside of Japan will seem to know the difference
between a samurai and a ninja or that there even is a difference.

40. Anyone can become an expert sharpshooter without any
experience or rudimentary training with firearms.

41. All saloons in the American Old West will charge a single coin
of indeterminate denomination for all alcoholic drinks with no
change asked for or given.

42. Theft is always acceptable when in a hurry; so gypping
or stiffing a cab driver, shopkeeper, food merchant etc. is
expected and perhaps mandatory.

43. The destruction of property, either public or private, is
required during any large scale brawl.

44. When getting the drop on a bad guy, police officers
should yell “Halt!” or “Freeze!” to give the villain a chance
to counterattack or take a hostage.

45. Kidnapping victims will ask to go to the restroom in
order to attempt an escape since no one ever actually
has to relieve themselves except in comedies.


46. Bombs can be disarmed only if they are within a few seconds
from detonation.

47. When knocking out a guard, always leave his weapon lying
nearby so that he can start shooting at you when he wakes up.

48. A villain should take time to explain his fiendish plans in great
detail so that the hero can escape and stop him.

49. Guests should insult their hosts during dinner since bad
manners and rude behavior can be considered the height of
moral fortitude.

50. Superheroes never seem trip on or get tangled in their capes.

51. Crashing into waiters carrying trays of food in restaurants is
usually good for a few laughs. And if a waiter is unavailable,
smashing into a cart or table laden with food and drink is
always an option.

52 . It is easy to take on an army of villains after waking up
from a Coma after 4-7 Years; With only your Heroic Iron will
A Light exercise Routine, and maybe a good Breakfast.

[BurnerD]

Good Post

50. Superheroes never seem trip on or get tangled in their capes.
You've never seen the Incredibles have you? NO Capes!!!!

How about...

- Whenever being chased by a deranged killer, monster, or angry mob, the vehicle you get into will never start until the fourth or fifth try....

- Burning cars are harmless... they will absolutely not explode until you make your dive to cover.

- When shot in a western a gunman on a roof will never simply fall onto the roof, but must complete ate least one somersault as he plummets to the ground below. (falling onto a lower roof is considered bonus style points.

- All weapons have clips which contain an unlimited amount of ammunition, unless a dramatic pause is required.... then the hero or villian will stop to reload.

[Bekki]

Good Post

50. Superheroes never seem trip on or get tangled in their capes.
You've never seen the Incredibles have you? NO Capes!!!!

Ah, but I have!

That is an exception!

And lesson #50.
Is the WHOLE reason for that scene!


"The Watchmen" FTW!!!!

[Opall]

After a night of pleasure with that man/woman, you wake in their arms and begin to kiss.........not caring at all about morning mouth

Only in the movies
Yuck.

Opall

[Missing_Minds]

After a night of pleasure with that man/woman, you wake in their arms and begin to kiss.........not caring at all about morning mouth

Only in the movies
Yuck.

Opall

*laughs* man that reminds me of Bill Engval now.

Only in the movies will you see people in the middle of hot love making, only to roll/THUD off the bed, 2+ feet up, onto the ground and NOT miss a stroke.

Also,

All cars in movies have enough high octane fuel in them such that when they explode, they flip a mimimum of once. This happens even if the car is "empty".

[BurnerD]

Oh and this one...

If you fire a gun at someone climbing a ladder the bullets will always hit the ladder several times, but not the person.....

[Yajerman01]

All italian boxers will percevier.

Samwise Gamgee from the movie "Lord of the Rings" will always be remembered as RUDY!

All undercover agents will have a hot-looking sidekick.

[Spartus]

Holding a lighter up to a sprinkler head will trigger the heat sensitive element not just in that sprinkler head, causing it to spray water, but will also trigger the heat sensitive elements in every sprinkler head in the building, causing all sprinkler heads throughout the entire building to start spraying water. Pulling the fire alarm switch on the wall will have the same effect.

[Kreaper]

A real firearm never needs to be reloaded.


Evil bad guys are smart enough to launch a plot to conquer the world but so dumb that they cant figure out that they should kill the hero at the very first opportunity they get.


Any attempt by Starfleet to assign you to a starship as a non-officer should be hastily refused unless you are suicidal.


Whenever you are in a spooky house and find one of your friends decapitated you should immediately go exploring with nothing more than a broken flashlight.


EVERYONE in the former Soviet Union wants us all dead.


It is obvious that war is around solely for corporate profits because either Chuck Norris or John Wayne could have crushed any enemy of the US in one day if the government would have just asked.


The only education you can get in college is how to drink more.


Average poor kids will ALWAYS beat spoiled rich kids.


Most actors, extras and stunt men could not shoot the broad side of a barn no matter how many times they fire their unlimited ammo weapons.


Rag-tag little league teams with loser coaches will ALWAYS overcome highly financed, highly disciplined all-star caliber teams with just a little effort.


You can become a karate expert simply by painting a wall and waxing a car.

[kinar]

A friend and I have put to gether a List of
"Things you learn from the Movies"

So you are saying that you and "your friend" are taking credit for this list that has been floating around the internet for years?

Or are you saying that the internet is your friend?

[Missing_Minds]

So you are saying that you and "your friend" are taking credit for this list that has been floating around the internet for years?

Or are you saying that the internet is your friend?

I think he is saying...

here is a copy of a list that my friend and I have been adding to as we came up with more from watching movies. Have fun with this list because people (like you apparently) are wanting to be complainers so rather than being whining and complaining, laugh. If you can think of any to add, please do so.

[Bekki]

So you are saying that you and "your friend" are taking credit for this list that has been floating around the internet for years?

Or are you saying that the internet is your friend?

I think he is saying...

Here is a copy of a list that my friend and I have been adding to as we came up with more from watching movies. Have fun with this list because people (like you apparently) are wanting to be complainers so rather than being whining and complaining, laugh. If you can think of any to add, please do so.

Thanks Missing...


The answer is...Neither...

I don't claim to be a genius...

The List I posted, My friend Had,
and After many lengthy disscussions about movies
Over a period of about 3-5 years while we sat next each other in A cubicle...

we have contiued to add to it... until it has reac 50 or so,

I am sure there are many Similar list's... and other such things Out there...

I am sure if you do a seach on it (If you feel the Need) you will find something similar...

I honestly have no Idea...

We just got started discussing it one Day... and had a Laugh.
Over time It became a running joke between us...
and for fun, we decided to write things down as we went...

We would e-mail the list back an forth between us after we added a few...
And over the years we just had fun adding to it on our own...

I thought it would be fun to throw it up here
and let everyone have a little fun for a change...

I like reading the forums, but I just got tired of the "Doom and Gloom"

So I thought I would take Our "little List"
and throw it up here so people could have fun

Instead of all the... "Griefing" and "complaining"....

Please... Have some fun, and Add to the List...
That's all I am Asking...Okay.

Please don't try to Bring down the Thread...

We are just trying to have a little fun here...

That's All...

[kinar]

...The List I posted, My friend and I generated all on our own...

Post title... "Things you learn from the movies" generates ~16million google results.

The third one down is: http://www.temple.edu/ispr/examples/ex00_04_02.html which lists YOUR top 26 verbatim. These same 26 are in countless others in those search results.

Are you sure they were generated "all on your own"?

If you say "yes, those internet sites stole MY (and my coworkers) work", then great, matter closed.

If your answer is anything else, then maybe you should rethink what you've said here...


I'm not here to TC or to bring down the spirit of the post. I just feel strongly that not taking credit for other people's work is more important.

[Bekki]

Post title... "Things you learn from the movies" generates ~16million google results.

The third one down is: http://www.temple.edu/ispr/examples/ex00_04_02.html which lists YOUR top 26 verbatim. These same 26 are in countless others in those search results.

Are you sure they were generated "all on your own"?

If you say "yes, those internet sites stole MY (and my coworkers) work", then great, matter closed.

If your answer is anything else, then maybe you should rethink what you've said here...


I'm not here to TC or to bring down the spirit of the post. I just feel strongly that not taking credit for other people's work is more important.

Kinar,

Five years ago I got into discussion with My coworker and friend.

It centered around movie stereotypes... and He had come up with the List,
How many were on it at the Time I don't recall...

If He got it from Somewhere else... I don't Know, But we had funn adding to it
and I say again, for over FIVE YEARS

But That was not the Point of My Thread.
it was only to say "Hey lets have a little fun..."

And THIS is exactly what I was Talking about...

I have grown Weary of all the "Griefing" on these forums...
of All the heartache, and "Doom and Gloom"...

The very lists you cite repeatedly say "Source unknown"

So who Knows who made it?

I don't...
Now If I was trying to Say "The Internet Stole My friends and I's work."

As you so Quaintly put it...

THAT would Be trying to Take Credit.

All I know,
is that Over the course of Five years we have continued to add to this list
in the Spirit intended, the list grew to The 50 or so you see here.

I am not trying to "Take credit" for anything, Just have a little fun.

But to Satisfy you, and to Avoid any trouble...

I have edited my OP.

I have no desire to claim credit for anything we didn't add to the List...
and I have no desire get in War over this... Enjoy your Victory

Thank you for being a Wet Blanket.

You win.

[VonBek]

Or are you saying that the internet is your friend?

The Interweb are a Lie!

You may travel freely through any building, bypassing locked doors, armed guards, Rube Goldberg'a leftover traps, carnivorous aliens and such, by using the ventilation system.

... Hey! does the pit have air ducts?!?!?!

[Bekki]

... Hey! does the pit have air ducts?!?!?!

I hope So! It would make Solving it MUCH FASTER!!!

[Kistilan]

At point-blank range a critical key character (like, say, a wise-guy Smuggler or Chosen One) cannot only dodge a wrench and dodgeball, but laser blasts and bulletime fire.

And that The Lightsaber is the most powerful weapon. Ever. And will always be.

[cdbd3rd]

Until the script calls for you to get out of it, you may drive your vehicle off any raised surface and continue on (often with the hood repaired for the next scene).

i.e.
Terminator 2, driving a semi off a bridge over a drainage canal and continuing to drive it.
Any of the Dukes of Hazzard shows/movie.
Etc.


Similarly, should you need to drive through a building, there will be a handy drop-off and parking garage on the other side to land on.

ALSO:

Any time you open a door/wardrobe or bash a hole in the wall of your house and you see it goes "somewhere else", you must go through.



Yeah, I would too, but... *looks around at his life* ...can ya blame me?

[GlassCannon]

No matter how small it is, the explosion it generates will be at least the size of a large mansion, and will cause everything else in the area to spontaneously explode, even if the object or material is nonexplosive and nonflammable.

Racing a train is never a problem: you will always either beat it or vault over an empty car, to safety.

No matter how badly you drive, your car is invulnerable and everything will move out of your way.