I can see where you are coming from, but that is like saying the cleric in question was not healing that great, but we stayed in the fight anyways and wiped. I suppose it is a point-of-view.
1st View: The cleric didn't heal fast enough and wiped the party.
2nd View: The party members decided to stay in and die instead of back out to survive.
Many players find that blaming one player in a group of 6 or 12 is far easier then looking into what they as the induvidual could have done to help.
Example: Shroud group of 12, including plenty of experienced players. In part 4 we find ourselves down to 3 players with about 20% life to go on the Fiend. 1 caster, 1 cleric, 1 barbarian. Now after the chatter of panic over VC, we work out the details of how to finish part 4 and get it done. Now players that had died were spamming tells to me making comments of how we didn't have a chance. How the cleric could not keep everyone else alive so how are the 3 of us going to finish. Caster and Barbarian learned to stay alive along with the cleric, not putting blame on one induvidual, and the 3 of us got it done together. I think it only took 3-4 rounds at that point. (I was the caster)
It still comes down to the fact that DDO is a game, and it is important to enjoy the game, since that is the intention of a game.
Who is the more decent player? The one who has a multitude of specifics that will most certainly offend players as they try to join the LFM, or the player that not only abuses the party leader but boasts about it in the forums?