Stormreach Mayoral Race

[Karranor]

I see Nat Gann RISING in the POLES on those elaborate campaign promises... but I think he may find himself... much like in game... absent... without a leg to stand on... and falling flat on his face from that elaborate platform of his.

My poor brain! Why!



hehehe

[Hraust]

My poor brain! Why!

I think Fred can fix that for you...


Do some good with Goodblade!

[Kistilan]

I see Nat Gann RISING in the POLES on those elaborate campaign promises... but I think he may find himself... much like in game... absent... without a leg to stand on... and falling flat on his face from that elaborate platform of his.

Stormreach never had it so good!!! You never had it so good! ~Miracle Max, TPB~

Besides, is it coincidence that Nat Gann began lobbying for direct transports to Meridia, and now The Twelve and House d'Phiarlan/Canith are nearly done working out a Greater Teleport to Meridia?!? Who do you think financed this? Who lobbied for it?

I'll tell ya who -- Nat Gann and The New Stormreach Union, that's who!

Nat Gann's for every man!

PS: Stay tuned folks -- he's bound to fix the live events in House d'Phiarlan AND instigate a timely outdoor bazaar filled with street performances, loot vendors and refreshments in a beautified outdoor city park where the old Marketplace Tent once stood! Your tax dollars will finally be spent as Nat Gann would say, "proper and responsibly."

[Clankenbeard]

I see Nat Gann on the poles now, no pun intended! But still looking for the Festival Jester.

This is turning into some kind of mass event! If only some developer that wants to sit in chairs would take notice...

Well, Clanky was sure that Nat Gann was a terrible choice for Mayor. But when Nat Gann *cough* Kistilan *cough cough* kept right on pushing his candidacy down my throat I had a talk with the Cornlords. They agreed to acknowledge him and put him on the site. Of course they had to tweak the wording for his platform to help the average vote understand his words. (If those really are words.)

So Kistilan sent in a transcript and Nat's audio for the site. Excellent job Kist! Unless you say otherwise, I'll e-mail it to Jerry for the DDoCast. Then you'll be the idol of halves of dozens just like me and Lessah! Okay, okay...just like Lessah. (For the record, Jerry is a close personal friend of mine. I drop his name all of the time to get a good table at Arby's.)

The Jester will go up on the site ASAP. This P may be a ways off. I am currently shipping out scads of emergency pipeline repair tools to the Gulf of Mexico. Hurricane Ike did loads of damage which makes Clanky a very busy dwarf.

Beware, Nat! I have heard rumblings of a smear campaign advertisement against you! Wait. Let me rephrase for you: "Oyve erd da rumblens o'va semeeer k'mpayne a'ginya!"

[Kistilan]

Well, Clanky was sure that Nat Gann was a terrible choice for Mayor. But when Nat Gann *cough* Kistilan *cough cough* kept right on pushing his candidacy down my throat I had a talk with the Cornlords. They agreed to acknowledge him and put him on the site. Of course they had to tweak the wording for his platform to help the average vote understand his words. (If those really are words.)

So Kistilan sent in a transcript and Nat's audio for the site. Excellent job Kist! Unless you say otherwise, I'll e-mail it to Jerry for the DDoCast. Then you'll be the idol of halves of dozens just like me and Lessah! Okay, okay...just like Lessah. (For the record, Jerry is a close personal friend of mine. I drop his name all of the time to get a good table at Arby's.)

The Jester will go up on the site ASAP. This P may be a ways off. I am currently shipping out scads of emergency pipeline repair tools to the Gulf of Mexico. Hurricane Ike did loads of damage which makes Clanky a very busy dwarf.

Beware, Nat! I have heard rumblings of a smear campaign advertisement against you! Wait. Let me rephrase for you: "Oyve erd da rumblens o'va semeeer k'mpayne a'ginya!"

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.... Let's not get carried away here: the praising, the smearing and all other forms of shenanigans. Kist (me) didn't do anything... I mean, we've got to consider what's best for Nat Gann. A'ight!

Show your support for Nat Gann and he'll perform!

PS: Seriously, thanks for letting me help with this awesome project. Anything I've posted on the ddo forums is public consumption. By all means, Jerry's more'n welcome to use it!

[Xgemina]

I can hardly believe what I am hearing. Scores of people campaigning for a mindflayer who is apparently in the employ of the dragons of Argonnessen. Oh, you forgot that little fact that Lockania has some type of power over Fred to give his services for free, did you? Either that or you are such frequent customers of Fred that he has managed to re-write your memories in such a way that you can’t remember what is right or wrong. I certainly don’t want dragons in charge of my city and I don’t want Fred messing with my brain; I say better dead than Fred!

As for Nat Gann...I understand that his whole “I’ve fallen and can’t get up” routine was actually a big scam to get out of defending Stormreach from the Shavarrath invasion. I spoke with the two guards just outside the barracks, as well as a concerned citizen in the area, and all three were of the opinion that Nat was simply a big coward trying to gain sympathy and money from everyone that passed by. Lets just say, Nat doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Who will I vote for in this election? Well, when my other choices are scam artists, kobolds, and incompetent harbor masters, I say we need a new option on the ballot. My vote this election will be for Husk! Husk is a quiet, non-assuming craftsman who will be able to gather support from both the warforged and the fleshy populations. Plus, he’s known to care for his friends (I mean, he let you in to save Haywire, didn’t he?).



After all, we all know how mindflayers feel about warforged...if you don’t, here is a leaked video that will help you see how they really feel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtZRoKrVSBI

[Memnir]

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*this Ad Payed For By The Friends Of Fred Coalition™.

[Inspire]

A Man With Determination And A Fire In His Eyes... A Burning Desire To Do His Duty!



**** Deck Paolo! For Office!


J/K

[Bradik_Losdar]

a Man With Determination And A Fire In His Eyes... A Burning Desire To Do His Duty!



**** Deck Paolo! For Office!

Lmao!!!

[ShaeNightbird]

P@@p deck Paolo? HE DOESN'T EVEN RESIDE IN STORMREACH!

I believe residency should be a definite requirement for candidacy. P@@p deck Paolo lives in a comfortable beachfront suburb. He's far too busy running around to focus on the real issues that concern the citizens of Stormreach. Imagine trying to discuss important business with the guy, and having to chase him all over the place trying to get a word with him. Bah.

We need Fred. He is mindful of what we in Stormreach consider to be important. He has lived among us for countless generations, and has been nothing but kind. We are willing to nominate crooks and Coin lords (Aren't they the same thing, really?) but when it comes to Fred, bigotry and xenophobia take over.

Look beyond the tentacles, friends, and realise Fred is on our side. Don't allow anti Illithid sentiment from preventing the best creature for the job from becoming Stormreach's next mayor. There's a Kobold on the ballot for goodness' sake. We've had more trouble from them than we ever had with Illithids. Case by case basis, here, I'd say. So keep an open mind, people. Vote for Fred!

[vyrank]

I had thought once again about Fred. Then I remembered that he spends all day putting his tentacles up people's Noses. That just isn't Mayor material to me.

A Mayor walking around with stuff dripping off his tentacles. If that doesn't just make an unsightly image.

Zin has been in a position to make changes. He is bringing us a whole new harbor. And soon a whole new Stormreach.

Nat Gann fell down from his stick after constant mumbling and slurred language. I heard it was a REHAB issue.


Win with Zin.

[ShaeNightbird]

I had thought once again about Fred. Then I remembered that he spends all day putting his tentacles up people's Noses. That just isn't Mayor material to me.

A Mayor walking around with stuff dripping off his tentacles. If that doesn't just make an unsightly image.

Oh please, Fred has a lot more class than that. Do you not notice that he always carries a clean handkerchief everywhere he goes? And he doesn't put his tentacles up people's noses. That's gross. They go into your ears instead. Alright, so there's an earwax issue. (Bleah... ) But hey...that's what the handkerchief is for!

[Kalari]

Wow Mr. Gann that was um..classy I dont think I need to hear no more about yer big stick..you do know the saying about those who brag...

And im adding another one to Skrapps the killer kobold, and F'nord the twelve sneak, who wont get my vote cause im sorry no one with the name **** can be trusted. I mean what platform could he really stand on that would not end up smelly? And is he like the other drunk pirates that loaf around three barrel cove? Just smelly all the way of **** and fish and that salty air that make my wizard choke everytime I step into that port.


Think im leaning towards the flayer since resistance is futile, or Zin maybe he will finally get his men together.

[ShaeNightbird]

Wow Mr. Gann that was um..classy I dont think I need to hear no more about yer big stick..you do know the saying about those who brag...

Indeed. You'd never hear Fred discuss such a thing in public, or anyplace else for that matter. Fred's the Illithid with inimitable style, and oodles of class. He keeps his mind out of the gutter, unless that's where the person who's mind he's "interacting" with at the moment happens to be.

[Alavatar]

Seriously, what has Zin done? He's been working on getting rid of the kobolds in the Harbor for years without success!

Fred, on the other hand, provides results every time you visit him.

[Mockduck]

This thread is providing infinite fodder for DDOcast's upcoming mayoral stuff. The plan is to have an election at some point this fall on the forums somewhere, either on ddocast.com or ddo.com (or both, possibly). Lots of goofiness will be coming!

FYI - I am impartial and would never announce my endorsement for mayor. Now, where's that respec token...just kidding!

[Kalari]

wow just..yeah I think i'll keep your pole away from my platform Mr. Gann, your speech just gives me that creepy Ive been hit on again by one of them drunkards at the local pub feel. Just not what I am looking for as a Mayor, I mean charisma is one thing but that man about the town with a big strong pole will only get ya so far when bargaining with the twelve. And if you remember most of them are not of the female persuasion. So save ya big pole talk and show us what you will do to better stormreach.

more and more the flayer is looking better, at least his messages dont leave ya feeling dirty LOL

[Xgemina]

Everyone keeps talking about Fred and how he is always there for them and they make it seem like he has always been in his dark, dank little corner in the House Jorasco enclave. But, he was actually came to our fair city when the Menechtarun Desert became the new hot spot for our intrepid population. By the way, did you ever think why Fred is located in the Jorasco enclave? I’ll tell you why: because Fred screws up, a lot, and it’s only due to the healing halfling house that many survive. What about those who don’t survive, you ask? Well, there is Delera’s Graveyard, always full of restless spirits out to get their revenge on the living...

As for Nat, phhhff, whatever. Have you seen his latest speaches? I mean, I’ve seen the man, but understand him? I think the rumors may be true about his drug dependency if you know what I mean. But, enough of Nat...Husk, in his quiet and unobtrusive way, has let me know that he would like to withdraw his name from consideration.


So I’m here today to let you know about my pick for the next mayor of Stormreach.

You all know her. She’s touched many of Stormreach's heros, in many, many ways, and she is always ready and willing to service YOU.

She’s a perfect fit for every man...and woman in Stormreach

She’s a working girl, so she knows what it is like to be in a strange and awkward position and having to fight her way free of entanglements. And, at the end of the day, to find that the loot just wasn’t worth the time, effort and sweat it took to get it.

She has been here much longer than most of the voters who will vote in the upcoming mayoral race. In fact, she has been here since the beginning and as a native girl of Stormreach is the best to lead us into the next age.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Warforged of both inclinations, I give you the next Mayor of Stormreach, Scarlett the Harlot!

[Lithic]

Everyone keeps talking about Fred and how he is always there for them and they make it seem like he has always been in his dark, dank little corner in the House Jorasco enclave. But, he was actually came to our fair city when the Menechtarun Desert became the new hot spot for our intrepid population. By the way, did you ever think why Fred is located in the Jorasco enclave? I’ll tell you why: because Fred screws up, a lot, and it’s only due to the healing halfling house that many survive. What about those who don’t survive, you ask? Well, there is Delera’s Graveyard, always full of restless spirits out to get their revenge on the living...

As for Nat, phhhff, whatever. Have you seen his latest speaches? I mean, I’ve seen the man, but understand him? I think the rumors may be true about his drug dependency if you know what I mean. But, enough of Nat...Husk, in his quiet and unobtrusive way, has let me know that he would like to withdraw his name from consideration.


So I’m here today to let you know about my pick for the next mayor of Stormreach.

You all know her. She’s touched many of Stormreach's heros, in many, many ways, and she is always ready and willing to service YOU.

She’s a perfect fit for every man...and woman in Stormreach

She’s a working girl, so she knows what it is like to be in a strange and awkward position and having to fight her way free of entanglements. And, at the end of the day, to find that the loot just wasn’t worth the time, effort and sweat it took to get it.

She has been here much longer than most of the voters who will vote in the upcoming mayoral race. In fact, she has been here since the beginning and as a native girl of Stormreach is the best to lead us into the next age.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Warforged of both inclinations, I give you the next Mayor of Stormreach, Scarlett the Harlot!

She was forced to change her name a few months after launch. Now she is Charlotte the scarlett or something similar.

[Memnir]

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*this Ad Payed For By The Friends Of Fred Coalition™.