Stormreach Mayoral Race

[Memnir]

Fred is the only candidate who brings true change to the citizens of Stormreach*.


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*This ad payed for by the Friends of Fred Coalition™.

[vyrank]

Zin is the way of the future! He is bringing great changes to the Harbor. He is paving the way to a much brighter better Stormreach. Lets give him the authority and power to do it correctly!



Goodblade?
Hah! How can you vote for someone who has betrayed, lied to you again and again and offered false hopes only to have them turn into a flimsy worthless piece of metal. I can't believe anyone would vote for someone like that. I have seen the real sword of Tesyus and Goodblade wouldn't know it if it cut him in two!


A kobold?!? PVP? not getting my vote.


I would vote for FRED before I would vote for Goodblade or the Kobold.

[Vorn]

Got cornered by a mindflayer in the subterraine the other day. Failed the save vs. mindblast, thought I was dead meat, then these words burst into my mind:

Better Fred than Dead!!!

The mindflayer then released me and went on it's way.

[Lessah]

Zin is the way of the future! He is bringing great changes to the Harbor. He is paving the way to a much brighter better Stormreach. Lets give him the authority and power to do it correctly!



Goodblade?
Hah! How can you vote for someone who has betrayed, lied to you again and again and offered false hopes only to have them turn into a flimsy worthless piece of metal. I can't believe anyone would vote for someone like that. I have seen the real sword of Tesyus and Goodblade wouldn't know it if it cut him in two!


A kobold?!? PVP? not getting my vote.


I would vote for FRED before I would vote for Goodblade or the Kobold.

AGREED! WIN with ZIN!!!! He is the way and has the will!

Who are Goodblades financial backers??? Inquiring minds want to know!!! is it... SIGMUND???

I would not vote for that crazy kobold... I think he may be related to that other Kobold that thinks he is a dragon!!!! Though, I did not blame him at all for biting Jerry King's face on the Jerry King Live show.... who DOESN'T want to do that???

Got cornered by a mindflayer in the subterraine the other day. Failed the save vs. mindblast, thought I was dead meat, then these words burst into my mind:

Better Fred than Dead!!!

The mindflayer then released me and went on it's way.

I knew it!!! The mind flayers are mobilizing against us!!!

[Luth]

Marguerite Dryden - daughter of a powerful figure of authority in Stormreach, survivor of the clutches of the undead, and author of the best seller, "Overcoming the Wraith Inside Us All".

Shaman Har Har - resident of the waterworks (which holds a large percentage of Stormreach inhabitants) "Because you'll go far with Har Har."

[Mockduck]

Man, this thread remains totally funny. I'm going to have to type up some more candidate ads for next week's show...

[frederjoe1]

Is Coyle running? I want a leader that jumps haphazardly into battle and doesn't wait for the approval of his party members......

LOL is this a veiled Bush comment....

[bigal4458]

LOL is this a veiled Bush comment....

Perhaps....

[frederjoe1]

Perhaps....

Not saying i don't like it......ok ok ....i think it is f'in hilarious....

[Memnir]

Fred: The Candidate Who Truly RESPECTS You.*



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*This ad payed for by the Friends of Fred Coalition™.

[Kistilan]

Dear Clankenbeard-

It seems that picture of you kicking Nat Gann was indeed authentic! I inquired with Aargos of the Archiver Society and the original was still in the Society's safe-keeping and somehow leaked out. Further research also revealed HOW the once-missing Nat Gann disappeared, thanks to the uncouth actions certain unscrupulous men, no, that's not quite the right word, dwarves under the guise of the Coin Lord's orders.

It appears these men, wait, dwarves, had been after Nat Gann for several years due to his continued political activities within Stormreach. His party was rallying for support for the upcoming elections - these particular elections - and said dwarven "Coin Lords" continued to hound and chase him throughout the city in attempts to persuade him to give up his free market and equilibrium symposium. Ironically, you had no small part in crippling Nat Gann so that he might be "persuaded" to leave by the ruffians, excuse me, "coin lords," that were in the service of a certain Harbormaster.

Further records, accounted by Nat Gann himself prior to his disappearance, include him running into a "free enterprise" within the Harbor's Sewers, commissioned by the Harbormaster himself, WITHOUT full authorization of the City's Waterworks. Seriously, did you think he'd forget you and yer accomplice were peddling an addictive brew to the kobolds. So addictive infact that it drove them into a frenzy when any city guard went into the Waterworks for a civic repair! I won't waive a finger upon you, but for shame, this disregard for the well-being of the city very well may put the blood of many guards and adventurers on the hands of a certain Harbormaster AND his allies. It's a mere wonder why he hires adventurers to go into the Waterworks and "search" for his lost guards. It is a simple thought process to see how the city has been wronged, and why Nat Gann was a threat in the next election.

Continuing on, as Nat Gann laid there, maimed and disheartened, the "Coin Lords" ejected him from the city all together and sent him sprawling across the countryside with a broken leg. Miracle of miracles, a kind halfling of the d'Jorasco relation found him, half-starved and nearly dead in a puddle of filth and putresence in Xend'rik. That kind soul nursed him back, and Nat Gann indeed is lurking in the shadows. If I were you, sir, I would be very worried and watching my back -- this acrobat was pushed too far, and it seems he's back to settle the odds.

Regards.

-Kistilan
Archiver Society Custodian

What the devil?!?! That is actually a picture of ME from over a year ago kicking the pole out from under Nat Gann! I was told that all copies of it had been destroyed. I paid a great sum to make sure this never resurfaced. Oh well. What's done is done.

Nat used to be very charismatic and was on top of all of the poles. He was all about free enterprise. But then, the market crashed and his platform crumbled. Poor guy found himself without a leg to stand on.

Your catch-phrase seems a bit wordy with the 700 or so adjectives. Maybe you could use an anagram or something. That would be: DBCREPKF (pronounced "Dib-KREP-kif"). There you go! Easy. Now you and Skrapps are on a level playing field.

I think you will have to admit that Nat Gann is a citizen QUITE unlike myself. (What with the "me kicking him" and all.) He is gone now and I am still here saying "WIN WITH ZIN!"

This Message has been Authorized by Nat Gann & The New Stormreach Union.

[deathtouch]

As much as I love the service that GTAR and Qwigy offer, we should vote for Gornn and show him that EVERYBODY loves him.

[salmag]

I heard some "rumors" about Zin.

-he has a secret love child. Some say it's with Cydonie.
-he has lost his mind and Guard Jung is actually running the Harbor.
-he is the person responsible for Nat Gann's disappearance.
-the Silver Flame is backing him. What about separation of church and state?
-he secretly wants Shavarrath to overrun Stormreach.
-he was the original leader of the 'Thirteen' before mis-managing them and getting kicked out.

Stormreach only has ONE candidate willing to makes changes for us...

FRED

[Memnir]

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*This ad payed for by the Friends of Fred Coalition™.

[knghtstalkr]

Where does Fred stand on the issues?

What is Fred's military service history?

What is Fred's party affiliation?

And, I want to see news stories and pics of Fred kissing babies!!!

If yer gonna get my vote you need to show me I am not voting for the lesser of two evils!

BLACK ABBOTT in '08!!!

[Clankenbeard]

Dear Clankenbeard-
It seems that picture of you kicking Nat Gann was indeed authentic!

Yeah. I know. I said that. Oh, and there was an undoctored screenshot with me in it kicking Nat Gann's pole. Maybe you missed that.

Further research also revealed HOW the once-missing Nat Gann disappeared, thanks to the uncouth actions certain unscrupulous men, no, that's not quite the right word, dwarves under the guise of the Coin Lord's orders.

I think there's a screenshot somewhere of an Orthon biting his leg. *waves hand* These are not the dwarves you are looking for.

It appears these men, wait, dwarves, had been after Nat Gann for several years due to his continued political activities within Stormreach.

Um, how is jumping up and down on a big stick political?

His party was rallying for support for the upcoming elections - these particular elections - and said dwarven "Coin Lords" continued to hound and chase him throughout the city in attempts to persuade him to give up his free market and equilibrium symposium.

He gave up his equillibrium when his leg got bitten.

Ironically, you had no small part in crippling Nat Gann so that he might be "persuaded" to leave by the ruffians, excuse me, "coin lords," that were in the service of a certain Harbormaster.

Backwards! Zin is a puppet...um, gets his limited financial backing from the Coin Lords. They don't work for him.

If I were you, sir, I would be very worried and watching my back -- this acrobat was pushed too far, and it seems he's back to settle the odds.

He's coming back? Awesome. I'll get my Boots of Kicking +13 out of the bank.

This Message has been Authorized by Nat Gann & The New Stormreach Union.

Okay, this image has clearly been magically manipulated. What is this guy wearing? That has to be the weirdest brigandine I have ever seen. My turn...

[Memnir]

[editorial]

The only facts that matter is that Fred is the only candidate who is, and always has been, at the beck and call of Stormreach's citizens and valiant protectors. He is not some ineffective stand-about who relies on others to take care of all his problems... not like some other candidates. And he certainly does not insult their efforts by offering paltry trinkets in "reward" for their hard work. No, Fred respects the adventurers who daily risk life, limb, and safety in protection of the city by being there when they need him - not the other way around. He is the only true civil servant within the city's strong walls. Fred uses all his natural talents to help those who protect our beloved Stormreach be even better enabled to face the dangers and terrors that threaten from both within and without. What other candidate can say that? The swindler? The hotheaded kobold? The ineffectual bureaucrat?

Fred helps you, and all he asks in return is a small gem that no other in town has use of, and a small fee that is only levied so that he may afford room and board - not to mention in order to afford the outrageous taxes the Coin Lords levy upon all hard working beings.

Fred knows that helping others is the hallmark of elected officials.
A better question is - what have the other candidates done for you lately? And what have they asked of you... in return for what reward?

Fred is the only candidate who makes sense in these troubled times. Fred is the only candidate who brings reform and change. Fred is the only Mayor Stormreach needs to reach a better tomorrow for all.



*This editorial brought to you by: The Friends of Fred Coalition™.

[Lessah]

Where does Fred stand on the issues?

And, I want to see news stories and pics of Fred kissing babies!!!

I can make that happen.. in fact I thought I saw Fred on the Campaign Trail already....

[wickedzerlynda]

I say the former mayor of my fair city would be great

Kwame Kilpartick For mayor

[Clankenbeard]

Screenshot of Fred on the campaign trail. I thought non-psionic folks could only be affected by psionic blasts. But apparently mass suggestion works as well...

If you decide to trust a guy who can mess with your head, you need to question which one of you made that decision. WIN WITH ZIN!