I would like to thank all the people who helped me gain a firm grasp of the English language.
My Grandmother and a close friend of the family, both English Teachers, who found humor in the differentiation of 'can' and 'may'. "I am sorry; yes, I realize that by talking to you I am showing that I functionally am capable of emitting sound. What I meant was, "May I speak with Bob?""
My Father, critical about the darndest things. "Did you realize you said the word "umm" 17 times while speaking to me on the phone?"; "Well, no Dad, I did not. I am however 14, and it is 1989, so 'umm' has really entered the American vernacular at this point. By any chance, did you hear the part of the conversation where I mentioned I stole your car and wrecked it? No? Works for me. I promise to say 'umm' less."
Also, thank you to the rest of my family who had the good sense to attend school at some point in their lives. You helped to instill a desire in me to not appear ignorant. "wurt yu mene I nead to mak sents im jus tocking on da ddo for rum"
A big shout out to all of you, my OG's (Original Guildies)! You have made me what I am today; an adult capable of stringing together a subject and predicate, with proper punctuation. You may call it a simple sentence, but apparently I should call it an achievement!