Silly named items

[SniptheShadow]

Weird mood today, and it's dead at my job. Just sitting here feeling like I'd rather be home and finding a group to do VON 4...

Anyway,

Anyone have any ideas for silly named items in-game?

I have a few:

1) The Last Word
+3 Great Maul of Flatulence - Stinging Cloud 3 times per rest
(on a successful hit the wielder hears the sound effect of flatulence)

2) Banana Boots
(the wearer is permanentsly greased - bind on acquire)

3) Ring Their Bell
+4 Cast Iron Skillet
(on a successful hit the creature is stunned like in Stunning Blow, on a critical hit Feeblemind is cast)




Waaaaay too much time on my hands, huh? Yeah.

So...any others?

Thanks

Snip

[MissErres]

ROFLMAO!!

Thanks man, I needed a good laugh this morning.

Happy hunting!

[SniptheShadow]

ROFLMAO!!

Thanks man, I needed a good laugh this morning.

Happy hunting!

No problem.

Glad you get my sense of humor.

And thanks

Snip

[Lonewolfe]

They might as well implement your suggestions for items, because 95% of the "named" super loot in this game is a joke. And yes, with expections, that includs epic too. I love it when the named items that drop on a ratio of about 1/100 runs are so far beneath what I currently have, that I just sell them immediately. This is the classic Diablo rules. By the time you get a good drop, it makes no sense to use it. However, I will say that you can atleast hand it off to your lowbies. Then again, it takes about 1-2 days to get past lvl 6-8, so the useful life of such items are short lived to say the least. My comment is, if your going to make it soooo hard to get named items, make them worth having. Other than a few items from cipher, the bloodstone, the crucible.....the named items in this game are not even average. Rare drops should be better than normal loot, or they shouldn't be rare. I can pull **** from any chest, why wait until I roll that 100 to get something so worthless.

[Inspire]

Ohh! Lets Make A Terrible Named Item... We'll Call It ... Umm "Scarf Of Warmth" It Will Be 3 Cold Resist!(Not 5 Not 10 Not 20, Heck Not Even 30) And We'll Make It Drop Out Of A Lvl 8 Quest!


Buahahahaha!

[Lonewolfe]

how about the gauntlets from the dragon run that lets you cast flame strike.....1 time per rest. That certainly tips the scales of fairlness. I mean, with one of those, I could solo the pit fiend.

[GrayOldDruid]

+3 Vicious Shortsword of Greater Halfling Bane
(rr:Halfling)

I've actually pulled a Construct Bane RR: Warforged, so it doesn't seem too far fetched that one day, I will pull the Halfling Bane sword above.