LFM etiquette...

[Sokar6000]

Ok, so we all love the LFM tool. It's a great thing for both party leaders and PuGers.

However, I am seeing an increasing number of people "pocket declining". (that's like when the President 'pocket vetos' a bill)

I know that things happen. Groups for popular quests fill fast, especially during peak hours, and you may get a large number of people requesting to join at once, or you may not have time to update your lfm and may no longer require my class.

But what I'm trying to say is, when I request to join your group, don't just let the request sit there. Decline, send me tell saying 'sorry, I think rangers suck.' But do SOMETHING rather letting me sit there for 10+ minutes only to see 'XXX has declined your request to join his group because his group is now full.' That, in my opinion, is just bad form.

Opinions, thoughts, criticisms, flames?

[Pfamily]

We have, like any other community, people with varying levels of social skills and attitudes ranging from courteous & cheerful to rude & obnoxious. Not much we can do about that...nor would I want to really. The rude and obnoxious ones often provide the most amusing and/or absurd anecdotes.

Might be a good idea to have a button on the LFM panel where we could rescind our request to join.

Another option would be, if you get tired of waiting, to just join another group.

[MrWizard]

Ok, so we all love the LFM tool. It's a great thing for both party leaders and PuGers.

However, I am seeing an increasing number of people "pocket declining". (that's like when the President 'pocket vetos' a bill)

I know that things happen. Groups for popular quests fill fast, especially during peak hours, and you may get a large number of people requesting to join at once, or you may not have time to update your lfm and may no longer require my class.

But what I'm trying to say is, when I request to join your group, don't just let the request sit there. Decline, send me tell saying 'sorry, I think rangers suck.' But do SOMETHING rather letting me sit there for 10+ minutes only to see 'XXX has declined your request to join his group because his group is now full.' That, in my opinion, is just bad form.

Opinions, thoughts, criticisms, flames?

the sheer number of people that try to join a party that are
1- wrong class desired
2- wrong level

make it impratical to sit there and tell them why you decline them.

also, if you dcline someone for whatever reason the inevitaible 'why?' questions are then sent.
Or they continualy rejoin.

all this while you are probably fighting or afk.

so, just join, and if they don't accept, they do not...if they do let you in, they do.

[Rayzorlew]

But what I'm trying to say is, when I request to join your group, don't just let the request sit there. Decline, send me tell saying 'sorry, I think rangers suck.' But do SOMETHING rather letting me sit there for 10+ minutes only to see 'XXX has declined your request to join his group because his group is now full.' That, in my opinion, is just bad form.

Opinions, thoughts, criticisms, flames?

Actually when this happens to me, I'll wait a couple of minutes then I'll send the leader a tell.
/t ???? Do you still have a spot?
....and usually I'll get a reply back:
1. Sorry I just had a guildie log on.
2. Sorry I changed the LFM we really need a caster. (which I'll sometimes switch too.)
3. Sorry I was afk, and when I got back I just grabbed the most recent one.

I consider these all good answers, considering I've probably given them all myself.
....but to wait 10+ minutes, lol, noway......gaming time is too precious!!!

[Jaywade]

like womp I always send a tell saying still looking? you almosty always will get a response from that....now as Mr. Wizard said above I notice that when I post a LFM I get all kinds of people trying to koin that aren;t in the lvl spread or don;t meet the LFM that I posted (rangers trying to join when there is no ranger icon up) that happens a lot...

[~Jules921]

Ok, so we all love the LFM tool. It's a great thing for both party leaders and PuGers.

However, I am seeing an increasing number of people "pocket declining". (that's like when the President 'pocket vetos' a bill)

I know that things happen. Groups for popular quests fill fast, especially during peak hours, and you may get a large number of people requesting to join at once, or you may not have time to update your lfm and may no longer require my class.

But what I'm trying to say is, when I request to join your group, don't just let the request sit there. Decline, send me tell saying 'sorry, I think rangers suck.' But do SOMETHING rather letting me sit there for 10+ minutes only to see 'XXX has declined your request to join his group because his group is now full.' That, in my opinion, is just bad form.

Opinions, thoughts, criticisms, flames?

No flames here - completely agree. I'm usually the one putting up the lfm. I try to respond rather than let them just wait. Generally speaking, if more than a minute or two has gone by I begin looking for other options as I assume my request will be declined. Something better will come up and its only a game.

Jules

[Ringos]

Agreed Sokar, and that's the way I do it. If someone requests to join my group and we don't take them for some reason, I always send a Tell (assuming it's not because it filled).

[Generals]

/signed

I also agree a 'cancel request to join' option would be useful. Or like it's been said just join another group or even relog.

[Dimz]

/signed

I also agree a 'cancel request to join' option would be useful. Or like it's been said just join another group or even relog.

It seems like everyone needs someone to hold their hand.. I have had many o' times when a party is getting alot of requests, I am not going to sit there and send a tell to each person. It's a game not dodgeball in gym class. Sometimes it is "fat kid" gets picked last but sometimes its alot of things such as too many requests. If your infamous though you already know the reason your not getting declined or a polite message.

[Chaari]

Ah.. so thats how that works. Explains why I get so few replies

In general, if I want to group and open the group window I'll check for groups in my level, and send the leader a tell asking if he/she/it has room. Thats the way you do it in most of the other games I've played. The whole "Join if they're looking" idea is new to me.. so basicaly what I gather from this thread is that its not necessary to ask, just join said group and if they want you/need your class the leader will hit "yes"? Makes things alot simpler. Nice feature.

Hey.. I did say I was new


Chaari, Paladin of ?

[Sokar6000]

It seems like everyone needs someone to hold their hand.. I have had many o' times when a party is getting alot of requests, I am not going to sit there and send a tell to each person. It's a game not dodgeball in gym class. Sometimes it is "fat kid" gets picked last but sometimes its alot of things such as too many requests. If your infamous though you already know the reason your not getting declined or a polite message.

If you noticed, I acknowledged that in my original post. But when ten minutes pass, and your lfm is still sitting up there, I'm quite certain that you have not been getting to many join requests.

[Agarwaen]

There is the other side of the coin on this argument as well--although this doesn't apply to those lfm's that have been sitting for ages.

Normally when I post a group, I always send a tell if I can't accept someone, for whatever reason. Yesterday, however, I posted a shroud run and I was literally deluged with about 100 tells in less than a minute...and then they kept coming. I tried to reserve spots for a couple and send tells to others, but inevitably some people got offended that they didn't get in. A few sent rather rude tells expressing this. I'm really sorry it couldn't work out for everyone, but it was quite impossible. That happens sometimes, especially on a popular run. It would have been nice if they could have been a bit more understanding.

[Generals]

It seems like everyone needs someone to hold their hand.. I have had many o' times when a party is getting alot of requests, I am not going to sit there and send a tell to each person. It's a game not dodgeball in gym class. Sometimes it is "fat kid" gets picked last but sometimes its alot of things such as too many requests. If your infamous though you already know the reason your not getting declined or a polite message.

[edited out] ahh never mind.. I take it you don't like the idea. fair enough!

Anyway, over the years I've often thought a cancel join request w/b useful, for many reasons..

- you don't like the party makeup after you requested to join
- you want to get another character
- something better came up
- guild call
- you have to go afk
- you simply changed your mind

..etc. you get the point

[Clay]

generally I sent a tell to every join request. Mainly because, like the OP, I hate sitting there waiting... Usually I take whatever comes, unless i recognize the name. However, this courtesy is not always appreciated. Just recently, when putting together a group for Threnal elite, max lvl 9, with 2 new-to-the-game people the last spot was for a caster... As the group was not strong, and a little under level, I hoped for a caster with firewall... the first person to click join was a lvl 7 sorc... and I sent a polite tell informing him that I hoped for a caster with FW and that if no one clicked join in the next couple minutes, I would send him a tell and see if he was still free. "Don't bother. Welcome to my squelch list." Huh?

I guess being courteous is squelch worthy.

[~Jules921]

generally I sent a tell to every join request. Mainly because, like the OP, I hate sitting there waiting... Usually I take whatever comes, unless i recognize the name. However, this courtesy is not always appreciated. Just recently, when putting together a group for Threnal elite, max lvl 9, with 2 new-to-the-game people the last spot was for a caster... As the group was not strong, and a little under level, I hoped for a caster with firewall... the first person to click join was a lvl 7 sorc... and I sent a polite tell informing him that I hoped for a caster with FW and that if no one clicked join in the next couple minutes, I would send him a tell and see if he was still free. "Don't bother. Welcome to my squelch list." Huh?

I guess being courteous is squelch worthy.

Clay,

I did the same thing last week and the caster was totally cool with it. He did get to join us as I had 2 spots and someone with firewall did join. It was a decent run iirc.

Jules

[Sokar6000]

generally I sent a tell to every join request. Mainly because, like the OP, I hate sitting there waiting... Usually I take whatever comes, unless i recognize the name. However, this courtesy is not always appreciated. Just recently, when putting together a group for Threnal elite, max lvl 9, with 2 new-to-the-game people the last spot was for a caster... As the group was not strong, and a little under level, I hoped for a caster with firewall... the first person to click join was a lvl 7 sorc... and I sent a polite tell informing him that I hoped for a caster with FW and that if no one clicked join in the next couple minutes, I would send him a tell and see if he was still free. "Don't bother. Welcome to my squelch list." Huh?

I guess being courteous is squelch worthy.

There's three types of people in this game: The courteous, the incourteous, which I describe in my post, and the downright rude, which is what you describe.

I certainaly haven't squelched any of the leaders who have done this to me in the lfm. I'm not holding anything against you. But I would at least perfer to see a 'sorry, I think rangers suck' rather than just leaving me hanging.

[Delt]

I get the 'no response' till Declined-because-full notification fairly often on my deeply multiclassed characters (9bard/7barb & 8f/8rang/2rog). I get why, sure - people are even less confident of PUG MC'd characters than pure classes and common splits...and while I probably won't convince anyone of what I can and can't do until playing with them, I'd find it far less rude if they just either asked or outright declined me (because if you leave my join just sitting there, I'm tempted to send a /tell assuring I can handle a role, which is probably just a waste of time).

[juniorpfactors]

I can say for sure..that if you say "hey you got a spot" how am i supposed to know what your class breakdown is...what guild you may be affiliated with ? usually unless I know you....its the people that click to join that are taken first....those that run anon..I cant see you guild affiliation which is always a nice thing to know when your looking for a smooth run...of course I will usually pug with anyone but ..... when 12 people try sending tells and I have to spots for FTW in the shroud...make it easy and first click to join if your class looks right...or if you have an alt send a tell cause if i need 2 casters and your on another toon I will usually just keep waiting or grab the first correct fit...if your not accepted after 20 seconds send a tell ....after that move on...or put up your own lfm....groups fill extremely fast on Thelanis

jr

[AldosAC]

All my experience is based off of lower level questing, so I don't know how this translates to the higher level quests. I'm impatient, and between my twinked lowbies and a friend's, we don't need much help to get most of the popular quests started. If we can't fill the group inside of 10 minutes, we'll start the quest anyways and leave the LFM up to fill the last slot or two. So, half the time our LFM is up, we're smack dab in the middle of combat, which isn't exactly the best time to be monitoring join requests. On top of that, we frequently get join requests from the wrong classes. I'm certainly not about to explain to a Fighter why I don't want him for the last group slot when we're advertised as only looking for casters.

So, my point here, before I get too distracted, is simply that sometimes the group leader is busy. I can't imagine why you would wait 10 minutes for a response, if they don't respond to my join request in a couple of minutes, I'll either go looking for another group, or send them a tell asking if they still have a slot. If the leader isn't paying attention, a /tell is a great way to get their attention.

As for being rejected, I fail to see why it's the group leader's responsibility to explain their motives. If they don't want you to join their group, they don't want you to join. Yeah, it would be nice of them to let you know why, but I think it's rediculous to expect it. I'd like to think the group leader has more pressing concerns, like leading their group. :P

[MrWizard]

Ah.. so thats how that works. Explains why I get so few replies

In general, if I want to group and open the group window I'll check for groups in my level, and send the leader a tell asking if he/she/it has room. Thats the way you do it in most of the other games I've played. The whole "Join if they're looking" idea is new to me.. so basicaly what I gather from this thread is that its not necessary to ask, just join said group and if they want you/need your class the leader will hit "yes"? Makes things alot simpler. Nice feature.

Hey.. I did say I was new


Chaari, Paladin of ?

I seldom ever invite someone who sends tells first...I try to say 'no tells' on the lfm, but forget sometimes.
But your talk of other games kinda makes sense as to why some people do that.
I also see people who have an lfm up and says 'send tell first'. Since your 'join' button tells the class(es), level and race of your character I have no idea what kind of tell you would send someone before you hit the join button...but I guess we all have our things we like to have happen.