Games for Windows: The Official Magazine
January 2008 pg 82
Crisis on Infinite Servers by Ryan Scott
"Chicken Tenders is recruiting! We are a new guild accepting members of all levels. We have a guild bank, tabard, and lots of nice guildies. We do Battlegrounds, run instances, and quest together, and we are gonna start raiding Karazhan pretty soon. We are looking for more nice players to help the guild grow fast, and to have fun together. All are welcome! PST for info."
Chances are you've probably seen many messages like this in the general and trade chat windows of whatever MMO(s) you happen to play. Perhaps if you're a fresh-out-of-the-account-creation-screen newcomer to these sorts of games, the rush of open guild invites seems warm and welcoming. After all, you want somewhere to belong, right? Somewhere that appreciates you for you?
For jaded, grumpy, get-the-hell-off-my-vitual-lawn-you-****-newbs blowhards like me, guild invite spam is a bright red flag. Unfiltered enrollement leads to what i term "Zerg Guilds": masses of immature idiots, all with different goals and agendas, and most looking out for their own interests above all else. These guilds might mold themselves nto effective teams, but they aren't families, per se-outside of whatever nightly raid you happen to sign up for, guild chat is largely just another channel for the kids to unlease streams of profanity and hilarious Chuck Norris jokes.
Here's a story about a guild from the good old days: back in 1999, I applied for membership in a fairly infamous guild on Ultima Online's Pacific Server called The Black Hand (or BH, for short) BH had a reputation as a merciless PVP-oriented guild, with an all-for-one philosophy and a very close-knit relationship among its camparatively modest member base. As a prospective member, I underwent a weeks-long getting-to-know-you period, followed by a verbal interview (the Inquisition, we called it) to gauge the limits of an initiate's loyalty. Membership required a unanimous vote among every active guild member; a single "no" was all it took to deny an applicant-no questions asked. It was strict, effective policy that guaranteed extreme trust, dedication, and unity on an emotional level. A BH title above your head meant something. And, as my one-time guild master once succinctly noted to new members, "If you call for help in this guild, don't be surprised if like nine people show up." That's committment for committment's sake.
Nowadays, those guilds are gone. Quantity trumps quality, and every MMO from World of Warcraft to Guild Wars sends the same message, loud and clear: Smaller guilds are second-class guilds. Join the herd or get left behind. So it is that Zerg guilds mobilize predominantly for the accumulation of phat loot (the one true be-all, end-all goal), while the Balck Hands of the world-the players who stood together because they felt they'd found other people of quality with whom to spend their gaming hours-wither and die. Not racing to clear the Black Temple? That retribution Paladin over yonder's got no time to waste on you; he has epics to grind. Sure, he can hardly stand most of his 80 other guildmates (three-quarters of whom he doesn't know from Adam) . . but if you can't do anything to up his all important DPS number and they can, why should he bother joining your guild close-knit or not?
Even the guilds that craft careful mission statements and recruitment policies only parse the word "quality" in a how-good-are-your-stats manner, with little consideration for chemistry or other social intangibles. Applying to one of these organizations amounts to the text-chat equivalent of a job interview; a clinical, number-crunching, so-what-can-you-do-for-us affair. You're only worth as much as you bring to the weekly 25-man raid, and if you're not committed enough to that cause . . well, we've got plenty of other applicants in the que. next in line, please?