Warforged Pantheon

[Ghoste]

I'm having a bit of a bout of insomnia right now, so I thought I'd log onto the forums and exercise my creative juices a little.

So, this is a little summary on how this ornery toaster looks at the various faiths of Eberron.

The Becoming God: it's actual name is too sacred to mention in the presence of fleshlings, so we have formed a habit of just refering to it as The Becoming God. This is the god that any true living construct follows. If we are true to ourselves, and keep ourselves from the pollutions of the fleshlings, our souls will one day become one with this marvelous being. And yes, contrary to the blasphemies of the tin spark (see below), we do have souls.

The Fat One: Picture Fat Albert taking weight gain medicine. This is a representative conglomeration of the something or other Host. To a living construct these embody the alien desires, fantasies, and gluttonies of the fleshlings. Forgelings do not hold any particular hostility towards the Fat One or his/her various representations, but rather a sense of bewilderment. It is safe to interact with the Fat One's followers, just don't expect them to make a lot of sense.

The Skinny One: Another combine representation of a group. A group of six to be exact. These ones are just as bewildering as those of the Fat One. They epitomize all the self depricating aspects of the fleshlings: civilization turning on itself, starving itself, anger and greed for useless (to warforged in any case) baubles. Follower's of this One tend to be very un-intelligent and self-defeating in their long term goals.

The Thirsty Ones: Fleshlings who suffer from warforged envy. They twist and corrupt their beings to attain an ageless lifespan. They have an overwhelming preoccupation with the bodily fluids of other fleshlings. Very aggressive and difficult to reason with. Best approach is to just let them feast on any fleshlings you may be adventuring with: they are much easier to talk to on a full stomach. Some have been known to be very flattering towards warforged, whom they view as extremely fortunate to naturally have no lifespan.

The Wrapped Fairies: Meh, just another variation of the Thirsty Ones with some kind of mumbo jumbo about positive energy. Leave it to the fairies to find an optimistic spin on the undead, or "deathless" as they call it.

The Dragon Below: Finally, a fleshling worthy of some respect! The followers of such cults seem to be a little crazy though. Best to avoid them.

The Inspired: Thank goodness warforged don't sleep. Just look at these poor saps! Their own dreams have taken complete control over their civilization. Meh, good riddance!

The Path of Light: il-Yannah? Wait, wait, wait! This toaster doesn't really want to know any more about this god that isn't really a god conceived by dreams who took over the dreamers. Next!

The Tin Spark: Bunch of wild eyed fanatics. They think they're the only ones in the world with souls. The cataclysmic events of the Day of Fleshling Crybabies must have missed their true mark: Thrane.

Rusty: The Dark One. The Souless One. King of the Pit of Doom. He who dwells in a pit of bottomless acid in the plane of decay. The devourer of the souls of fleshling sympathizers. He and his followers have plagued Eberron for too long. The true Last War will see the Becoming God turn the evil one's pit of acid into a pit of oil, and have this evil being and his followers drowned in said pit.

[Ghoste]

Cult of the Lord of Blades: Same ends as the followers of the Becoming God, with a different approach. Have control of a semi-functional creation forge. The Becoming God will reward them for their monumental efforts to rebuild that forge, and their many other ingenious endeavors.

Cult of the Adamantine Beard: The beard is law. There is no retreat. There is only surrender to the Beard. Chuck will repopulate the world full of thick beard Americans with laser eyes. Bust out that adamantine beard. Adamantine beard powers, activate. Beard and mustachio sold seperately. They said he would hail from the lands known as Texas and bear a great beard of unknown caliber. You don't wish to challenge the Beard...etc.

[Kalanth]

* bites tongue, knowing its humor *

[Katrina]

Well written as always ghoste!