3 points for the home team!

**Weedo** · 08-29-2007, 10:20 AM

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She then responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing complete satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having any action tonight either....but at least that B!%(# knows I'm smarter than her.

**Rowanheal** · 08-29-2007, 10:28 AM

I am speechless...

I am staring at the blinking cursor wracking my mind for some witty comeback...

I am going to contest the smarter comment at a later time when my brain has recovered...

-R

**BUpcott** · 08-29-2007, 10:32 AM

I think i've heard this before. But still made me laugh again today. Nice!

**Weedo** · 08-29-2007, 10:38 AM

hehehe yeah i copied and pasted this from a blog that i read

**Rowanheal** · 08-29-2007, 10:41 AM

wow... tell me someone made this up then...

Phew... Weedo, I was worried for ya. I mean you could have come home from work and found your computer in pieces, your clothes on fire in the middle of your bed...

Oh sorry... was caught up in day-dreaming

Weedo thank you for the giggle.

-R

**Weedo** · 08-29-2007, 10:51 AM

Originally Posted by Rowanheal

wow... tell me someone made this up then...

Phew... Weedo, I was worried for ya. I mean you could have come home from work and found your computer in pieces, your clothes on fire in the middle of your bed...

Oh sorry... was caught up in day-dreaming

Weedo thank you for the giggle.

-R

who me? i'd never lol. and with my degree in biology i know all too well that theres no reaction quite like a womans reaction. am i right rowan? you little cloths igniter you *cuddle*

**cdbd3rd** · 08-29-2007, 10:54 AM

Originally Posted by Weedo

who me? i'd never lol. and with my degree in biology i know all too well that theres no reaction quite like a womans reaction. am i right rowan? you little cloths igniter you *cuddle*

Igniting clothes is one thing. Having the decency to ignite the ones you're not currently wearing... well.

**PaintHorseCowboy** · 08-29-2007, 11:00 AM

I don't remember who it was or where I saw it but, someone's signature quote said:

"Build a man a fire and you'll keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

I think that pretty much sums it up.

**Scarsgaard** · 08-29-2007, 11:03 AM

lol...

I love this joke...

Here's one... oh wait... I'll get a Yark!! Yark!! You no good

**Oeuf** · 08-29-2007, 05:44 PM

Leads to that whole, "Men are from Mars, Women are Psycho idea". Don't agree? Ask your better half how she is and she'll say "Fine". What that really means is that she's really really POed, and you have to guess why.

**Jundak** · 08-29-2007, 06:31 PM

Hehe...yep. Love women to death...I even respect 'em. I just can't bring myself to trust a thing they say or do for that very reason, Oeuf.

**Gorstag** · 08-29-2007, 06:59 PM

There is no understanding a woman. And as scarsguard said, I'd love to post more, but the sound of "Yark Yark" scares me.

**sigtrent** · 08-29-2007, 07:34 PM

Well, the real truth of the matter is you generaly can't counter emotion with reason. Emotion is what it is and you just have to deal with it on its own terms most of the time. Women just happen to be more emotional much of the time.

I can't say I always remember this, but it's something to keep in mind.

**Oeuf** · 08-29-2007, 11:37 PM

Estrogen is one scary drug

**5footStep** · 08-30-2007, 02:48 AM

silly boyz.....

yark yark,,, Oh no you Dizzafrabadidn't! *snap*

and in a certain person's immortal words.... I am SOOOOOOO AFK now.

**Uamhas** · 08-30-2007, 09:12 AM

Originally Posted by Rowanheal

I am speechless...

I am staring at the blinking cursor wracking my mind for some witty comeback...

I am going to contest the smarter comment at a later time when my brain has recovered...

-R

No joke: for a minute, yes a full 60 seconds (maybe more) the only thing I could think was... He's been feebleminded.
QUICK WEEDO!!! /DEATH before they change it and you discover you're really John Bobbit!

**gorloch** · 08-30-2007, 09:14 AM

Originally Posted by Gorstag

There is no understanding a woman. And as scarsguard said, I'd love to post more, but the sound of "Yark Yark" scares me.

What makes me laugh about this is he just got married.

PIXA

**smodge13** · 08-30-2007, 10:17 AM

wow

this guy is my new idol.

genius.

i'm getting ideas now ^_^

how long you reckon now before i'm single.

**Jundak** · 08-30-2007, 10:39 AM

I'd just like to point out something all too familiar, but funny nonetheless...has anyone else noticed that when a guy gets a bit of revenge, he's just a lousy person in the eyes of of women. But when a woman does something to that effect, you hear a bunch of "You go girl!" 's from the peanut gallery?

Hypocrites...all yous!

**BUpcott** · 08-30-2007, 10:50 AM

Originally Posted by Jundak

I'd just like to point out something all too familiar, but funny nonetheless...has anyone else noticed that when a guy gets a bit of revenge, he's just a lousy person in the eyes of of women. But when a woman does something to that effect, you hear a bunch of "You go girl!" 's from the peanut gallery?

Hypocrites...all yous!

(Tell) Jundak tells you, 'I am a lousy person.'

Thread: 3 points for the home team!

Thread Tools

Search Thread

Display

3 points for the home team!

ummm

dear lord

Posting Permissions