Kindness in reading emergency please

[chewwook]

Dear Sir Quarion,
Good day and compliments. This letter will definitely come to you as a huge surprise, but I implore you to take the time to go through it carefully as the decision you make will go off a long way to determine the future and continued existence of the entire members of my clan.
Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Spuddy, the wife of the late head of state and commander in chief of the armed forces of the federal republic of Stormreach who died on the 8th of Lharvion 998 YK.
My ordeal started immediately after my husband's death on the morning of 8th Lharvion 998 TK, and the subsequent take over of government by the last administration. The present governing of the Twelve is determined to portray all the good work of my late husband in a bad light and have gone as far as confiscating all my late husband's assets, properties, freezing our accounts both within and outside Stormreach. As I am writing this letter to you, my son Spuds is undergoing questioning with the government. All these measures taken by past/present government is just to gain international recognition.
I and the entire members of my family have been held incommunicado since the death of my husband, hence I seek your indulgence to assist us in securing these funds. We are not allowed to see or discuss with anybody. Few occasions I have tired traveling abroad through alternative means all failed.
It is in view of this I have mandated SPUDS, who has been assisting the family to run around the Market on so many issues to act on behalf of the family concerning the substance of this letter. He has the full power of attorney to execute this transaction with you.
My late husband had/has Eighty Million PP , two wounding/puncturing rapiers and a club of the holy flame specially preserved and well packed in trunk boxes of which only my husband and I knew about. It is packed in such a way to forestall just anybody having access to it. It is this sum that I seek your assistance to get out of Stormreach as soon as possible before the present civilian government finds out about it and confiscate it just like they have done to all our assets.
I implore you to please give consideration to my predicament and help a widow in need.
May the Silver Flame bless you!
Your faithfully,
Spuddy Fraggle
N/B: Please contact Spuds on this account for further briefing and modalities.

[Falco_Easts]

Huh?
Gonna take a stab and say you deleted a character with items attached?

[Strakeln]

Dear Spuddy,

I wish to inform you of something most others are aware. Two things, actually. First and foremost, QwijyMart can save you money on all your consumable needs - from a convenient location, even your mailbox!

Second, there are many different ways to bring back the departed. Raise your dead husband, already!

Alternatively, if your husband would just push the "release" button, all will be resolved.

Sincerely,
Qwijy

[chewwook]

Best wishes in our times,
I will mail a cashiers check for the values of 80 million plattinums for which you shall send me the balance after having removed the your share of the amounts. PLease in care of the Holy Flame withdraw the funds from the House of Kundarak with all swiftness.
Yours,
Spuddy

[Cadaia]

Omigoodness. I can't believe people don't recognize this as a spoof on that phishing scam that hits your email boxes about once a week!
ROFLMAO

[chewwook]

Forgiveness,
Please no ignore the thoguht that my desire is less than virtuous. Mine five children who without the understanding of you will not be able to eat or educate need of the special deal you will complete. PLease without your assistance of urgence we will have no way to get the plats.

[Kalari]

LMAO this is priceless reminds me of all them scam mails I get with my uncle from Nigeria who died in a horrible car accident..funny most of my family hail from NY or Texas but im sure if I did have an uncle out there hes as broke as the rest of us ^_^

[Falco_Easts]

Omigoodness. I can't believe people don't recognize this as a spoof on that phishing scam that hits your email boxes about once a week!
ROFLMAO

Ahh, that would be it then. Normally just delete those that get past my filter without reading them.

[BanzaiBill]

Most extra awesomeness upon you and your family, oh Spudsy.

I am sure, I to you could wire some platinnums, for the helping of retrieving you moneys. First, though, must I haves some similar items to those that you mentioend, like such being the puncturing rapiers. If you still have one, then the blessings of Stormreach be upon you, for I will, upon receipt in a bank account of my choosing, forward you the fees for which you have long suffered.

His most excellency, the bankyr of Aurum, with relations to the royal family of Stormreach,

Banzai

[Uska]

I hate getting these in real life and hate to see them here where I come to relax, not even mildly ammused.

[Leyoni]

PM me so that I can give you my account information and password. I so want the plat and loot.

Thx in advance....

Leyoni the Gullible

[Zedim]

I hate getting these in real life and hate to see them here where I come to relax, not even mildly ammused.

For the love of all that's precious and good, will you please lighten up??

[Geonis]

For the love of all that's precious and good, will you please lighten up??

I'm guessin' somebody sent their account number......

[Uska]

For the love of all that's precious and good, will you please lighten up??

Never when something annoys me I let it be known and what do you care if I complain noone asked you. I have been here long enough little stupid things annoy me. Besides if it was funny I would go along but its not even a mild chuckle

[JacknCoke]

*Return To Sender*

[chewwook]

Many thanks upon you for moving this to another area, similar to the way you do with the real things
Sending out all w/p rapiers now. oops! just like previous post- returned to sender! PLease cash cashiers cheque and send plat on!

[Kistilan]

Never when something annoys me I let it be known and what do you care if I complain noone asked you. I have been here long enough little stupid things annoy me. Besides if it was funny I would go along but its not even a mild chuckle

You and 6 Billion other people live on this planet and have been somewhere long enough as well that stupid little things could annoy them. It's not oppressing you though in this spoof. Do the higher thing and don't waste your time posting or reading things that do not amuse or interest you. You're a sensible person -- I know you got it in you.

[Vardak]

Never when something annoys me I let it be known and what do you care if I complain noone asked you. I have been here long enough little stupid things annoy me. Besides if it was funny I would go along but its not even a mild chuckle

It's simply amazing how some would criticize your comment, somehow suggesting you should simply ignore what annoys you. Oh why oh why are they simply unable to follow their own advise.

[Zedim]

Never when something annoys me I let it be known and what do you care if I complain noone asked you. I have been here long enough little stupid things annoy me. Besides if it was funny I would go along but its not even a mild chuckle

Yeah? And noone asked you what your bitter, falsely self important, narcissistic opinion was, either. It wasn't funny to you. That in no way whatsoever at all is the deciding factor in whether or not it was actually funny to others.