Grouping with others is not easy as a newbie.

[Vinven]

You find a group, and they expect you to know exactly where to go to enter the dungeon, where everything is in the dungeon, etc.

Also everyone just runs full speed getting way ahead of you, instant killing everything, so that you never even get to swing your sword at a monster.

It's kind of frustrating. I don't know the dungeons well enough to solo most of them, also soloing is kind of boring and I end up getting lost easy.

I spent like half an hour trying to find a dungeon entrance in a huge open zone, with them saying go west or south etc meanwhile the dungeon is already done.

And there are so many quests people are doing which is just running around in maze like areas for an hour where I just stand there feeling useless.

Everyone is doing reaper 1 and 2+ and so my attacks and spells feel completely ineffective and I randomly die instantly all the time from surprise reapers.

Sorry just some ranting I needed to get out.

[Loholt-UK]

You're quite right and your ranting is justified. The game is populated by multiple cliques of people who have played the game for years. Due to the True Resurrection element of the game you can't even compete with these players until you have a good few years of grinding under your belt. It's tough and I don't know what the solution is, sorry.

[Nickodeamous]

I totally get where you are coming from. Ive played for years and have amassed past lives and a decent amount of reaper points, so plowing through dungeons in s fully loaded and experienced group is easy for me. What you probably should realize is that r1 and r2 are usually used for people with the same type of background that i come from and that they are usually on xp pots, hence the blazing speed they want to do the dungeon. There are definitely cliques. You have your raiders that stay at 30, your TR groups (those speedy pugs that fly through dungeons, your guildy groups that only run with their guilds, and your rxp runners, who run high reapers for rxp, ans only cause they can.

Newbies have a tough time fitting in here nowadays. Everyone assumes you fit into one of the categories above, but you may not, and veteran players sometimes get impatient. I would put an lfm up asking for help and stating you are new and need help understanding the dungeon. You will probably get a few people that are willing to help out, and may even find a guild this way.

Good luck to you!

Nico

[Gniewomir]

I do agree playerbase is a bit unfriendly nowadays and i could give few more examples. Last days im farming some favor and it's pretty hard to find someone who will join party just for 10 seconds to open quest on elite, sometimes i wait hour or two to find someone to open it (yeah, i could run n/h/e, but honestly i prefer to read a book and leave ddo in background rather than waste time doing the same stuff 3 times). And i still remember when there was no reset button on wilderness and there was a lot of people joining other ppl party just to reset stance for them. But honestly i don't think finding entrance is so hard.

Anyway, even if you dont know wilderness and you haven't discovered anything you got entrances marked on blank map and for most of the quests path is pretty simple and straightforward (there're few exceptions like CoF). In quest journal there's always pointed out where to "enter" so just look for correct place on map and run there. My experience tells me usually people not being able to find entrance are those too lazy to actually make some effort to find it. When i'm buying new pack i always run it alone for a first time, just to learn it. If you're not able to solo at level, run heroic elite with lvl 30 character. And you can always open wiki page and look for path, or at least thats what i would do if i wouldn't have any clue where to go.

My personal best is guy lost for almost hour in gianthold wild. There were people running inches from him, there were people trying to guide him and he ignored all of them and just run random directions, then blamed party for being unhelpful.

On the other hand common mistake is not admitting you're new. I saw many people messing up quests cause they didnt knew them and at the end admitting they didn't knew it. If you say you're new usually nobody will give you any important duty, so you can just follow the others and watch what is happening. Might be a bit boring, but if you don't know anything it's pretty obvious nobody will give you important job, so there're two options for you: tag along or run alone once or twice to learn it. It's like driving a car - either you know how to drive or you have theoretical knowledge and you can learn with instructor. But if you're too lazy to learn how to drive and too lazy too learn theory before trying - nobody will let you drive a car and it's just entirely on you.

Not being able to swing a sword at mob is something you won't be able to avoid. 90% of players in game are vets and there's no way for you to catch up with them in lower reaper content and in higher reaper content (if you're new) you'll die 10 times before you'll get close enough to mob to swing your sword. You might try to bring friends to game or look for static 1st life group, but if you use in game grouping - no way to avoid that.

[Mandelia]

DDO has evolved into little more than a patreon account. They have no interest in bringing in or catering to new players. They have a set number of addicted players with enough money to keep them going, probably more akin to a web-cam stripper actually and her 'kings of the room'. Since there is no end game or really any cohesive story concept, they have established an ever growing set of ways to keep players grinding sideways for ego and more ego. A new player can't possibly jump into this game and expect most playing it still to empathize, much less understand that it takes a great deal of reading and effort to know the mechanics of the game especially when many of the rules go unspoken except for some random forum post buried in some random section years ago and a wiki that is terribly out of date. I've likened this game to getting a doctorate in the level of information you need to know and the difficulty it is to acquire. And since the rules constantly change it is hard to tell what is what unless you actually play the game for a decade and feel it like a second skin.

So good luck and run far away from this game if you can if you want to actually get anywhere. Their business model seems based on driving their players insane and invest too much time to leave.

[TedSandyman]

You find a group, and they expect you to know exactly where to go to enter the dungeon, where everything is in the dungeon, etc.

Also everyone just runs full speed getting way ahead of you, instant killing everything, so that you never even get to swing your sword at a monster.

It's kind of frustrating. I don't know the dungeons well enough to solo most of them, also soloing is kind of boring and I end up getting lost easy.

I spent like half an hour trying to find a dungeon entrance in a huge open zone, with them saying go west or south etc meanwhile the dungeon is already done.

And there are so many quests people are doing which is just running around in maze like areas for an hour where I just stand there feeling useless.

Everyone is doing reaper 1 and 2+ and so my attacks and spells feel completely ineffective and I randomly die instantly all the time from surprise reapers.

Sorry just some ranting I needed to get out.

All true.

But it is a pretty awesome game if you can find some people to play with at about your same level.

Learning where those details about the dungeons is the most fun; where to go, what to do, how to finish, the best way to stay alive, hidden optionals. Figuring those things out for myself, and with my friends who didn't know everything, was some of the most fun parts of this game for me early on and I miss it. I remember finding the skeletal mage option in Sacrifices and just being awed that I had run the quest so many times and didn't even know it was there. I absolutely NEVER miss that optional to this day when I run that quest.

Unfortunately, most of those who have been around for a long time and have run those quests so many times that they are considered boring and a nuisance. These dungeons are something to be gotten through as fast as possible for the biggest XP/second ratio.

The game is all about zerging the most XP in the shortest amount of time. It's about learning where to stand and not get killed while you wipe out the monsters and which monsters you can just run past.

The wonder of Dungeons and Dragons is gone for those people and it is really and truly all about being the most powerful being in existence.

I often solo the game and when I do I take my time, smell the flowers, and usually do all of the optionals. It is the only way I can actually enjoy the game anymore.

So, your not alone in your criticisms. Many of us older players feel the same on a lot of the things you list. A lot of the older players who feel like I do have stopped playing for those very reasons.

But my suggestion to you would be to put up a party request (Looking for More or LFM) to find a newbie friendly guild and try to play with newer players only. Others can probably give you advice to speed you along, but you will be missing 90% of what D&D is all about, the exploration and the wonder, if you don't learn the ins and outs yourself.

Of course if you just want to hang out with the most advanced players and be the most powerful being in existence, then get ready to learn the real meaning of zerg and, in my opinion, true boredom.

It is a great game and really captures the essence of D&D when you are new.

[Rauven]

Vinven, if you're on the Cannith server send me a message. I don't mind going slow, showing people the way, and I generally don't play reaper (I like to play stealthy characters and SSG doesn't support stealth in reaper).

[Crazeyred]

I have the same issue I'm on Thelanis have 21 toons different levels .. Was away from the game just at 5 years my 2 mains are in a nice guild but I also end up Solo with hirelings.. But I also have toons on every server..
Happy Gaming.. :D:D

[SirValentine]

You find a group, and they expect you to know exactly where to go to enter the dungeon, where everything is in the dungeon, etc.

Also everyone just runs full speed getting way ahead of you, instant killing everything, so that you never even get to swing your sword at a monster.
...
also soloing is kind of boring and I end up getting lost easy.
...
I spent like half an hour trying to find a dungeon entrance in a huge open zone, with them saying go west or south etc meanwhile the dungeon is already done.

And there are so many quests people are doing which is just running around in maze like areas for an hour where I just stand there feeling useless.

Everyone is doing reaper 1 and 2+ and so my attacks and spells feel completely ineffective and I randomly die instantly all the time from surprise reapers.
...
It's kind of frustrating.


You are correct that all those things happen, and are frustrating.

If you're careful about what kind of groups you join, you can avoid some of this. Sadly, DDO's player base isn't what it once was, so your options aren't huge.



I don't know the dungeons well enough to solo most of them


This, though, I have to disagree with. You don't need to know them already. Being forced to figure them out on your own is a great way to learn them! Once you learn them, then you'd have a lot less trouble finding quests, keeping up in quests, just standing around while others solve mazes/puzzles in quests; instead you'd get there sooner, know where to go, and know how to help.

People talk about the power gap between new characters and multi-TR-ed characters, and it certainly does exist. But the knowledge gap between new players and players who have gained extensive game knowledge is much more significant most of the time.

[Mofus]

It can be frustrating for sure, you should try to join a guild that has people who are willing to show you the ropes. Also, it's a good idea to do a little research before going into areas you are not familiar with such as slayer zones with quests. The ddo wiki is a good place to do the research. They have maps and info about the quests. I used to keep a tablet handy so that I could look things up while I played. Worst case scenario, explore those areas on your own with a hireling so that you can get familiar with the terrain.DDo is going on what 14 years now, people who have been playing for years take it for granted that everyone else has as well. Maybe let people know you are new to the game when you hit their lfm and that you need some help getting to the quest. Any way's, welcome to the game and I hope you have an enjoyable time here.

[Ashlayna]

You find a group, and they expect you to know exactly where to go to enter the dungeon, where everything is in the dungeon, etc.

Also everyone just runs full speed getting way ahead of you, instant killing everything, so that you never even get to swing your sword at a monster.

It's kind of frustrating. I don't know the dungeons well enough to solo most of them, also soloing is kind of boring and I end up getting lost easy.

I spent like half an hour trying to find a dungeon entrance in a huge open zone, with them saying go west or south etc meanwhile the dungeon is already done.

And there are so many quests people are doing which is just running around in maze like areas for an hour where I just stand there feeling useless.

Everyone is doing reaper 1 and 2+ and so my attacks and spells feel completely ineffective and I randomly die instantly all the time from surprise reapers.

Sorry just some ranting I needed to get out.

What server are you on?

[PsychoBlonde]

People talk about the power gap between new characters and multi-TR-ed characters, and it certainly does exist. But the knowledge gap between new players and players who have gained extensive game knowledge is much more significant most of the time.

And very often people don't even TRY to overcome it. They'd rather complain than learn.

I play with newbies all the time--I made a guild for newbies to join on Thelanis--and the difference between people who make an effort and people who don't is VERY clear and ABSOLUTELY night-and-day. With Hardcore running down I'm also running around tons of baby toons that have no past lives or anything like that, and most of them do just fine. Heck, I literally started a f2p account to do a show on playing the game completely f2p and I was out-killing long-term vets in Reaper quests before I'd finished my FIRST life. Knowledge is EVERYTHING in this game.

Instead of running around the wilderness lost and making people give you instructions while they wait for you, have you tried *looking up the map online*? Have you considered familiarizing yourself with the public areas so you don't have to be TOLD where everything is? You are on a computer that has internet access. There is not one single thing about this game that is a secret. It's all EASILY accesible.

Yeah, it's hard for newbies to find groups--because if your playstyle is to turn your brain off and dump all responsibility for knowing what the heck is going on on other people, the experienced players will avoid you like the plague. They're here to have fun in their free time, not babysit you while you flop around and complain that nobody is doing your thinking for you.

If people aren't joining your groups, use that time to:

1. Visit every public area in the game and learn how they connect.
2. Run wilderness exploration areas to find all the explorers. Once you find all of them, the map will be perma-cleared and you'll be able to see where you're going.
3. Learn how to use the Adventure Log (the L button by default) to highlight a quest so that the entrance door will flash.

I've had three family members join this game cold (no clue where anything was or how ANYTHING in the game worked) and all of them could find their way to quests without any particular difficulty within the first week. Granted, it's easier if you've got a guild airship to act as a hub, but the game really just ain't that big.

[Drachmoril]

You're quite right and your ranting is justified. The game is populated by multiple cliques of people who have played the game for years. Due to the True Resurrection element of the game you can't even compete with these players until you have a good few years of grinding under your belt. It's tough and I don't know what the solution is, sorry.

Do not be disheartened by this! While the gap between old players and new is still quite large, it has been SIGNIFICANTLY reduced lately.

The old difference used to be in raw power - people with dozens of past lives would be far stronger than your first life.

Now, a FIRST-LIFE character can do epic elite raiding at level cap. All you need is good gear... which, unfortunately requires access to newer content. I still don't like that "you have to own Ravenloft, or Sharn" is the answer... but it's better than needing 12 years to catch up with the veterans.

Gear will close 75% of the power gap between you and other players. The rest is all due to knowledge. You're right... these players have such knowledge of the quests, that it's like muscle memory. But you're also right in saying it's more fun to player with others than alone! Here's what I've done to help with this problem:

Create an lfm stating explicitly "(Normal/Hard/Elite) Runs, No zerging! All welcome". Try to group with other new players. Invite others you see, join lfms below reaper difficulty, etc. It REALLY helps if you can find a welcoming guild with many players willing to join you for more casual, fun content.

[Vinven]

What server are you on?

Khyber, I am on Khyber.

[Saekee]

when you join groups like that, they are hosting the lfm to help you, knowing that you are practically piking. In a way, it is nice of them. Let them know you are new and lost.

If you post your own lfm stating that you are new, and need help but want to take the quest slowly, you might get other new players or emiritus vets

[Xanthrawl]

when you join groups like that, they are hosting the lfm to help you, knowing that you are practically piking. In a way, it is nice of them. Let them know you are new and lost.

If you post your own lfm stating that you are new, and need help but want to take the quest slowly, you might get other new players or emiritus vets


Pretty much this.

This game is old. It has never had the advertisement it should. New players have ALWAYS been rare, except immediately after it went F2P.

If you don't make it known that you are new, people will assume you're not. If someone joins one of my LFMs, about the most they can expect is a share and a link to ddowiki if they need help finding the quest. I'm already in progress, and don't have the time or patience to try to Help Desk describe where to go so you can run out to Chains of Flame.

As others have said, don't feel obligated to run on Reaper like the vets do. Learn the quest on casual if you have to. Next time you run that quest, you'll be much more prepared and able to contribute more. You'll still get vastly out killed by vets with literally hundreds of past lives and best in slot gear. Unfortunately there's not much that can be done about that other than not run with these power toons.

[nokowi]

You find a group, and they expect you to know exactly where to go to enter the dungeon, where everything is in the dungeon, etc.

Also everyone just runs full speed getting way ahead of you, instant killing everything, so that you never even get to swing your sword at a monster.

It's kind of frustrating. I don't know the dungeons well enough to solo most of them, also soloing is kind of boring and I end up getting lost easy.

I spent like half an hour trying to find a dungeon entrance in a huge open zone, with them saying go west or south etc meanwhile the dungeon is already done.

And there are so many quests people are doing which is just running around in maze like areas for an hour where I just stand there feeling useless.

Everyone is doing reaper 1 and 2+ and so my attacks and spells feel completely ineffective and I randomly die instantly all the time from surprise reapers.

Sorry just some ranting I needed to get out.

My advice is to initially play the game solo or with friends who are also new to the game. The play experience will be much better. Ask questions here when you want tips or builds.

You can post your server if you are looking for someone to slow down and run at your pace.

[Ashlayna]

Khyber, I am on Khyber.

Rats, I don't have any toons there. If you had toons on Orien, I'd suggest that you contact me on Tarlona there, I have to log her everyday to break down gear for crafting, so I'd see a mail at some point during the day, and could invite you to our newbie friendly guild, and if need be, roll a toon to help you out.

[fatherpirate]

The OP has many valid points.

Reapers were a mistake.

It would have been FAR BETTER to have spent the time creating
randomness and physical diversity (random map changes), (monster
and trap changes) in each dungeon run to give each dungeon
more play-ability and challenge.

Reapers were laziness and they have completely changed the base game
game doing A LOT more harm than good.

Reapers reinforce a very small number of builds being 'viable', and
demand heavy meta-gaming (complete knowledge of dungeon layout
in advance). It also promotes, to some extent, zerging and kiting
EVERYTHING.

It basically turned Dungeons and Dragons Online into
Kite and Zerg Online.

Group play in game will never improve until Reapers is REPLACED
with a better system.

[Enoach]

I understand the OPs point of view. I also agree finding groups of people that have similar goals improves the experience.

Now, for me the problem with Reaper is that it is an increase in XP/Min when you reach that point.

Reaper was not designed for new players it was designed for those that have some experience under their belt.

-----
Now it is important to communicate when you join a party that you are new. This can help. The OPs experience of still searching for a quest 30 minutes after joining seems like a bad experience. As others have pointed out sometimes running these in a group of friends the first time helps because you get to experience the quest. There are guilds out there that can help with this experience.

Also, as a new player don't be deterred running a quest on the Normal difficulty. Also, don't be afraid to put up an LFM, use the memo to indicate you are a new player looking for others "learning" quests. This could even get you linked up with other new players.

[SpartanKiller13]

when you join groups like that, they are hosting the lfm to help you, knowing that you are practically piking. In a way, it is nice of them. Let them know you are new and lost.

If you post your own lfm stating that you are new, and need help but want to take the quest slowly, you might get other new players or emiritus vets

It's not my usual, but in the past month I was farming WPM for a Spark (which I got, whoo!) and I was literally posting a 20-30 LFM as "come pike and hit the end chest" while running R3-5. Plenty of people joined, some ran, some didn't. Plenty of not-legendary-reaper-ready toons joined too :) but they all knew what they were getting into, and rez scrolls are cheap :cool:

Post a LFM, state what you're after (flower-sniffing, super-zerg, farming XYZ, whatever), and go for it! If you join someone's group you're doing their thing, but if they join your group they should be doing yours (and if they don't, boot them after a quest or two lol).

[Splunge]

This seems like an odd post from someone who has been posting on the forums for over a decade, but OK...


You find a group, and they expect you to know exactly where to go to enter the dungeon,

As PsychoBlonde pointed out, everything is online. When I was new, I always made sure I knew where the quest was when I joined a group. It's not that hard. Others are playing for their own fun. If you want them to be more considerate of you, you need to reciprocate.


where everything is in the dungeon, etc.

That's because almost everyone has run everything many, many times, so the odds are greatly in favor of everyone in the group knowing the quest. Have you tried letting the leader know that you haven't run it before? If you send a tell to the leader saying something like, "I've never run this before. Do you mind if I join?" most people will take a little bit of time to point things out along the way. And if the group is running dailies or something else that's just for xp/min, the leader will likely tell you that and you'll know to avoid the group.


Also everyone just runs full speed getting way ahead of you, instant killing everything, so that you never even get to swing your sword at a monster.

It's kind of frustrating. I don't know the dungeons well enough to solo most of them, also soloing is kind of boring and I end up getting lost easy.

I certainly understand why this is no fun for you. I mostly soloed in the beginning because I wanted to sniff the flowers.

What I don't understand is why you don't want to take the time to learn the quest. Playing dungeons for the first time is by far the most fun I have in this game. Even after running some dungeons 50 times, I still smile when I get to certain parts that were particularly memorable the first time I ran them. The first couple of times I run a quest, I always solo it at a level that offers a challenge, usually with a rogue so that I can unlock everything and find all of the secret doors. I'll even try out raids on my own first, even though I usually don't get very far. (I found it amusing that the beginning dialog in KT changes when you keep dying and restarting. Most people in the game probably haven't even seen that.)


I spent like half an hour trying to find a dungeon entrance in a huge open zone, with them saying go west or south etc meanwhile the dungeon is already done.

And there are so many quests people are doing which is just running around in maze like areas for an hour where I just stand there feeling useless.

Everyone is doing reaper 1 and 2+ and so my attacks and spells feel completely ineffective and I randomly die instantly all the time from surprise reapers.

Sorry just some ranting I needed to get out.

It sounds like you need to find some others who are at your ability/knowledge level and group with them. Joining a newbie friendly guild and reading the wiki would help. You'll have a lot more fun.

[fatherpirate]

I understand the OPs point of view. I also agree finding groups of people that have similar goals improves the experience.

Now, for me the problem with Reaper is that it is an increase in XP/Min when you reach that point.

Reaper was not designed for new players it was designed for those that have some experience under their belt.

-----
Now it is important to communicate when you join a party that you are new. This can help. The OPs experience of still searching for a quest 30 minutes after joining seems like a bad experience. As others have pointed out sometimes running these in a group of friends the first time helps because you get to experience the quest. There are guilds out there that can help with this experience.

Also, as a new player don't be deterred running a quest on the Normal difficulty. Also, don't be afraid to put up an LFM, use the memo to indicate you are a new player looking for others "learning" quests. This could even get you linked up with other new players.

Catch 22
New players die in Reapers (unless they hide at entrance) every time. (no fun for them)
other option ---> find a group not running Reapers
(with exception of Hardcore Server) number of groups not running Reapers ---> NONE

New player quits
(unless they are solo minded and never bothered to try and group)

Reapers does not bring in new players, it sends them packing.

[Enoach]

Catch 22
New players die in Reapers (unless they hide at entrance) every time. (no fun for them)
other option ---> find a group not running Reapers
(with exception of Hardcore Server) number of groups not running Reapers ---> NONE

New player quits
(unless they are solo minded and never bothered to try and group)

Reapers does not bring in new players, it sends them packing.

Well the "no groups running other then reaper" is one of those fallacies people keep bringing up. But as I pointed out, you don't see a group you want to join, putting up an LFM is a way to let all the others that also want to quest in the same manner know there are people. Many times the lack of LFMs is because people are not putting up the LFM, thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of lack of LFMs they are interested in joining or groups that they would find to be fun running in.

Also, the reason I know not everyone is running reaper is because I don't run reaper on everything and I put up LFMs that actually fill and groups have fun.

Reaper wasn't designed to bring in new players - its intention was to keep existing players.

[Mizyrlou]

Grouping as a newbie's a problem in just about every MMO I've been in. At least here's not like in WoW where I've seen the group end up vote-kicking someone for not going fast enough.

When I started playing DDO before it went f2p, there'd be some groups already zerging along like they had a XP per second goal to hit. Yeah, you'd level at a good clip but that was part of what burned me out to where I only returned to the game last year. With that much time passed and the amount of game changes, I felt very much like a totally green newbie coming back. I'd skimmed over the wiki and I was expecting everyone would've gone through multiple reincarnations, used a near library of stat/skill tomes, and was geared out the wazoo to where I felt that if I tried to group, I'd be asked why am I running a bank alt through quests.

Happily, I was wrong. There are newbies and players with first life characters out there who are happy to group up. You do have to be upfront that you're new and want to take things slow and expect that for some, that's enough for them not to want to group up. You will eventually get groups. Make sure to use the wiki because it's just as much of a resource as stocking up on pots and wands before going into a quest. I'm also partial to 'paying it forward' of as you get helped along as a newbie, make sure to help out other newbies.

Also remember other factors like busy times on your server which also factor in ease of getting a group. In my case because of when I can play, I usually solo during the week but will group on the weekends.

[cupajoe]

Khyber, I am on Khyber.

I think that I ran with you last weekend. I think we did some Vale quests on R1. Sorry if we went fast. Saturday and Sunday mornings are guild quest times and we do tend to go fast. Most of us only have a few hours to quest and have been playing the game for years, so yeah, when we get together we tend to zerg most content. Most of my guildies (and myself) are willing to help and to go slow on a one on one basis. Look up Band of Skulls members (especially on weekdays) and explain that you need some help or would like to go slow. If we can do it (time permitting), we will help. We certainly won't leave you stranded.

Hope to see you again in game!

[Talam]

As others have said, set up your own LFM and specify that you're new and looking to learn the dungeon. If I have time I'll always join these type of groups to flower sniff and teach. Everyone has to learn. The problem may be that I don't always have the time, or I received a pot from my dice rolls and don't want to waste it. Bottom line, if you join someone else's group you're probably going to be left behind. I know it's not what you want to do/hear, but you'll be happier if you do your own LFM and hopefully there are others out there like you or that will be willing to go at your pace.

[Loholt-UK]

playing dungeons for the first time is by far the most fun i have in this game.

qft

[Anuulified]

Or just do what my 10 year old did last year. Play everything on normal, learning your way around and having fun. Went 1 to 30 in a few weeks, so I bought him ravenloft and sharn.

[ValariusK]

I get the impression that the original poster wants to group with others and feel useful when doing so, useful enough that the other members don't begrudge the questions---where is this quest, how do I get there in the explorer zone, etc.
I'm probably not the sort of LFM he wants to join, because I nearly always post an LFM after I've started a quest or immediately prior---translation, I don't wait around for people to join before I start. That means I'm pretty much always being interrupted when you click join and ask where the quest is, etc. The problem is, the number of lfms isn't usually in surplus, so lots of people in his boat wind up joining groups like the ones I post, even though I tend to use words like 'fast moving' or 'quick run' which are the antithesis of the group style he'd probably prefer. But that is what it is. Here's what he can do on either end of the issue. Most of the player base is pretty forgiving if you show an inclination to want to get better. The first thing he can do is work on requiring less focus from the group leader. That is easily accomplished by learning the geography of the game. It isn't that complicated. In many cases, you can ask for a share of the quest which will paint the location of the quest entrance on your map. The ddo wiki also has maps that will help a lot. In general though, if a quest is forming a group before starting, those are the ones you should try to join when you're unfamiliar with the quest or where it is. The LFM will show you where the people in the group are. If they're all in the quest or mostly in the quest, they'll be less willing to guide you there.
The other aspect for a new player is to try to become more useful so that players are more willing to overlook any inconveniences you might cause them. If you want to be immediately useful in an MMO where you're really new, the answer is the same in every MMO I've ever seen----play a support class. A brand spanking new healing domain cleric can be very useful even in high skull reapers even slightly underlevelled. Why is that? Well, in every game I've ever seen, pen&paper or MMO, support classes are overpowered, and not just a little bit. Why? Because they have to be or nobody will play them. Ordinary human beings don't mentally value an ability that gives +X to every member of your party as being worth +X * Number of members of your party. No, they barely rate it as +X, which is what it would give you when soloing. Group friendly abilities as such are bought (to use an old champions/hero system metaphor) at an extreme discount. Bear that in mind.

[Tchtutax]

You find a group, and they expect you to know exactly where to go to enter the dungeon, where everything is in the dungeon, etc.

Also everyone just runs full speed getting way ahead of you, instant killing everything, so that you never even get to swing your sword at a monster.

It's kind of frustrating. I don't know the dungeons well enough to solo most of them, also soloing is kind of boring and I end up getting lost easy.

I spent like half an hour trying to find a dungeon entrance in a huge open zone, with them saying go west or south etc meanwhile the dungeon is already done.

And there are so many quests people are doing which is just running around in maze like areas for an hour where I just stand there feeling useless.

Everyone is doing reaper 1 and 2+ and so my attacks and spells feel completely ineffective and I randomly die instantly all the time from surprise reapers.

Sorry just some ranting I needed to get out.

Dude, I think the best advice anyone can give you is to not try to keep up with them. When you first play DDO, it's totally fun and awesome... every quest and object in the game is a shiny new object. You can pick up a +4 steel longsword and replace your +2 steel longsword and still get excited as your damage output grows by +2. You'll struggle with puzzles for an hour and experience the achievement you get when you solve them. You'll struggle to get your first million platinum. You'll die a lot in quest ending ways that are embarrassing. You'll still be wow'd by some of the scenery and maybe even enjoy some of the storylines.

I would argue that even if you could keep up with the veteran groups, you wouldn't have as much fun as grouping with a bunch of noobs who know absolutely nothing about the game. Maybe start your own group and edit the description with "noobs only" or "Flower Sniffers Wanted"?