The DDO Chronicle: Issue 310

[Oliveyew]

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you for reading the DDO Chronicle! Don't forget to reply below to the Chronicle Comment for your chance to win 500 DDO Points. We'll select a random winner after Noon Eastern on Thursday, November 30th! Good luck.

[krzyysiek098]

404 Page not Found

[Vyrzain]

404 page not found

Same : (

[HurtyouBad]

says same when I click on "Issue 310" both in Forum Picture and from Launcher Box

[Fnordian]

Roasted rust monster with ochre jelly.


EDIT:
Q: How do you cook a savory turkey?
A: One match. Lots of patience.

[mistress_minx]

Baked Kobald with Black Pudding sauce, toasted Mephit wings, a side of Candied Gelatinous Cubes, and Blue Dragon pie for dessert. Washed all down with Phase Spider venom juice, of course.

[MyFreePlay]

"mistress_minx
Baked Kobald with Black Pudding sauce, toasted Mephit wings, a side of Candied Gelatinous Cubes, and Blue Dragon pie for dessert. Washed all down with Phase Spider venom juice, of course."

Now that is gross. Quite clever, but gross.

[Memnir]

https://i.imgur.com/lSvL955.jpghttps://i.imgur.com/aZT9DD2.gif

Happy Thanksgiving, folks!

[JoyfulEagle]

Baked Kobald with Black Pudding sauce, toasted Mephit wings, a side of Candied Gelatinous Cubes, and Blue Dragon pie for dessert. Washed all down with Phase Spider venom juice, of course.

If only I had your cookbook. :)

[mna]

Ok, those few people who have commented on something that doesn't look like a 404 error may have seen the actual chronicle content...? Does that mean that it works for some people consistently or is it just random for all?

I'm getting a 404 anyway.

[Hafeal]

You for reading the DDO Chronicle!

https://media1.giphy.com/media/l3vQZuMOvXc1jE1Qk/200w.gif?cid=3640f6095bf5e800536c7568672fbd9b

[Aftergod]

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you for reading the DDO Chronicle! Don't forget to reply below to the Chronicle Comment for your chance to win 500 DDO Points. We'll select a random winner after Noon Eastern on Thursday, November 30th! Good luck.


U37pack sale only on ddo market,seriously?

[ahpook]

I definitely avoid the Gelatinous Cube aspic.


Ok, those few people who have commented on something that doesn't look like a 404 error may have seen the actual chronicle content...? Does that mean that it works for some people consistently or is it just random for all?

I'm getting a 404 anyway.

Not the best chronicle but one must make do with what one gets.

[rfachini]

404 here, will keep trying.
Would be happy to receive either 500 or 404 free DDO points. :)

Would prefer a Thanksgiving meal without any monsters on the menu.

[IntrepidBear]

Pickled Kobold toes, Roast Fire Dragon with giblets gravy, gelatenous cube sauce, fermented aged Broccoli juice and baked mimic bread.. :cool:

[SocratesBastardSon]

Hmm, where did I put my Goggles of Lost 404 Detection? I know they're in my pack somewhere...

[Bolo_Grubb]

Blargh

[halestone48]

R.I.P. chronicles. Heh.

Seriously though hopefully this gets fixed.

[Strambotica]

404 not found :S

[ForgettableNPC]

Clearly this is a clue to the next legendary raid.

We're going to have to kill like 404 Warforged Titans or something, aren't we.

And they're invisible.

Or have transparent models.

So we can't find them.

[Dark_Helmet]

I have your 404...riiight here.

[Captain_Wizbang]

In 2008, a study carried out by telecommunications found that "404" became a slang synonym for "clueless"

Therefore I claim "clueless"

[1cebeast]

404

[EnragedBears]

If we get "404 Not Found" that is what SSG have for us this week

I think its a clue about us needing to find 404 of "something" - I think it must be 404 devs? - what do you think?

[Dalris_Thane]

404 Not Found

Obviously, 404 is an artist representation of a heavy set Drow with a hand crossbow in... well... each hand. Of course, being a master of stealth as most Drows can be, the double crossbow wielding assassin can't be found... until it's too late.

EDIT: Bonus question:

How do you cook a Savory Turkey?

By law abiding chefs. Wouldn't want it to be cooked by... unsavory types...

Sorry. Go with the 404 thing instead, heh.

[Grandern_Marn]

Four hundred and four

[Saekee]

Glitterdust, true seeing and a high spot

edit: and have Jerry fix oven

[DunkleNymphe]

my Spot and Search are not high enough to find the secret chronicle...

[crankee]

I'm guessing 404 is the amount of search skill required to find the actual chronicle...unfortunately the current in game highest posible search skill is 202 so perhaps 2 people with capped searches searching simultaneously?

[DYWYPI]

HTTP 404

"The DDO Chronicle vanishes in a puff of logic."

[brian14]

File Not Found (https://youtu.be/s2lFeGA2-uc)

[Cordovan]

Sorry, Chronicle now published.

[mistress_minx]

By making sure to baste it often, and always making sure there's liquid in the roasting pan. Lower temp for longer helps keep it moist. I make a rub of butter and herbs, and use that to coat the bird as well

[Vasandralov]

Typically with heat.

[ahpook]

Sorry, Chronicle now published.
How many people's posts still do a good job of answering the question from the Chronicle "How do you cook a Savory Turkey?"

[ideal_insomnia]

How about... wrapped in bacon, with a side of broccoli?

[John3000]

... with some 'special' stuffings of course. :p "Kobold eat fresh rat stuffed turkey tonight, yum !!!" :D

[cdbd3rd]

Surrounded by lots of taters. Lots & lots of taters.

...and then add a few more taters.

[Arkat]

In a fire where it dies.

[Sierim]

Fireball.

[rfachini]

A good savory turkey is always cooked with Fireball and a basting of Glitterdust. Stormreach tradition.

Thanks for posting the Chronicle on a holiday, Cordovan. Happy Thanksgiving!

[Inanout]

I ask the wife to cook it.

[ForgettableNPC]

Using 404 Fire Elementals.

[Rig_O_Mortis]

Set your dragon to 315 degrees F for a low and slow savory roast turkey.

[Niminae]

How do you cook a Savory Turkey?

Blend poultry seasoning in with soft butter, spread it all under and over the skin of the turkey.

Happy Thanksgiving!

[Egilson]

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you for reading the DDO Chronicle! Don't forget to reply below to the Chronicle Comment for your chance to win 500 DDO Points. We'll select a random winner after Noon Eastern on Thursday, November 30th! Good luck.


slow cooking.

[Nothingtoseehere]

You cast Fireball.

[Vooduspyce]

Tofurky

[Melissamae]

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Take your biggest fresh turkey, pre-seasoned with your favorite ground up herb vendor (dry out first and make sure to grind him/her up well and sprinkle vendor all over that big turkey!), to your favorite dragon-the one that you are on good terms with! Ask him/her to cook turkey just right with the proper crispy skin AFTER you invite him/her to share your BIG savory turkey dinner with you. :D

"Let me introduce you" to Gramdulf Duck (seen as Gramdulfduck), my first attempt at artificier modeled on and dedicated to my wonderful husband (Evan, of 42 years :)) named Grandpa Duck by grandchildren (due to great Donald Duck talk). Made Gramdulf look as much like Evan as possible-he comes pretty close! Other toons: Adumbration, Apopthegm Pigmaei, Eviepooh, Lumanorio, Melisabeth of Autumn Storm, Melisamae, and Moondelight.

[Strambotica]

in a Firewall till hit 404 degree :P

[The_Human_Cypher]

With butter.

[Gremmlynn]

Fireball!

[byzantinebobby]

I'm man enough to admit that I can't possible cook a turkey and let my wife do it.

[qwert-y]

Acquire the following ingredients, check your local market dealer or portable hole!

1 pinch Mushroom Powder and Saffron

1 pinch Licorice Root

1 spoon of Dried Black Rose

1 ale cup of Pork Rinds

1 Sprig of Sacred Mistletoe

1 Phial of Holy Water

2 Globs of Elemental Grease

11 Drops of Sweet oil

Nymph Tear, Fresh! ( Fresh is optional, the more you can add the better but do not overdo it!! Consult your local Magistrate for info on Nymph population before culling.)

Preparation: 24 hours in advance!

Remove innards and giblets, you will need these to bargain with later.

Combine Sweet Oil, Nymph Tears, Elemental Grease and Holy Water.

Douse the bird in this solution both inside and out with a vigorous motion.

Combine Mushroom Powder, Licorice Root, Black Rose and Pork Rinds into an evenly mixed rub. Apply to bird.

Put the bird away for the next 16 hours in a cold environment such as level 1 of the Tower of Frost or Misery Peak. If you have an Ice Flenser friend ask them to assist.

Wait patiently.



After 18 hours the bird is ready to be cooked. It is normal to see small micro blisters on the skin, this adds surface area and a nice crunch!

Find a Red Dragon, One can be found in the Vault of Night, wear your fancy clothes and ask nicely! Remember those giblets? Now is the time to use them!

Cook said bird at a temperature of no less than 500º for 4 hours, safety first! Rotate 1/4 turn every 15 minutes. Do not serve an undercooked bird!!!

Garnish with Sprig of Sacred Mistletoe!

Enjoy!

For vegetable side dishes we cannot assist. Carnivore recipes only thank you very much.

[Dulcimerist]

Umm... that's not turkey - it's kobold!

[Tolsimar]

Summon Nature's Ally and Wall of Fire.

[LeoLionxxx]

How do you cook a Savory Turkey?

I cook a Savoury turkey with a 'u', like a good colonials up north.

[btolson]

With a good amount of hope.

[slayson]

Give him a lot of alcohol and then insult him. That's how you roast an (un)savory turkey.

[Suggestion]

You ask the Ogre Mage in The Burning City (Chains of Flame) to cook it for you, telling him you like it more thank Dwarf.

[dsmwhiteknight]

Throw it in frozen! Actually comes out really well that way. :-)

[DDO_Addict]

Is savory one of the new Spice Girls?

[JonD]

If my previous cooking attempts are anything to go by, then "badly".

[Twitchafied]

At the end of VoN4 ;)

[Vyrzain]

Over a Lava pit.

[skorpeon]

Yuletide cheesy peas !

[Friggli]

Without sugar....

[Enoach]

In an oven

[Jerevth]

A turkey stuffed inside a kobold inside a tiefling, inside a troll, inside an ogre, inside a gryphon, inside a dragon...
medium heat, ten hours, 59 minutes. Cast "Wish" at the eleventh hour.

(Dragryogtroltiebolden)

[Brandwynn]

With plenty of mindflayer brain jelly and a bowl of black pudding. Cooked in a red dragon flame of 404 degrees.

[Jango-EX]

With yummy spices, for sure

[Feal]

That i don't know, but i'll never put ananas on pizza.

This should give me some points of trust :)

[guzzlr]

Grease spell and burning hands...

[Hipparan]

To cook a Savory Turkey, the best way of course is using some sort of fire magic. However, between a Fiend Warlock, Fire Savant, Favored Soul, or Henshin Mystic there are quite a few differences. A Warlock will make it the best turkey you've ever tasted, but it might take your soul if you eat it. A Fire Savant will cook it up nicely, if it doesn't burn. A Favored Soul can cook it up with healing properties which is nice as long as you aren't undead. A Henshin Mystic will cook it with some unique flavors, but it will still taste like something's missing.

If you wanted a Savory Tofurkey, you should ask a Druid to cook it for you.

[Anicasia]

Minimonic elixir for shiney, glimmering taste

[Edwinge]

Scorch it

[Sunnie]

Why going to all this trouble when you can just wildshape and eat it raw?

[MacSterling83]

Mix sage, paprika, seasoned salt, garlic powder, pepper and nutmeg in small bowl. Place turkey, breast-side up, in prepared pan. Sprinkle about 1/2 of the seasoning mixture inside turkey. Stuff with onion and bay leaves. Then it goes into the oven until golden. Bon Appetit!

[LrdSlvrhnd]

Step 1: Take a turkey, preferably live, and stick it in a cage
Step 2: Take him to the kitchen in the Burning City, although I'm not sure why there's a kitchen when you can cook on literally any surface.
Step 3: Bluff Unkor into thinking the turkey is actually a dwarf.
Step 4: Smile and nod pleasantly as he proudly serves his "Ogre-baked Dwarf" for dinner.

[krzyysiek098]

I generously spare turkey's life and drink major mnemonic potion instead. Cheers!

[halestone48]

Very carefully, with great skill and precision.

[lotofbones]

In the oven at 404 degree farenheit?

[crazycaren]

I think a firewall would work well for cooking a turkey

[Hazelnut]

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you for reading the DDO Chronicle! Don't forget to reply below to the Chronicle Comment for your chance to win 500 DDO Points. We'll select a random winner after Noon Eastern on Thursday, November 30th! Good luck.


Salt, lots and lots of salt.

[stormlordrising]

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you for reading the DDO Chronicle! Don't forget to reply below to the Chronicle Comment for your chance to win 500 DDO Points. We'll select a random winner after Noon Eastern on Thursday, November 30th! Good luck.


very slowly

[Sebastrd]

So...much...BASTING!!!!!

Also, totally worth it.

[PurpleTimb]

15 min/pound in the firewall (caster level 10). Adjust cooking time down by 2 min/level for higher level firewall.

[IlmerSilverhilt]

I would cook it in the flame jet in VoN5, just need 4 people below and 3.. 2.. 1.. Pull!

[spyder7723]

Personally i think the best turkey is smoked with cured oak at medium low temp for 10 hours. Season with your choice of a dry bbq rub.

[Traffik]

Scorching Ray works very well for cooking a turkey.

[Lanadazia]

prolly not in the delirium quest - meat happens to fight back there

[CaptainPurge]

Marinate with beholder eyeball juice and throw it into the Twelve lava moat. Immediately retrieve. Let cool 12 hours.

[Portibraf]

last time, i used the thunderholme magma forge and ended up with a mortal fear savory turkey

[Rawcats]

Whatever just don't call me late for supper!

[Kulothar]

Don't know. Never killed one in DDO.

[Kuraci]

With a fire trap.

[Luchyz]

Very slowly and painfully...

[DDO_Addict]

By using an unsavory fellow

[Lalangamena]

with savoury wall of fire,

[archest]

your welcome thanks for the weekly free stuff.

[C-Dog]

Well, I know how to roast one...

Get all its friends together, and have them tell all the most embarrassing stories they can remember (or fabricate)...

[Tyrande]

you for reading the DDO Chronicle! Don't forget to reply below to the Chronicle Comment for your chance to win 500 DDO Points. We'll select a random winner after Noon Eastern on Thursday, November 30th! Good luck.


Olive, are you doing this yourselves?

Anyways, you need a fresh turkey to start. Note the word 'fresh'. No pre-processed turkey of any kind. ;)

Preprocess water
You would also need a bar of salt-less butter, 2 gallons of water; 2 cups of Kosher salt and a cup of brown sugar.
(note the ratios of salt-less butter bar to the water vs kosher salt and brown sugar)

Add garlic, orange skins, black pepper, lemon grass and rosemary.

Pre Processing steps:

Remove internal orgrans of the savory turkey.
Use clean water to clean the internal of the turkey with the organs removed.
Put the turkey into a huge bag or other container. Add the 2 gallons of salt mixed water from previous section which can cover the whole turkey.
Keep the bag with the turkey in an ice elemental propelled cooling device.


The morning of the Savory Turkey feast:

Remove the bag with the turkey from the cooling device
Put #1 at room temperature for 2 hours
Tie the legs of the Savory Turkey
Redirect the wings of the Savory Turkey to be under its arm pits
Slice the saltless butter very thin. Insert the slices under the Savory Turkey skin. Additionally insert heated regular butter. Since the turkey already dipped in the salty water overnight, please do not add any additional salted favor dressings.
Pre heat the fire elementals powered device to 350F
insert a steel plate with water about half an inch high under the turkey inside the heat device hangars.
Calculate the time the turkey should be in the heating device. Usually the time = weight in pounds of the turkey * 15 minutes + 2.5 hours
Upon every hour, remove the turkey from the heating device and brush it with the oil collected from the plate underneath (the plate with 0.5 inch water) and then re-insert in back to the heating device.
The Last Hour: Remove tin foil and prepare to add color. The wings should be covered still to prevent the turkey to get burnt.
Measure the Temperature of the internal of the Savory Turkey. If its 170->180F, then it can come out.
Do not waste the oil under the turkey. They can be used for noodles or cover the turkey. The turkey gets a cool down of 30 minutes after coming out of the heating device.
Now its ready.... Nom Nom Nom!

[FlavoredSoul]

I've always wondered what Beholder Eyestalks taste like.


Maybe boiled in Ocre Jelly or Black Pudding?

[Brightheart245]

When it rolls a 1!

[Mouska]

Part of this is in Italian?

[gilstar9]

With FIRE, you can never have too big of a flame!

[Entil]

Wrapped in Bacon of course!

[Letu]

Low and slow with a nice companionship of stuffing and vegetables of choice.

[wak0767]

With lots of Savor. Lots and lots of Savor.

[rhk0872]

Wrapped in bacon (from your guild airship, of course).

[CPDK9]

If you truly want a savory turkey - you must deep fry!

[RevCo]

Rather cook "for" a turkey then cook one.

[Roberdt]

Wrapped in Bacon

[RobinLynn]

Over a Lava pit

[JennaDark]

carefully

[twoleftfeet]

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you for reading the DDO Chronicle! Don't forget to reply below to the Chronicle Comment for your chance to win 500 DDO Points. We'll select a random winner after Noon Eastern on Thursday, November 30th! Good luck.


fireball it till it stops moving then fireball it some
more

[Oliveyew]

Salt, lots and lots of salt.

Congratulations! You've won this week's contest. I'll PM you a code!

[cdbd3rd]

Congratulations! You've won this week's contest. I'll PM you a code!


Grats, Hazel!! :)