The DDO Chronicle: Issue 129 is now available!

[Cordovan]

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[Hazelnut]

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Because there isn't enough Chianti for their favorite recipe.

[UurlockYgmeov]

No sense of smell or taste. They think Intelligence is a main course. No suave de vie.


Because there isn't enough Chianti for their favorite recipe.
Sorry Hazelnut - you aren't their favorite dish. :P

[rfachini]

They can't avoid eating any raw ingredients as soon as they touch them.

[LeoLionxxx]

We actually don't know this - no one who goes to their dinner parties ever returns :\

[The_Human_Cypher]

Because they think every dish needs MORE BRAINS!

[nordlav]

Because too many kooks spoil the Mind Blast...........

[PuppiesAndRainbows]

The Illithid are in fact very good chefs
They just have a bad habit of eating food critics brains before the review is published.

[ForgettableNPC]

Because you can't keep your brain long enough to enjoy the food made by them.

[Nyrvjjn]

mind flayers are nice guys

[madmaxhunter]

Just as the kitchen timer hits zero a rodent will inevitably dart across the floor and he has to mind drain it. It's always a distraction. While rodent A is being mind drained, rodents B through F steal the food.

[Fnordian]

Mind Flayers are lazy! They just control your mind and get you to eat it no matter what it tastes or looks like.

[Vulkoorex]

Because they think everything tastes like chicken.

[Nyata]

with those tentacles and no proper mouths... I am really sure their diet consists of jello. and.. how many flavours of jello can you actually enjoy?

while one might come up with a variety of spicy, well seasoned, and interesting jello recipies - crab-meat flavored jello with a hint of garlic and lemon, peperoni-pizza-jello with extra cheese flavor, or medium-rare-steak-jello which still oozes some red juice when you sink your tentacles into it - they really do not meet everyone's palate the way it is intended to.

[MangLord]

Only zombies like their cuisine.

[Gedov]

Because they don't pick up their host's palate during ceremorphosis, leaving them with no developed sense of fine culinary delights.

[LevelJ]

Because in Xorian Cuisine, the food eats YOU.


-J

[Talon_Dragonsbane]

They only make Flamey Rinds

[Ambitious]

Why would you say they are terrible chefs? I love brain!

[Alternative]

I forgot...

[krzyysiek098]

Because they eat brains before cooking. No pepper is involved too, making it a really poor choice for an extraordinary dinner with your loved ones.

[Nuclear_Elvis]

Mind Flayers must use brain food - Rutabaga, as a base ingredient to every dish they serve. It works for some main dishes, but even their best friends can't help but decline once it is time for dessert to be served...

[Stratimics]

No... they... make... excellent... chefs... they... are... the... best... I... assure... you...

[Doctorivil]

They don't make great chefs because they don't use enough curry.
Anyzombie can cook a brain well enough, you don't need to be a mindflayer to do that, but the lack of curry in their dishes is mind-burning! Curry I tell you is the key to a good brain dish! Curry! But do mindflayers listen to me?...

... I guess overall the arts of cuisine are more about passion than intelect.

[Grandern_Marn]

It&s not so much that the Mind Flayer is an incompetent cook, its just that their Mind Blast fricassee technique has a toxifying quality which makes all food radioactive and resultingly deadly for sentient beings. If your OK with radioactive food, their creations can be quite delectable!

[Tyrande]

[QUOTE=Cordovan;5538627]Why do Mind Flayers make terrible chefs?[QUOTE]

Since they can read mines, they try to please everyone by reading their minds.
Once they did thtat, they cannot deicde on a dish that pleases everyone.
Instead, "the chefs" took their guests' brains out and use them as recipe before their own got too much conlicting information and explodes!

[geoffhanna]

Aversion to calimari.

[Kawai]

https://www.ddo.com/sites/default/files/U24headerH.jpg (https://www.ddo.com/en/news/ddo-chronicle-issue-129)


answer is obvious.
this poor gargoyle sampled a bit of Substitute Chef M. Flayer's infamous 'Hero Linguine with Wine sauce'. -poor fella never did made it back to Quest.

[Saekee]

It begins with their difficulty in boiling water

[btolson]

Tentacles are slimy and tend to drip mucus into whatever is underneath them, including pots, pans, mixing bowls, or whatever else you may be preparing food in.

Of course, this wouldn't be a problem if illithid mucus was delicious in taste.

It's not.

[Dragonlover333]

They actually make okay food if they really try, but they insist on serving it inside a thick container that rolls around easily, and don't even provide anything to break it open with. They say that cutlery is "an absurd custom of outsider races" and "who are you, anyway?"

[Rinnaldo]

Too many personalities in one kitchen. (Mmmm... Cognitive processes...)

[peng]

Have you ever seen a taken you'd trust with an eggbeater?

[Vooduspyce]

Mind flayers make terrible chefs because they don't serve others.

[Sebastrd]

Speaking as a Brain in a Jar, I'm tired of them mistaking my lair for a pantry.

[Jango-EX]

Do they? I always thought that mind flayer cuisine was mind-blowing!

[desertbuttons]

They never wash their hands!

[1cebeast]

You cant get one to wear a Beard-snood

[cdbd3rd]

Why do mind flayers make terrible chefs?

They never have to get good at cooking - they just serve any old slop with a little tentacle waving, "*This is the best food you've ever eaten...*"

[silisav]

I guess the problem remains a problem until you divide by zero.

[Eryhn]

they tend to overcook the meat with their psyonic beams ...

[Kydrou]

Because the only recipe they know is "Mind Blasted Adventurer Slurry"

[dunklezhan]

Why do mindflayers make terrible Chefs?

Because whenever anyone asks for squid they either fly into a terrible sympathetic rage and remove the patron's brain in revenge, or, if they agree to serve said meal, they inevitably make a horrible mess after chopping up the wrong tentacles.

[catouse9]

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Everything thet make tastes of tenticle?

[TimeIsDead]

Have you tried his cooking? He's all celebrity, no chef.

....Wrong Flay. Unless Fred has a brother?

[Nesis]

Because one forgot to protect its tentacles when chopping a habanero and now all of them are afraid of spice.

[Dulcimerist]

They aren't eligible for financial aid from culinary schools.

[Jetsu]

Because all their "assistants" become side dishes.

[Noctunicus]

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Because they look like they should be on the sushi menu, not making it.

[LittleLexi]

Because *you're* the food!!!

[ezee2002]

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severe lack of side dishes for brains...i.e. Fava beans. where do you find them in stormreach?

[royboy]

They lack charisma.
Therefore, they don't have the needed social skills.



Docsin - Disciples of Sin

[Zzevel]

Noon Eastern (-5 GMT) on Friday, February 20th!

Gargoyles is still on the air?

[Rondelek7]

Because they can't resist eating their customers.

[Holybird]

Heck, they are not terrible cooks. No one just stays alive to tell about their food:D

[Cordovan]

Because in Xorian Cuisine, the food eats YOU.


-J

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