game: Take a quest name, alter it, make a new quest

[der_kluge]

Here are the rules.
1. Take a quest in DDO.
2. Alter it by a single letter.
- You may add a single letter.
- You can remove a single letter.
- You can change a single letter.
3. Briefly describe the new version of this quest.


I'll start.

And the Dad Shall Rise
Hayward's father is risen from the grave, and he's disgusted with what his son has done. But the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree - an army of ghostly constructs begins infesting Delera's graveyard causing all kinds of havoc.

[bartharok]

The Lords of Khyber have created a really annoying jingle that drives people mad. Your task is to stop them from playing it all over of stormreach. Can you stop the Khyberian Bards before its too late?

[Blackheartox]

In the depths of underground of stormreach lies a vault that hides the most glorious and powerful treasures known to man.

But, no adventurer has yet managed to come alive from the depths behind the caves of mind flyers and breach through the hives of beholders to attempt the challenge of of the vault.
It is a long forgotten tale that everyone thinks only exist as a story to scare little children to prevent them to enter the sewers.

But is that really the truth?
Or is there more hidden behind this simple tale?

[moriedhel]

A rich and powerful Troglodyte has lost his pet cat in an abandoned tomb filled with unsavory undead. Jump ledges, pull leavers, escape dangerous traps and ambushes as you locate and escort Mister Whiskers back to the quest entrace!

[sebastianosmith]

Iosynne d'Phiarlan hired you to guard an ice cream truck bound for a region of the Menechtarun Desert known as the Lemon Sands by those daring enough to risk its wastes. Eskimos Pies, Creamcicles, Rocket Pops, Nutty Buddys and Dove Bars are desperately needed by the sweet-deprived people at Zawabi's Refuge, the only oasis safe from the scorrow, outsiders and gnolls who plague the Lemon Sands in search of tasty treats. Iosynne promises you your choice of one ice cream from the truck's stores so you don't ruin your dinner. And maybe one for later. If you're good.

[dameron]

Setting the Warts: The Lower Cathedral. This is basically a long quest to retrieve a cure disease pot.

[Sehenry03]

You have to play as a teenage girl and you have to spend your OWN money instead of your daddies!!! Dum Dum Dum!!!!

[dameron]

And there are a few that I won't touch for fear of getting banned:

The Snitch
The Temple Outpost: Captives of the Cult
An Explosive Situation
The Thrill of the Hunt

[Connman]

It's simple, all enemies have been removed from the vale and you have to sniff every flower to make a rainbow appear.

[Sir_Noob]

Archer Paint Defense

The Archer Paint company of Stormreach has been the victim of paint vandalism.
Within recent weeks this company which has been a paragon of the business community for over 20 years has seen all sorts vandalism wreaked upon their business.
Within 24 hours any newly completed paint job, it has been defaced in some manner.
It has been most devastating as no one wants to hire the Archer Paint Company for their needs now.
You have been hired to discover who has been doing this and to bring an end to their terror so business can return to normal.

[Optional]
Lord Amanatu has staked a large bounty on bringing the individuals responsible for painting the rather large, garish, and most unflattering portraits of him on the sides of the buildings of fresh Archer paint jobs.
Rumour has it the Coin Lords reward will be substantial.

[kbaskins]

You meet a deranged duck who tells you about the colourful pastel eggs that lie hidden in tunnels under the city. But beware the squishy caramels that drop from the ceiling or slither out of pools! If the caramel touches your skin, armor or weapon, it'll burn because the caramel is still hot and we all know how much damage burning sugar can do.

Anyway, the objective is to defeat two kobold brothers, hopping around while inexplicably dressed in fuzzy pink bunny suits,

[Sir_Noob]

Some fools have been releasing imprisoned individuals from the Catacombs who share secrets that could prove to be most uncomfortable if they became public.
As Archbishop Dryden's right hand man you have been tasked to make sure none of them see the light of day.

[cdbd3rd]

Arachnophilia:

Still a solo quest, cuz you *really* don't want anyone to see what you have to do for the Brown Spider Queen...

[Vellrad]

famework

you can be a fabulous taken model on his/her way to fame!

[cru121]

Reactivate the brewery of ancient giants.

[Holybird]

House Deneith seeks your assistance! Almost all pies in House Deneith have been eaten/stolen/killed. Local Hobgoblin cook Skinny seeks your assistance to seek for pie robbers so everyone can live their normal lives and eat Skinny's famous apple-pie.

Quest consist of many traps, powerful mobs and boss is Undead Troll. You will encounter it when it is eating a halfling-pie (made of last one who tried to kill him) Boss has special fast healing (as long as there is still pie left) and your job is to tank/kite the troll as long as the pie is fully eaten(you have to release rats which will eat the pie) after pie is eaten you can kill the troll.

[phillymiket]

The Legend of Two Co-ed Tobias

A sexy wailing echoes throughout Three Barrel Cove University. Most locals believe it emanates from the boys of Wheeping Cove House, thought to be the party place of the King of the Frat Boys "Two Co-ed Tobias".

[Braegan]

Didn't we do this already kinda recently?


https://www.ddo.com/forums/showthread.php/448151-Switch-a-letter-and-get-something-funny-DDO-edition

[PermaBanned]

Malicia is back, and she has turned her sights from House Phiarlan to House Kundarak!

... Any further explanation would result in consequences...

[luvirini]

So many possibilities:

A mall problem: The shopping mall has been infested with mimics that mimic common goods, you have to sort out what goods are mimics and what are normal.

An offering of Flood:A cult is giving offerings to a rain spirit that floods the farmlands. The Playerss have to stop the next offering from reaching the spirit so the floods stop.

Bargain of flood: The cult is back and bargaining with some other spirits to start the floods again and have to be stopped.

Beyond the Raft: There is a strange raft floating near the harbor that starts to move by itself when you step on it, where will it take you?

The Black Lock: One morning the bank of Kundrak has is closed with a huge black ominous looking lock on the door and no one from house Kundraka is commenting on the issue. The Players have to break into the bank, find out what evil stirs in the vaults and stop it.

Bringing the Fight: Can be really anything hack and slash style..

Caged Rolls: Somehow the rolls are disappearing from the bakers transport cages on way to the market, the Players have to find out how.

The Law of Vulcoor: A mystery based on the tribal customs around a drow priestess of Vulcor that has disappeared.

Come out and play: The players have to babysit some kids that are really good at getting into trouble...

Evil assault: As Devil assault bust something generic evil attacks.. :)

The Druid's Purse: The druid has lost his purse while shopping in town and now threatens to level the town with earthquakes unless it is found...

Dye of the Titan: A Titan of ancient greek mythology want dye and lots of it.. so the players have to find enough dye to pacify the giant before he goes on rampage..

And that is just for quests starting with A-E... So there are really many possibilities.

[Sharktopus]

It's the same exact quest.

[Lifespawn]

Von 4 The Haywire Poundry

Full of robots that want to beat you and it ends with a fiery eruption and you hiding behind a closed door.

[Daine]

A Smell Problem (the sequel to the Carnival chain A Small Problem)

Glitter Underhill had a plan:

Step 1: Find the worst play ever written. (The Stormreaver Saga)
Step 2: Hire the worst director in town.
Step 3: Raise two million platinum.
Step 4: Hire the worst actor (Brawnpits)
Step 5: Close on House Phiarlan, take the platinum, and flee to Eveningstar!

But while the play is a stinker, it's also an unanticipated success with Brawnpits playing an unexpectedly camp Stormreaver! Nonetheless, the Coin Lords sniff out Underhill's deception and find her "incredibly guilty". You have also been found "slightly less guilty" for your part in getting Brawnpits to agree to to perform.

Now imprisoned you must escape and clear your name as the 'mostly innocent' folks you are. What follows is a madcap prison adventure where killing the guards is not an option, but helping Underhill put together a crack new musical is your only path to freedom!

[ Apologies to Mel Brooks for ripping off his play - but as a guest narrator he would be awesome! ]

[Daine]

...can't seem to stop...


An Explosive Situation

Ant Explosive Situation

Low Level Harbour, Solo. Armoured ants have invaded a tomb and are impervious to traditional weapons, you must set timed explosives and then lure the ants into them using yourself as bait!

---------------------

Into the Deep

Into the Beep: In the Inspired Quarter, in a newly found memory fragment, you finally get to go inside the mind of a warforged Titan and lay waste to an army of giants with your terrific Cannith weaponry!

---------------------

Proof is in the Poison

For our French speaking players: Proof is in the Poisson

Thual Masmataz has hatched a new plan to taint the water supply of Stormreach using fish! Hidden away in his laboratory beneath Stormreach, he has been experimenting to make the most potent Killer Cod possible. Stop the mad alchemist before he perfects his latest freakshow and once again infects the water supply of Stormreach.

---------------------

Undermine

Udder Mine: After fighting minotaurs for years, you find yourself lost, alone and injured on a deserted island. Eventually you encounter another survivor but from the enemy species you were fighting; you must band together to survive this hostile island. In the end you find yourself caring for your bovine companion in a completely unexpected way! (Kudos to the 80's film Enemy Mine)

---------------------

Trial by Fury

Trial by Furry! We need a Brony to write the plot for this one!

[Cordovan]

This thread is very amusing. :)

[janave]

A Lesson in Reception - same deal, less maze, more lootz.

Breaking the Pranks - the adventurers find the hidden journal of Amskar where he writes about the whole raiding of Cormyr is a made up joke for his brothers Birthday Party. The quest can be stealthed and soloed using only the Bluff skill.

Beyond the Drift - adventurers have to beat dretches in a railcart challenge.

[patang01]

You're finally out of the trap, but now you have to walk as many miles as the red named giants hit points on Epic Elite. Uphill. Chased by all Shadar Kai Champions with true vision, fort bypass, double HP and double damage.

Enjoy

[zwiebelring]

The Snuggler's Warehouse

Get access to The Ilse of Forgotten Creams...

The Low Toad

Heyton's Nest -> used in the other thread already, so it'll be Heyton's Fest

[mezzorco]

Cellimas is a fan of Lars Heyton's book series, which tells about a girl named Mysery.

When Cellimas peeks about Mysery's bad end in the latest book of the series, she decides to force Heyton to write an happy ending, at all costs...

[patang01]

You have to grow up, raise a family, learn some basic skills, build a bigger house, become friends with 10 NPCs and to fend off 5 burglars before you can profit.

[patang01]

You know what he did last summer. And you've been hired to clean up the 'mistake'.

[sebastianosmith]

Calliphor Validus Sassoon has burst forth from his burial crypt to make all of Stormreach look FABULOUS!

[Chai]

So many possibilities. Where to begin.

Slopping the Sahuagin - The fish are hungry, and its up to your party to feed them before time runs out.

Chains of Fame - The group must audition to get into the school of performing arts to become supporting actors, to be cast alongside Brawnpits in his role as the Stormreaver.

The maze of sadness - Successfully navigating the maze requires piecing together clues from random emo minotaur poetry.

The lord of yes - surrounded by yes men, its up to you, adventures, to convince the lord that his plan is faulty, at best.

The Faster Artificer. Help Tovin build a vehicle to race in the tour de khorvaire - the better he places, the more XP and chests awarded.

[Oxarhamar]

The Vault of Experiance.


I think we've all run this one before.

[axel15810]

Desecrated Temple of LOL!

[ForgettableNPC]

Heyton's Pest

Kaja Bauerdatter asks you to rid of some annoying vermin in the Heyton's basement.

[HuneyMunster]

And there are a few that I won't touch for fear of getting banned:

The Snitch
The Temple Outpost: Captives of the Cult
An Explosive Situation
The Thrill of the Hunt

You can say the same about Missing in Action

[Theolin]

Hall of the Bark - there is too much noise from the hall silence the DC'd arti dogs

Have Dasher - missing reindeer ... he flies good luck catching him

The Friars nieces -- now with more nieces

Here's there smoke - find the pipe before you get to confused

Come out and stay - get them DC'd pets to sit in a big amphitheater

Endgame: The Archbishop's Ate - montypython quest of eathing

[FuzzyDuck81]

"Kobolds remember waterworks!" these words have been heard throughout Stormreach & it's environs, but now they take on a more alarming note as rumours abound of a lone kobold prophet recently returned from his self-imposed exile near Ataraxia's Haven, said to be a herald & descendant of dragons, believed to be wielding the power of the Shiradi champions & looking for revenge... it is up to our adventurers to stop this menace, by whatever means necessary!

[dualscissors]

The Truthful One and the Stormreaver decide to put their grievances in front of a formal court of law. The PCs must find damning testimony and sift through ancient tomes of legal precedent to deliver justice to the war-torn land.

[ForgettableNPC]

The Snatch

Work as a pickpocket and steal all the platinum purses of everyone in Stormreach!


Finding the Bath

Some random bypassing NPC told you that the odorous scent emanating from your body left a distaste in their olfactory senses-must be due to all those sewer adventures-so now you have to find somewhere to clean yourself up, literally.


The Dreaming Bark

You have to sneak past some VERY temperamental, sleeping dogs.


The Reaver's Late

The Stormreaver agreed to meet up for an epic climactic battle, but he never showed up! Where could he possibly be, you wonder as you impatiently wait in place, staring at the ceiling, tapping your arms while having them crossed and going "Uggggh."


The Bark of Death

There's this one tree in Necropolis that's killing everyone. Go chop it down! Preferably with a Greataxe.


The Church and the Cut

You're helping the Cultists of Vol run their church secretly underneath the Harbor ever since you drove them out of House Phiarlan. Now it's to go pick up your extor-I mean, your cut for helping them resettle and not reporting it to the Stormreach guard or the Silver Flame.


From Beyond the Rave

Hold back a crowd of inebriated youthful individuals who just left a dance party from desecrating Delera's Graveyard! They're coming at you with flashing weapons and glosticks, so pack some sunglasses!


The Mystery of Delera's Bomb

Apparently Delera Omaren, once well-renowned Coin Lord of Stormreach past, had an interest in crafting explosives...Try to go disarm one of her most deadly creations WITHOUT blowing the entire graveyard up, will you?


The Depths of Dooom

Same quest. Only more DOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!

[AlmGhandi]

what did he just say?

[bsquishwizzy]

The party is to replant, and properly fertilize the gardens outside the Cult of the Devourer's main office center, utilizing only marigolds and petunias...

[FuzzyDuck81]

Garrison has been turned into a werewolf! Help him find his pack, while dodging fanatics of the Silver Flame who want nothing better than to turn him into a rug!

[patang01]

He's a giant menace and you're hired as his bodyguard. All of it.

[patang01]

This is about Maleficents tale, I mean a tale about Maleficent.

[patang01]

So they crashed the party, you - the 800 pound gorilla is hired to take care of them.

[Draksel]

Yarkuch Jr. has created a tasty concoction that has the side effect of making everyone who drinks it his mind-slave! You must find out where Yarkuch Jr. is brewing his plans and put a stop to them.

[ForgettableNPC]

Necromancer's Loom

A necromancer wants a loom to craft his fabulous necromancy robes! Go get it for him! Then steal it for yourself because you'd wear it better.


Bringing the Blight

Instead of removing disease, help spread it! Why, you ask? Who cares!?


Power Flay

Step 1: Take a whip.
Step 2: Swing your arm back.
Step 3: Swing it back forward towards a target with great power.


Blown to Bots

A huge explosion has magically swapped your body with that of a Warforged! (And if you're a Warforged, it swapped your body with that of a human's!) What crazy socially awkward comedic situations will happen now?!


Yeast or Famine

A baker friend of yours needs some yeast to make his bread! Go get them! They promised you a free confectionery.

[Holybird]

The Gaze of Madness.

Normal sight of DDO player who has just finished 72 hours long playing session.

[patang01]

The waterworks have been infested with Kobold gaming nerds and they're going to go d20 and houserules on you for busting up their dungeon crawl.

[FuzzyDuck81]

A group of sahaugin are planning to retake Korthos, but the village elders refuse to believe they're in any danger after your previous successes - rescue your informant from the sahaugin jail & escort them to safety with the plans, then rally the village to beat off the invasion!

[Loromir]

Solve the mystery of who soiled your guild ship's hot tub.

[FuzzyDuck81]

Duregar have been strip-mining a forest sacred to the elven court, shipping the lumber off to the highest bidder. The court wants you to head down the river that's being used to transport the logs, and recover the remains of a particular tree that was sacred to the court, then return it to it's home, allowing the spirit of the forest to awaken & drive out the Duregar mining operation.

[Powskier]

you must farm crystals from the walls of the shafts with our favorite kobolds as you rise in the dungeon..setting torches and fighting Jack Jibbers at the jump point....when you get enough crystals the door opens! In this update kobold workers will accecpt raise dead.

[Enoach]

Penn's Trail: Clan Tunnelworm

Help Teller locate Penn who has been taken further into the depth's of zealot Kobolds. Teller knows what happened but he's not talking.


Penn's Trail: Penn's Fate

Discover Penn's Fate in the dungeon of zealot Kobolds. Is he dead? or is he being forced to watch upcoming kobold magicians try to stump him.

[Powskier]

A Smell Problem (the sequel to the Carnival chain A Small Problem)

Glitter Underhill had a plan:

Step 1: Find the worst play ever written. (The Stormreaver Saga)
Step 2: Hire the worst director in town.
Step 3: Raise two million platinum.
Step 4: Hire the worst actor (Brawnpits)
Step 5: Close on House Phiarlan, take the platinum, and flee to Eveningstar!

But while the play is a stinker, it's also an unanticipated success with Brawnpits playing an unexpectedly camp Stormreaver! Nonetheless, the Coin Lords sniff out Underhill's deception and find her "incredibly guilty". You have also been found "slightly less guilty" for your part in getting Brawnpits to agree to to perform.

Now imprisoned you must escape and clear your name as the 'mostly innocent' folks you are. What follows is a madcap prison adventure where killing the guards is not an option, but helping Underhill put together a crack new musical is your only path to freedom!

[ Apologies to Mel Brooks for ripping off his play - but as a guest narrator he would be awesome! ]

call it Springtime for Elminster and Germany

[Monkey-Boy]

'Trial by Furry'

I'll leave this up to your imagination, let's just say it involves an owlbear costume and a ball-gag.

[FuzzyDuck81]

Shar. What does she want? How shall her will be spread across the world? In this epic pack you will infiltrate the cult & uncover her plans, culminating in a raid where you must face the night goddess herself, calling upon the powers of light to prevent The Darkening from engulfing all of Faerun in permanant midnight.

[dunklezhan]

Taming the Lames

It's the same exact quest.

/thread.

[dameron]

You can say the same about Missing in Action

Nice. Missed that one. I think that one is a mission full of fear inducing mobs and electrified floors.

[FuzzyDuck81]

After the failed invasion of Stormreach by the Sharn empire, restitutions were demanded, and along with the promised gold was a single large, unusual-looking blue box with strange markings. Divinations by the Twelve detect links to the chronoscope as well as dimensional magic, along with... something - or someone. You are charged with investigating this mysterious gift, whether it is dangerous, and to dermine Who or what is inside.

[PermaBanned]

Setting the Words
The Stormreach Chronicle's magical type press has been stolen, and you must first recover it then back to Chronicle's headquarters before the next edition is due!

Vetting the Wards
Archbishop Dryden is to be taking custody of some long-lost (but recently departed) relative's children, and you must verify they are who they say before they arrive!

The Colt of the Six
Coin Lord Montague's prized mare Six's foal is ready to be moved to Coin Lords race horse training facility, and you're responsible for escort duty - he has high hopes for this one's potential, so failure will cost you all your status {favor rewards!} with the Coin Lords!

Taking the Flakes
Thumb wants to pull a prank on his brother Nail, and has enlisted your help in swiping his breakfast!

Blinging the Light
After all the damage done defeating the Cabal's assassins, the Chapterhouse needs a new lavish chandelier and Cyan has hired you to aquire the jewels for it!

Nest for the Nestless
Some Harpies have come through the rift from Eveningstar, and you must convince them to relocate to somewhere besides the Harbor's rooftops. (Fortunately, there's this lovely pirate cove you've recently emptied of it's inhabitants ;))

[patang01]

New Epic Shroud raid

[PermaBanned]

Raged Trolls
The DDO forums have become so over run, that Cordovan & Co need the assistance of Stormreache's mightiest heroes to restore order as no mere mortal is up to the task!

*This Epic level adventure is rated as an Extreme Challenge! Balanced party is recommended and hirelings may not suffice!*

[patang01]

Throw caution to the curve!

[bsquishwizzy]

Servants of the Overlard

Objective: The party must avoid fried, fattening foods, and unsaturated fats.

[Daerius of the Blessed Blades]

Someone has found a haven for mimes in the Menechtarun Desert. Take them out in the most painful way imaginable for access to bonus chests!

[AlmGhandi]

You have to bring that book back to the school library, without getting caught on the way.

[FlaviusMaximus]

Under the Big Toe - Help rid a cloud giant of a bunion.

The Depths of Doof - A lot of physical comedy in this one.

Broom of Flame - Something has gone horribly wrong when sweeping out the chimney.

Pies in the House - Delicious.

Gianthold Tort - The giants are held responsible for their wrongdoings in an exciting courtroom drama.

Escape Plant - Find the ficus, save the world.

Power Pray - Combating evil through intense group pray.

Beyond the Tift - Find out what really lurks behind this minor squabble.

Into the Depp - It involves a lot of accessories and playing the same eccentric character over and over again.

[Kafkadreams]

Glitter Underhill just bought giant horses to transport Brawnpits around Stormreach. Unfortunately, she didn't plan far enough in advance to hire more ranch hands. It is up to you, dear adventurer, to clean those stalls! What treasure might be hidden underneath the filth and grime? Only the truly brave will find out!

[Kafkadreams]

Bob Barker has arrived in Stormreach! All of the druids are holed up in the The Rusty Nail whispering and drinking in groups, terrified to transform into their wolf and bear forms. Will anyone help them? Or are they doomed to a life of hiding in the shadows?

[Powskier]

you must farm crystals from the walls of the shafts with our favorite kobolds as you rise in the dungeon..setting torches and fighting Jack Jibbers at the jump point....when you get enough crystals the door opens! In this update kobold workers will accecpt raise dead.

just giving myself props for connecting the mining theme in wordplay..i really like this idea for a new challenge like cannith stuff

[dlsidhe]

Acute Magisterium

You pester inn goers by telling them about the plan the Silver Flame has for their life.

[Razor_Wit]

You must enter the temple and assist the inhabitants to locate a tiefling who has stolen their medication for his own nefarious purposes.

[PermaBanned]

How many letters is one? Me thinks somebodies didn't quite read (or at least follow) the rules of the OP ;)

[LordDunmore]

Coin Lord Berrigan Enge told you about a miller who is claiming to be the Best Actor in Stormreach. The problem is that his house is located in a prime location in the harbor, and he is going to debut his play on the front porch of his house! This of course has House Phiarlan up in arms, as no lowly miller should even contemplate acting, and especially not in Coin Lord territory!

Trouble is brewing between these two houses, especially if the Coin Lords allow this miller to stage the performance.

Your mission: Prevent a major incident from occurring between the two houses.

Optional quest: Return a wayward Iron Defender to a forlorn Artificer.

[drwho1985]

I can't remember what happens..........

[DrWily]

Acid Twit: Some twit taught some trogoldytes how to use acid and you have to kill them before they destroy the Twelve's tower. Basically the same quest

Through a Mirror Dorkly: A Shade Wizard with 6 Int uses a nether scroll to create a Wonderland ripoff and you have to stop him before he can summon the purple mist of laggy doom.

Wrath of the Fame: Malicia the succubus has become so famous her admirers (you) are trying to get her autograph, and possibly more: it's up to you (also you) to stop them.

[LrdSlvrhnd]

Oh no, he did it again!

Who did what, you ask?

Haywire... he left the stove going. The really unfortunate part is, he got one of the Necromatic Cauldrons from House Szind, and it's on the burner! Fight your way past a horde of undead, through an absurdly complex locking system, and destroy the cauldron before The Truthful One appears!

[Sir_Noob]

Rumours have surfaced that Teh_Troll's whereabouts has been discovered.
You are sent on a mission to comb the underground lairs in House Phiarlan to save this once frequent contributor to the DDO forum.
Can you save him before his captors find a way to add nipples to him?

[Sir_Noob]

You and your buds are tasked to see if you can have at least one drink in each tavern in Stormreach.
Can you remember them all?
Do you have the stomach of a dwarf?
Lead your group on the epic adventure of the Stormreach Pub Crawl.

[vryxnr]

Sometimes life gives you lemons... and sometimes those lemons have bite... literally!

A heatwave has struck stormreach, but The Lemon Queen is in town, so all seems well. She is holding a festival to help parch the terrible thirst suffered by this hot weather, and you have joined in the fun! You must find the best ingredients in the land to make the best lemonade ever!! Once you gather your ingredients, it's time to make some lemonade! But this is not just a thirst quencher, this is a competition against the Lemon Queen herself! This is a timed quest where you must find the ingredients, defeat their guardians, and perform a ritual. Your rewards will be based on your score, determined by the quality of your ingredients divided by the time it took you to complete the quest. But beware! If your refreshing concoction is too good, the Lemon Queen will become jealous, and start a to-the-death bonus round (raid) where she goes berserk and starts turning people into living, ravenous lemons! Save the people, destroy the lemons that are beyond saving, prevent sour-face from becoming a permanent mark on the good folks of stormreach, and put the Lemon Queen away for her sudden bout of insanity!

[Vooduspyce]

Caught in the Wed - After luring you in with her sweet whispers of ambrosia, you wed Malicia only to find out now she wants you to constantly fix up the house, mow the lawn, shop for curtains and listen to her feelings, leaving no time left to play DDO :(

Mower Play - House Jurasco has a big lawn and someone's got to do the upkeep. And that someone is you! Race against time on your riding mower, battling chiggers and mosquitoes and finish the job before the evil crab grass and kudzu overtake you.

[Powskier]

You and your buds are tasked to see if you can have at least one drink in each tavern in Stormreach.
Can you remember them all?
Do you have the stomach of a dwarf?
Lead your group on the epic adventure of the Stormreach Pub Crawl.

I'm way past drinkin heavy ,but I'd like to slug along for the crawl..St pactrics day ? or wait for Octoberfest officially?

[F2PPremiumLeech]

Lords of Bust
You and your fellow judges must choose a new Ms Stormreach

[Calinthus]

The Flaunted Halls of Eveningstar-- Someone has stolen all the most treasured pieces of history, art, and literature from Cormyr's greatest museum. Which happens to be in Eveningstar. Your quest is to track down the thieves, and recover all the stolen items.
Monsters would include..... All of them. Bwahahahaha!!!!

[Eth]

Rumors in Amrath have spread about the cause of Thuriel's madness.
Archons don't like to be wet, but nowhere can his beloved towel be found.
Can you solve the mystery of the archon's missing towel in the battlegrounds of shavarath?

[cdbd3rd]

How many letters is one? Me thinks somebodies didn't quite read (or at least follow) the rules of the OP ;)

Ah, see that's the thing about |rules| ... they sometimes just be more like ~guidelines~. ;)

[BD_]

Rumors in Amrath have spread about the cause of Thuriel's madness.
Archons don't like to be wet, but nowhere can his beloved towel be found.
Can you solve the mystery of the archon's missing towel in the battlegrounds of shavarath?

Zaphod stole it and is using it, among (many) other uses, as a weapon.

[PermaBanned]

Ah, see that's the thing about |rules| ... they sometimes just be more like ~guidelines~. ;)

Arrrr! Ye got me there, matey!

[bartharok]

A group of young trolls have been caught with their hands in the halfling-jar. Can you get their parents to forgive them before they get caned again?

[Stoner81]

Yarkuch's Bar Plan

Yarkuch has decided to organise a knees up in the local tavern and is about to attack a brewery to steal all the bear... stop him!

Stoner81.

[donblas]

Can you convince the customer support daemons to give you back your lost items before you run out of health or plat?

[Vooduspyce]

The Meal and the Demon - Sit down to a candlelight dinner with Queen Lailat, where you'll discuss personal aspirations and introspections.

I Dream of Jets - You've secretly always wanted to be a fighter pilot. Now you can make it a virtual reality in this new IQ capstone high speed aerial thriller!

Prey on the Punter - DDO and NFL Football finally meet! You won't believe what happens.

Beyond the Gift - You'll explore the true meaning of holiday spirit and discover that it's the thought that counts.

Tomb of the Slighted - This inornate and rather mundane dungeon is crawling with undead that are angry about not getting the attention they deserve.

[schelsullivan]

Brothels of the Forge

Warforged sorcerer Talbron Tewn has received a mysterious invitation to loose his virginity at the Mournlands brothel. You and your group of virgins attempt to become grown up men (or machines). Do you have what it takes? (some plat and about 5 minutes)

[schelsullivan]

Rest Stoop

The Harpers have learned that Oriphaun hid one of the Nether Scroll pieces inside a ruined castle that adventurers often use as a camping spot.
Take the High Road to Beckside Castle and just hang out on the front stoop while the real adventures enter to find the hidden scroll piece.

[schelsullivan]

A Cry for Hemp

You hear a voice calling for hemp from deep within the encampment that was heavily guarded by zakya cultists. It is safe to assume you stoners will encounter quite a bit of resistance from these cultists as you attempt to find some weed to help Lothar the Insidious, chill out, and not be so distressed. Call your dude and hook a fella up at once! Dont get busted by Jailer Koki!

[ForgettableNPC]

The Maze of Radness

Get your skates and improvised skateboards ready, it's time to get radical!
Maneuver your way through kick-tastic obstacle courses and jump off some X-Treme ramps and perform wicked tricks!

Bonus points if you're wearing Heavy Armor.


Madstone Rater

Join the world-famous Madstone Rater as he annually checks the Madstone Crystals around the Ruins of Gianthold!

Watch him rate Madstone based on their density!
Watch him rate Madstone based on their effectiveness!
Watch him give sub-par ratings on not-so-great Madstones!

How exciting!


Cream Conspiracy

One day you're just taking a bite out of one of the Festivult Jester's magical cookies and-what's this? One of the cupcakes has no cream! Oh no! Whatever will we do without the cream icing on the delicious cupcake? Now it'll only Heal Minor Wounds rather than Light!

After extensive detective work, you have determined that someone else stole the cream from the cupcake from the cookie jar! Now you must question every individual in Stormreach and decide on who's truly foul enough to commit such a conspiracy against you.


The Faster Artificer (Meh, someone already did this title)

It's the Annual Cannith Marathon! And many of Cannith's Guards and Artificers are lined up determined to win the Gold Alchemical Cup! But uh-oh! Looks like Toven d'Cannith is up to no good once again! Can you stop his various creations and schemes to interfere and sabotage the race and take the trophy for himself?

The Lord of Blames

The Lord of Blades has started accusing everyone in town for various illicit misdeeds! But for what reason? I dunno, that's your job to find out, not mine!


The Lord of Dyes

Belashyrra's acting up (again, sigh) but instead of infesting the world with his ocular aberrations, he has instead decided to dye the world with purple and pink, the colors of Xoriat! Stop him before he colors the entirety of Stormreach purple-pink!

Granted, the colors would be mesmerizing, but you feel it would look ridiculous and the ambiance would totally clash with the outfits you have planned to wear for the Summer, and that's no good.


Fashion Sadness

Yaulthoon has decided to run his own fashion show in the cities of Stormreach! But he has received quite negative reviews, such as:

"The hat was terrible at bringing out their eyes."
"Did you pull these out of the dumpster or something?"
"Please tell the models to stop spewing acid on me."
"OH GOD IT BURNS WHY."
"The eyes....the eyes!"
"Ugh, that sweater was SO last century."

And have started to go on a rampage through the streets of Stormreach in angst. You know the drill, go hack-and-slash at stuff.


The Pawn of Whisperdoom

Whisperdoom the spider has been going through tough times, so she started pawning off her possessions.

The downside is that she's been pawning off some of her poisons and eggs, so you're starting to see spellcasting spiders and poisoned water supplies by generic third-rate villains everywhere.

Also Whisperdoom lost one of her chess pieces, so she wants you to go look for it while you're dealing with all the other stuff.


A Study in Table

Turns out while you were going on adventures throughout Eberron, when you received the Coin Lord Finishing School Training, it only provided half the credits you needed for the actual diploma!

Put on your Concentration Items, your best Clever items, and maybe a True Seeing or two, because you're going back to school to study off the other half!

[streep101]

And there are a few that I won't touch for fear of getting banned:

The Snitch
The Temple Outpost: Captives of the Cult
An Explosive Situation
The Thrill of the Hunt

You should be banned for making me think dirty thoughts!

[streep101]

Morely Blode is harvesting pears for nefarious purposes! Can you find out what he is up to? Can you stop him? Well, can you?

[BD_]

A Freak in the Ice: House Phiarlan's circus freak has been encased in ice. It's up to you to rescue him.

Come out and Play: Warriors only.

Disciples of Shart(ing): Cultists slipped some laxitives in Stormreach's water supply...

Finding the Math: You must correctly calculate the DPS of all party members and post it to the forums.

Hire on Thunder Peak: It's just like Fire on Thunderpeak, except everyone has to pop a hire and keep it alive.

Home Sweet Ewer: Scrag lost his magical ewer that sweetens the taste of all drinks and pays you to find it for him.

Reaver's Fete: We're gonna party like its FR99...

Hat Goes Up - alternate title Misery's Pike: You just graduated and must throw your hat up into the air at the end of the graduation speech. The only problem: Elminster is giving the speech...

Ruined Calls: Someone has been chopping down cell phone towers. It's up to you to find and stop them.

****ing in Action - alternate title Storm the Breeches: Someone put some potent diuretics in House Deneith's water supply. It's up to you to find the source and stop them - too bad you already drank the water.

Trial by "Fore!": Somehow your ball keeps landing in the driving range and you have to play it as it lies.

[DrWily]

The Reaver's Mate: Help the Stormreaver find love.

Breaking the Banks: You and your group of merry men break into all the banks in Ebberon/FR. STEAL ALL THE THINGS!!!

The Dreaming Dork: <insert storyline here>

Escort the Sexpedition: Your favorite npc Coyle Lovell is paying you to escort him. He ends up falling in love with you (his last name is Lovell for a reason.)

The Lord of Stoned: It's drugs. Not Xorian madness. Just drugs.

Fresh Maker's Laboratory: Infiltrate Mentos' Laboratory to stop from making everyone's breath in Stormreach minty-fresh. Wait a second, wouldn't that be a good thing?

[Lemdog]

Escort the Sexpedition: Your favorite npc Coyle Lovell is paying you to escort him. He ends up falling in love with you

:O

im gonna have nightmares :P

[ForgettableNPC]

Escort the Sexpedition: Your favorite npc Coyle Lovell is paying you to escort him. He ends up falling in love with you (his last name is Lovell for a reason.)


Oh in the name of the Dark Six why.

Curse you, Dr. Wily! Only a mind as evil as yours could come up with something like this!

Now go back to making Robot Masters.

[evilgardengnome]

Zaphod stole it and is using it, among (many) other uses, as a weapon.

It's used as a whip, leaving you covered in welts

[drwho1985]

A warforged from the 24th century needs your help in his quest to become human. His evil twin brother has other plans.

[Vooduspyce]

Clown to Bits - A maleficent cabal clown is running amok in Stormreach. Cut him down to size before he squirts another citizen in the face with his water squirting flower gag!

[Tesrali]

Kobolds drinkin and gettin distracted

[Tesrali]

Stop Dr. Rushmore before he floods it!

[Tesrali]

Defend Ronan from a racoon and some guy named Star-Lord.

[der_kluge]

Tainted beer has infected the cove, giving all the pirates horrible diarrhea! It's up to you to find the source of this problem, and put a stop to it once and for all!

[Skunk_City]

Let's face it, if you lived in a town full of vampires, werewolves, and the walking dead.. where cats fly, bears mate with owls, trees walk around, and there's a dragon living in the well.. YOU'D BE HITTING THE SAUCE TOO.
So head on down to the Lonesome Tankard inn and join us, because we're not just on a mission.. we're on a QUEST!
Check your intelligence at the door and put your constitution and fortitude saves to the test, as we embark on HIGH adventure: filled with bluffing, balance and perception checks, maybe even some diplomacy.
Expect brawls-a-plenty and don't forget your potions of poison neutralization, as it's: The Bottle for Eveningstar!

[Chaoscheerio]

The Sound of Xoriat

Still a raid, entrance is the same as Hound of Xoriat.
Now that Xyzzy has been slain the chamber where we fought her in has largely been unused for quite a long time. An elder beholder called The Captain has decided that this will not do, and the only logical usage of the chamber is... a massive concert! But how will he build the stage and get an audience? And who will play the music? This is where the raid steps in.

Phase 1: Building the stage
The Captain has decided that the best way to make a stage is to obviously use living floor tiles! The raid must work together to solve a massive puzzle that stretches out over the entire area of the map. All while the floor tiles are coming alive and hurling insults at you. Destroy the rogue floor tiles, solve the puzzle, and the tiles will agree to become your stage!

Phase 2: Finding Musicians
The Captain will open four portals to a variety of locations where you must seek out the most musically talented among the creatures located there. The catch is that they all believe they're the best! The raid will need to separate into multiple groups to find them all at the right time, otherwise the musicians will get bored when they arrive at the stage, and leave, forcing you to do it all over again. Each room has a specific puzzle to solve based on the residents.
Room 1: The Drummer - Four Hezrou are locked in competition figuring out which one is stronger. It is up to you to find the strongest by giving them all drums, and withstanding large constant sonic damage until all other hezrou tire out and you are left with the victor.
Room 2: The Guitarist - Three Flesh Renders greet you here. They already know they can shred, but can they shred on a guitar? In a change from most quests, it is up to the party to send the Flesh Renders through a gauntlet of traps. The group manages which traps spawn, and only one render may survive, but he has to survive. If all three die, or if more than one are left alive, the renders will respawn with either a buff or debuff depending on whether they died or survived, making further runs more difficult. Who among the raid is the best dungeon master?
Room 3: The Vocalist - Two Mindflayers are locked in mental combat with one another and it is up to you to enter their minds and help one or the other become victorious. While in their minds you will be swarmed with bats all armed with Greater Shout, and it is up to you to lead them through a maze to shout the other mindflayer to death. Upon exiting their minds, the surviving mindflayer will not only be willing to help you, but will suddenly be armed with the knowledge of Greater Shout... curious.
Room 4: The Surprise Guest - Entering this portal takes you... outside the raid? In the subterrane another beholder named Maria is waiting for you. She challenges you to a music contest! She is only able to be damaged by Sonic damage or weapons that deal sonic damage. Maria herself uses a unique set of bagpipes that deal damage of varying elements, but sonic damage is always included. Sometimes her music will add random effects such as stat draining, blindness, or...nausea. When you get her HP low enough she will agree to assist you.

When all 4 musicians are assembled in the main chamber they will take their place on the stage... but there's no audience to play for! So they will sit and be angry.

Phase 3: The Audience
The Captain has decided that the very best audience ever would have to be a group of mindless undead! He opens a massive portal from which wave upon wave of living beings will appear. Your task is to slay them as close as you can to the Captain, who will then raise them as undead. You must reach a certain number of undead before this phase is considered complete. But be wary! The newly raised undead are in the mood to mosh, and will assault the closest living person to them! They are also capable of being harmed, so you must watch their HP and try not to kill them, all while simultaneously slaying more and more living creatures near the Captain. What fun!

Phase 4: The Grand Finale
The raid gets to take a break while listening to the show! But it is cut short... as it seems that the Captain was not completely honest about his intentions. After the end of the show he devours all of the band and absorbs their musical might, transforming him into floating noisebox of DOOM! The raid must deal with multiple phases of one final boss fight as the Captain unleashes his newfound might against you, all while now dealing with an angry horde of undead!
Phase 1: The Horde
The Captain unleashes the angry audience upon you, mostly just because they were annoying him. But he fuels their anger by playing the drums... poorly. A clatter of noise causes increasing sonic damage over time, while adding sonic damage to every zombie's already powerful melee. When every zombie is slain, phase 2 begins.
Phase 2: Shred ALL the things
The Captain pulls out a guitar and stuns the entire raid for 10 seconds. During this time he summons traps that must be disabled immediately or they will tear apart the raid with massive slashing damage. The Captain is still unable to be harmed during this time. Once every trap is disabled or the raid is dead, phase 3 either begins or the entire raid releases and cries.
Phase 3: Bleeding Ears
Finally, the Captain becomes able to be damaged, as he begins to let his guard down. After another period of stunning the group for 10 seconds he summons a backing choir of mindflayers while he belts his heart out. During this phase he is vulnerable to weapon damage, but unable to be harmed by sonic. His shouting is not sonic damage, but force. The mindflayers will constantly use Greater Shout on the group from every direction, and if they are killed it will cause The Captain to deal increasing damage with his own shouting. When he reaches 50% HP the next phase will begin, and his mindflayers will disappear.
Phase 4: The Sound of Xoriat
The Captain senses that he is losing this fight and calls upon the Bagpipes of Despair for one final showdown. His bagpipes function similarly to Maria's, but deal much more damage and cause even more random effects. At the beginning of the phase every raid member is inflicted with a permanent Crushing Despair effect.
Random effects:
Unsaveable 2 second stun on all raid members
-10 stats to all raid members for 20 seconds
Summons a high HP dancing flesh render that must be destroyed within 10 seconds. If it is not, the dancing effect wears off and the render is fully healed. While the render remains alive in this state, The Captain will gain a 100% damage increase buff. This buff stacks if there are multiple renders.
Summons a choir of Mindflayers that will cast greater shout until they are destroyed.

When The Captain reaches 1% HP he will finish off with a grand finale, dealing 250 damage to all raid members. If any raid members are killed, he will be healed by 5% per raid member killed. He only performs Grand Finale once.

THE END.


I have clearly put too much thought into this.