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Fallingleafe
05-19-2013, 04:57 AM
“I fear the day when the technology overlaps with our humanity. The world will only have a generation of idiots.” ~ Albert Einstein


Below relates to DDO and is my way of explaining what the point I wish to describe in terms I am familiar. Feel free to skip below to THE MAIN POINT, if you are not in a particularly reading mood.


With current technological advances, we have knowledge at our fingertips. We, as a human species, with our vast power of technology fueled by a myriad of geniuses across the globe, have the capacity to enable each and every last human being to have a place to call "home", healthcare, education and food.

But yet, this is not the case.

The greatest tragedy of Man is that he is just as likely to raise his hand to strike down his brother than he is to extend his hand to help him.

We live in a world dominated by ideals of selfishness, self-empowering and the now seemingly holy idea of "getting ahead". In a world where intelligent or cultured conversation is almost considered taboo to many a youth; where our self image and social status is more important than how we treat each other; where decent men and women resign themselves to accepting "what is", the immoral and unjust will continue to happen.


Now how does this relate to DDO? It relates to DDO as it does to all games and indeed to all parts of life.
This is because there exists two great fallacies of thought in the modern era, those being:

1) That life is a race, a contest, with each and every human being pitted against each other for supremacy - or in DDO terms, that every player is pitted against each other, as if DDO is a pure PVP game.

2) "If my life is good and I see no wrong, then there is no wrong". If you are happy, if you enjoy luxuries and are content with life, then nothing is wrong, right? The system works, life is good, everything is hunky dory.


The society that we are forced to live and grow up in pounds these ideals into us, thus appropriately we carry these same ideas with us everywhere, including into DDO.


THE MAIN POINT

---

DDO is a game. A way for many to enjoy their free time and momentarily escape the confines of reality. Yet, real people are behind those characters in game that you fight alongside. Real people are the ones who sit down after a long day, with their own troubles and problems, worries and doubts, and then receive an ear full of hateful rage from an elitist player who is completely unforgiving of any shred of weakness or - to their absolute horror - "wasting their time".

No, I have not recently had an elitist player shout at me and am venting onto the forums because of it. But I do indeed see it happen often to many other players, hear of it often, and it has become the norm. How many of you are familiar with the following examples?


*Player A has joined the party*
(Player A says): Hello share please
*Player A has been dismissed from the party.

*Player A has joined the party*
(Player A says): Hello what house?
*Player A has been dismissed from the party.

*Player A has joined the party*
(Player A says): Hello, buffing and omw
*Player A has been dismissed from the party*
(Player B says): ??? Why?
(Player C says): we are about to start and buffing takes too long and if you need to buff for this quest you are a noob anyway

---

In DDO, as in life, many of us have the tendency to treat anyone who begins to remotely differ in opinion, skill level or talent to us as below us, with undeserved hostility. We have become so engrossed with our own image, with "me", with "my time" and "my happiness" that we forget that human beings are social animals, and we work infinitely better as a united collective than a mass of single entities under the delusion of hyper individualism - not in the form of personality, but in the form of acting on ones own, separate from all others.

And this is where the "action in DDO" part comes into it.
DDO - like life - is not a PVP game.
We are not pitted against each other.

It takes no genius to understand that there is something terribly wrong with how we live, how we treat others and what we view as "right". Indeed, many people may agree to the fact that society, poverty, war, greed on a colossal scale, the way minorities and those "different" are treated but simply say "yes, it is wrong, but what can we do about it?"

Even if it does nothing but make you and the person you are helping feel better about themselves, you can start by improving the general atmosphere in DDO.
These are real people you are playing with. A small praising comment, an act of generosity, kind words and understanding are all things grotesquely undervalued in today's world.
People I personally have given advice to, helped with quests or favour grinding, with passing very rare items in chests or just gave them something that they needed, are often astounded at this, as if generosity is a crime.
DDO is a game in which we must work together to accomplish tasks, to complete raids and quests. Think about that before you roll on an item that you do not really need, but that wizard in your party is desperately seeking.

This pattern of being surprised at friendly advice and help, at being afraid to ask for directions or to seek knowledge has been on the increase since I started playing DDO some years ago. And not only in DDO, as it seems to be commonly accepted that forgiveness, understanding, an open mind, that "the right thing" is simply "uncool".
And this way of thinking is nothing but destructive and needs to end.


Unsure as to how you can help improve the general atmosphere in DDO for all players, or why it even matters?
Being extremely negative and hostile to new players drives them away. New players are far less likely to keep playing a game if the gaming community is hostile and aggressive towards them in their first experiences. Everybody can easily see where that road will lead to for DDO, the game that you play.

Know the latest coupon code in the DDO store? Share it with friends, strangers, your raid group.
Bored and have nothing to run? Why not be that elite opener that the level 7 ranger in the lfg has been politely hoping to get for thirty minutes.
Host a PUG learning quest or raid. Give away items. Sell things on the AH for a pittance. And you can do all this with a smile, not just because you are helping someone, but because you will be helping those who need help, to the chagrin of those elitists who will scream at you for ruining their "economy", at those who hoard items - such as large devil scales - and sell them on the AH for extortionate prices when supply gets low, just so that they can further their own wealth and "get ahead" by exploiting their fellow Man.


Be generous. Perform random acts of kindness. Offer praise. It is not "uncool", it is not taboo. It does not make you weak.
It is the right thing to do.
Changing DDO, changing life, how we feel about each other and ourselves starts with ourselves and how we act.

Open up to newer players, do not be so harsh and quick on judgement - both in DDO and in life - and remember that we all had to start at the beginning and we all end at the same place. No race, no eternal winners.


If you actually read this then I both thank and congratulate you for taking the time to do so.

Silverleafeon
05-19-2013, 07:56 AM
...

+1

AzB
05-19-2013, 08:08 AM
Very deep, and pretty much right on.

DynaTheCat
05-19-2013, 01:34 PM
Be generous. Perform random acts of kindness. Offer praise. It is not "uncool", it is not taboo. It does not make you weak.
It is the right thing to do.

Random acts of kindness infuriate and confuse me! Let me remain a beast!!! RAWRAWRAWR

Cerata
05-19-2013, 01:35 PM
Indeed - well put!

Ryiah
05-19-2013, 03:27 PM
“I fear the day when the technology overlaps with our humanity. The world will only have a generation of idiots.” ~ Albert Einstein

The issue has never been with people being unable to learn but with people being unwilling to learn. Occasionally I perform computer repairs for people in my area and the majority of them are simply issues that they seem to constantly acquire. I try my best to explain the situation and how to fix the problem should it arise again. Most of them understood the process but were unwilling to keep it in mind long enough to remember the month or two later that it occurred again.

Charononus
05-19-2013, 03:29 PM
http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/wall_of_text_1664.gif

Deadlock
05-19-2013, 04:20 PM
http://i35.tinypic.com/rgw94h.jpg


Now how does this relate to DDO? It relates to DDO as it does to all games and indeed to all parts of life.
This is because there exists two great fallacies of thought in the modern era, those being:

1) That life is a race, a contest, with each and every human being pitted against each other for supremacy - or in DDO terms, that every player is pitted against each other, as if DDO is a pure PVP game.

2) "If my life is good and I see no wrong, then there is no wrong". If you are happy, if you enjoy luxuries and are content with life, then nothing is wrong, right? The system works, life is good, everything is hunky dory.


The society that we are forced to live and grow up in pounds these ideals into us, thus appropriately we carry these same ideas with us everywhere, including into DDO.


Everyone is not the same. Not all players are equal. Some people earn our respect and friendship and other people are arrogant morons who earn disdain and get squelched.

Comparing an MMO to real-life and our interactions with one another is fundamentally flawed. If you're in any doubt, compare the simple situation of someone in a car shouting and swearing at someone who has just cut them up at a junction or stepped out infront of them. You can see that any day of the week. In most cases, there is no way that these people would behave like that if they didn't have the "protection" of a car separating them. Now take an MMO and you not only have extended geography, but the anonymity that comes with the virtual world we share.

My default position is chilled and relaxed most of the time, but not all of the time. If you join a party that says *BYOH, know it, etc etc* and then proceed to ask "Which house?" to a Vale quest then there's a fair chance I'll boot you - or step in, zerg ahead and die in seconds before the rest of the party have arrived, then hell yeah I'll boot you and squelch you. If you send me a tell first saying you don't really know the quest but are keen to learn and can follow instructions, then you will get a massive amount of slack from me.

So if you're a newbie, then I'll let you away with murder. If you're a noob then I'll smite you quicker than you can say "SHARE" to a walk-up.

Vint
05-19-2013, 04:28 PM
In DDO, as in life, many of us have the tendency to treat anyone who begins to remotely differ in opinion, skill level or talent to us as below us, with undeserved hostility. We have become so engrossed with our own image, with "me", with "my time" and "my happiness" that we forget that human beings are social animals, and we work infinitely better as a united collective than a mass of single entities under the delusion of hyper individualism - not in the form of personality, but in the form of acting on ones own, separate from all others.

I stopped after you typed “undeserved”.

If people join an elitist LFM, what do they expect when they are worthless to the group? Yeah yeah, human kindness and all of that, but do not paint the picture that it is undeserved when it more than likely is.

I treat people the way they treat me. If they could care less about respecting my LFM why should I show them any respect? Go ahead and label me as a jerk, but the initial guy is just as bad for not showing respect for what the group was looking for.

One other thing. If you do not have that me me attitude, then come mow my yard. If you all for doing to others then you should have no problem wasting your time for me.

backandforth
05-19-2013, 04:53 PM
*Player A has joined the party*
(Player A says): Hello share please
*Player A has been dismissed from the party.

*Player A has joined the party*
(Player A says): Hello what house?
*Player A has been dismissed from the party.



The rule is a person to join the party and just say "share".
It creates a different feeling to the leader than saying "Hello everybody!How are you?Would you mind sharing the quest please?".

RightToRemainStupid
05-19-2013, 10:39 PM
If you actually read this then I both thank and congratulate you for taking the time to do so.

Just a few observations (no pun intended).

I think there are a lot of illusions at play governing how we see ourselves in the universe. We only seem to exist to make observations of the universes we have inherited. Life is by nature competetive, which is why we are able to occupy this particular level of complexity and analyze it. I shared your feelings, it seems unfair that advances always channel even more intense activity, rather than granting respite. But I think the idea that we can be anything other than that which we are, might be an illusion. To what degree we as observers can conspire to influence this, is anyone's guess. What I've just written is probably pure gibberish.

Check out the Anthropic Principle if you haven't already, you can draw your own conclusions: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthropic_principle

MiniKobold
05-20-2013, 09:45 AM
I am in agreement with the original poster. I do not believe he was talking about people who refuse to listen, but people who new to the game. I think we also have to be understanding that not everyone knows all the "DDO Lingo." For the longest time I thought byoh was people shortening "booyah!" I later learned its meaning, but for a while I just thought we had really excited, happy people in DDO. ;)

But really, it is sad when people get kicked out of groups for LFMs for simple reasons like their hitpoints are a bit low or they couldn't remember which house the quest was. Just take a moment to type House J or maybe help them redo their build. My first DDO toon was awful. A barbarian/ranger/rogue with a lot of dex, intelligence, very little con and strength. (I cringe when I think of how bad it was.) I made it to level 16 like this after spending most of my time as a soul-stone. Then a cleric decided to reevaluate my build with me, gave me some gear, and now we are both in game friends who quest a lot. I am still learning, of course, but that small act really changed my mind about staying in DDO or quitting. Even just giving some simple pieces of advice can make a difference like, "did you know you can put potions and weapons on your hotbars so you are not always searching through your inventory?"

The OP is correct. DDO is a game of teamwork. We would all be better off if everyone had better gear, knew some tips and tricks, and played in a friendly environment. Sure there will be people who you will not always get along with or play styles you don't like (for me it is typically uber dps, zerg, groups) but I now know to avoid them. At the end of the day DDO is a game and you should not have to feel intimidated or get screamed at over a mic for joining a group and asking questions. :)

voodoogroves
05-20-2013, 09:49 AM
Boss of mine used to say ...

The most valuable thing you can ever give anyone and anyone can give you is time. Their time, not wasting your time, etc. Time is the one thing you can't get any more of.


Ah well. Most people are also fairly myopic in their view of who's time is more valuable and have their own opinions about how some investments pay out in reality. Maybe getting those ship buffs prevents a death and a 3 minute detour, maybe not.

danotmano1998
05-20-2013, 10:27 AM
Be generous. Perform random acts of kindness. Offer praise. It is not "uncool", it is not taboo. It does not make you weak.
It is the right thing to do.



Good post.
Above all, have FUN! It's a game.

Talon_Moonshadow
05-20-2013, 11:17 AM
/steps out of the shadows.
/picks up Fallingleafe's white hat off of the ground and dusts the boot prints off of it.
/places it back onto his head.
/shakes his hand and says thank you.

sebastianosmith
05-20-2013, 01:01 PM
How about we just boil it all down to an exercise in common courtesy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_courtesy) and reciprocal ethics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Golden_Rule)? Dissociative anonymity (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_disinhibition_effect) doesn't have to breed D-Baggery in every instance.

Whenever passions run hot, just think of these:

http://thepugdog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/sixpuppies-e1276290984692.png

You can't stay mad at that, can you?

DynaTheCat
05-20-2013, 01:54 PM
I stopped after you typed “undeserved”.

If people join an elitist LFM, what do they expect when they are worthless to the group? Yeah yeah, human kindness and all of that, but do not paint the picture that it is undeserved when it more than likely is.

I treat people the way they treat me. If they could care less about respecting my LFM why should I show them any respect? Go ahead and label me as a jerk, but the initial guy is just as bad for not showing respect for what the group was looking for.

One other thing. If you do not have that me me attitude, then come mow my yard. If you all for doing to others then you should have no problem wasting your time for me.

You're so **** evil.

APPROVED.

Blackfire1
05-20-2013, 08:48 PM
Is this thread still about the old "Hail and Welcome" insults people through around for so many years?