Higgs Boson discovered...

[sirgog]

...it was behind the couch the whole time.

Post some of the awful physics jokes you've heard in the last 24 hours here.

[PopeJual]

A Higgs boson went into a church and the priest told him, "We don't let your kind in here!"

The Higgs boson replied, "Without me, you can't have mass."

[AZgreentea]

Rene Descartes walks into a bar. He sits down and the bar tender asks him if he would like a drink. He replies "I think not." and ceases to exist.

Wait, thats not physics.

[MeliCat]

Oh perfect place to post some of the funniest stuff (I have too many science friends in my fb feed...)

On a picture of Piccard:
"5 Sigma level of assurance of Higgs Boson Exsistance
...
Top story on Yahoo: Justin Beiber having a temper tantrum"



"
Dear Science,

I still love you. May I see your bosons?

Love,

"


(posted with a LOL from a science journal editor I know... I can just imagine what his email inbox is like right now)

picture of Samuel L Jackson in Pulp Fiction:

"SAY GOD PARTICLE.."

(the gun is pointed right at you)

"ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME"

[Contrex]

Ahem. A new boson has been discovered, to confirm it as the Higgs it needs to have a spin of 0. We don't know that yet.

It's a huge accomplishment either way, but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves.

[BitkaCK2]

Two atoms were walking across a road when one of them said, "I think I lost an electron!" "Really!" the other replied, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I 'm absolutely positive."

BONUS!
http://web.mit.edu/mna/Public/blonde_equation(2).jpg

bitkaCK2

PS: Stephen Hawking owes me $100. >.>

[CheeseMilk]

-I bet on a horse, and it lost by one particle width - it was a photon finish. I don't think it was fair, though, since they changed the outcome by watching it.


-A neutrino walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve neutrino in this bar."
The neutrino says, "Hey, I was just passing through."


-Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar.
And didn't.

[Postumus]

Publisher: "Hey Xeno, when are you gonna be finished with that new brain teaser?"

Xeno: "I'm half way there..."

Publisher: "That's what you said last week!"

[Buggss]

The bartender says "What can I get you?"

A neutrino walks into a bar....

[grgurius]

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender "How much costs a drink here".

Bartender replies "For you, no charge".

[Gridpain]

http://xkcd.com/401/

[Zeruell]

Post some of the awful physics jokes you've heard in the last 24 hours here.

Well, it's been a bit longer than 24 hours, but you asked for awful, so here goes:

A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, Professor! What if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?"
And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion! That's my wife!"

[grgurius]

I just remembered one more:

Newton, Pascal and Tesla are playing hide and seek. Its Teslas turn to seek, Pascal runs off to hide while Newton just stands there and draws a square around him self.

Tesla spots him right away saying "cmon Newton, you should be a genius and cant even hide properly"

What are you talking about? I'm Pascal.

[Ashbinder]

Entropy just isn't what it used to be.

[CheeseMilk]

On a side note...

The best part about physics jokes is, even though they're mostly just bad puns, you still feel a sense of superiority that you "get" them.

[Buggss]

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender "How much costs a drink here".

Bartender replies "For you, no charge".

Pffff, we all played New Vegas and saw that one :rolleyes:

[BruceTheHoon]

Entropy just isn't what it used to be.

Hehe, witty. I haven't heard that one before.


This one I've heard a while ago:
Why did a mathematician name his dog Cauchy?
Because he leaves a residue at every pole.

[MeliCat]

oops wrong thread :D will find another joke to put here!

[threefeetunder]

HeHeHe...
Gotta love helium jokes, but they never get much of a reaction.

[Zeruell]

HeHeHe...
Gotta love helium jokes, but they never get much of a reaction.

"HoHoHo" tends to get more sparks flying. In a crowd, at least.

[sephiroth1084]

Argon walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Hey! We don't serve noble gases here."
Argon doesn't react.

[Fomori]

A new guy at a poker game is being introduced to the other players. Three of the guys introduce themselves as Bottom, Charm, and Strange.

Later on the new guy asks the host, "Whats the deal with Bottom, Charm, and Strange. They seem pretty quarky to me."