Llewndyn
01-26-2011, 01:39 PM
Top 10 Ways to Save Time in DDO
Ah, that's the spot. Yep, good...how about a happy en- Oh, hi all! Llewndyn here, at my weekly massage therapy session at Helga's Massage Auto Body Repair Shop, with a great and fabulous top 10 list!
It happens to all of us: You log into the game, ready to spend a few hours standing by the vendor or offering insights as to why your dual shield wielding halfling monk/fighter/wizard is not a mock-worthy bastion of gimpitude to any that will listen or have not learned to squelch you yet, when it happens: That tell from someone you may or may not remember saying "O Llewndyn, with your pink beard of Righteousness guiding us through the dark times, folly of Aussircaex's doom, slayer of that one kobold that one time in Kobold assault before the other one killed you, please bestow your greatness upon us wretched masses, lend us that golden chunky chowder that hath healeth us so verily!" At least those are the tells I get.
You get them in missions, you get them while zoning, you get them while trying to buy masterwork rapiers, it can become harrowing. Fear not! For I am here to help you. Today's list is the top 10 ways to ensure no one bothers you with tells asking you along on missions after pugging with them, time tested by my crack team of sons with gimped builds!
10. Join a group as a solo healer, claim you have to do something "real quick" and go afk at a spawn point, requiring someone to guard you. Bonus points if you do that in friggin Chronoscope at level.
9. Say you are built for battle, then pass out buffs only to yourself. Only works if they are great buffs. Works even better if after giving yourself FOM, GH, Haste and all that if you rejoin group and cast merfolk's blessing
8. Respond to every question with a link to an "uber" item:
Player: Hey Llew can you pass me a heal? I am incapped right next to you.
Llewndyn: +1 Ghost Touch Light Mace of Grease
7. Ask for spells you know no one has, as someone did in an at level Depths mission last night: Orc:"Hey res me! I'm dying you moron!" Level 4 cleric: "Um....I don't have res scrolls" Orc: "What a gimp!" /ragequit
6. Die numerous times and then complain that the mission is taking so long: Last night my son was running Tempest Spine on his level 13 halfling wizard (who wears a full plate and wields a +1 Quarterstaff usually, and NOTHING else. 108 HP FTW!)My son = M -
P1: OK M where are you dead at?
M: Res me!
P2: We need to know where you are bud
M: Jeez this is taking forever!
P1: OK I am almost out of SP simply from ressing you, tell me where you are or I am leaving you.
M: Cry me a river!
Not sure why but that last line made me LOL. (Epilogue, I sent P1 some plat to cover the pots I saw him chuggin to keep my kid up and running)
5. Join an LFG asking for heals then claim you are a battle cleric and do not have heal spells (seriously)
4. Ask if your guildy who is 11 levels higher than the mission can come along when the LFG said "for xp". Complain that he would make the mission easier and then ragequit for extra class
3. inform the group that you don't carry pots because "That's the healer's job" in a VoN 5 run (be from a large guild like that particular player for extra pizzazz)
H*. Tell the group you are permadeath, go in and die immediately, then ask for a res.
2. Put up an LFG for Arachnaphobia (I will have an SS later today)
...and the number 1 reason to save time on DDO -
1. Join a "BYOH, Be Self Sufficient, No hand holding, zerg, be flagged" LFG and send the following in party chat:
SHR PLZ WRH is Mishun I'm PVP rite now brt when I-" *ding*
or even better:
Put up said LFG then ask the party how to get to the mission in between PVP deaths.
Until next time, zip it up and pop it to lock it!
Ah, that's the spot. Yep, good...how about a happy en- Oh, hi all! Llewndyn here, at my weekly massage therapy session at Helga's Massage Auto Body Repair Shop, with a great and fabulous top 10 list!
It happens to all of us: You log into the game, ready to spend a few hours standing by the vendor or offering insights as to why your dual shield wielding halfling monk/fighter/wizard is not a mock-worthy bastion of gimpitude to any that will listen or have not learned to squelch you yet, when it happens: That tell from someone you may or may not remember saying "O Llewndyn, with your pink beard of Righteousness guiding us through the dark times, folly of Aussircaex's doom, slayer of that one kobold that one time in Kobold assault before the other one killed you, please bestow your greatness upon us wretched masses, lend us that golden chunky chowder that hath healeth us so verily!" At least those are the tells I get.
You get them in missions, you get them while zoning, you get them while trying to buy masterwork rapiers, it can become harrowing. Fear not! For I am here to help you. Today's list is the top 10 ways to ensure no one bothers you with tells asking you along on missions after pugging with them, time tested by my crack team of sons with gimped builds!
10. Join a group as a solo healer, claim you have to do something "real quick" and go afk at a spawn point, requiring someone to guard you. Bonus points if you do that in friggin Chronoscope at level.
9. Say you are built for battle, then pass out buffs only to yourself. Only works if they are great buffs. Works even better if after giving yourself FOM, GH, Haste and all that if you rejoin group and cast merfolk's blessing
8. Respond to every question with a link to an "uber" item:
Player: Hey Llew can you pass me a heal? I am incapped right next to you.
Llewndyn: +1 Ghost Touch Light Mace of Grease
7. Ask for spells you know no one has, as someone did in an at level Depths mission last night: Orc:"Hey res me! I'm dying you moron!" Level 4 cleric: "Um....I don't have res scrolls" Orc: "What a gimp!" /ragequit
6. Die numerous times and then complain that the mission is taking so long: Last night my son was running Tempest Spine on his level 13 halfling wizard (who wears a full plate and wields a +1 Quarterstaff usually, and NOTHING else. 108 HP FTW!)My son = M -
P1: OK M where are you dead at?
M: Res me!
P2: We need to know where you are bud
M: Jeez this is taking forever!
P1: OK I am almost out of SP simply from ressing you, tell me where you are or I am leaving you.
M: Cry me a river!
Not sure why but that last line made me LOL. (Epilogue, I sent P1 some plat to cover the pots I saw him chuggin to keep my kid up and running)
5. Join an LFG asking for heals then claim you are a battle cleric and do not have heal spells (seriously)
4. Ask if your guildy who is 11 levels higher than the mission can come along when the LFG said "for xp". Complain that he would make the mission easier and then ragequit for extra class
3. inform the group that you don't carry pots because "That's the healer's job" in a VoN 5 run (be from a large guild like that particular player for extra pizzazz)
H*. Tell the group you are permadeath, go in and die immediately, then ask for a res.
2. Put up an LFG for Arachnaphobia (I will have an SS later today)
...and the number 1 reason to save time on DDO -
1. Join a "BYOH, Be Self Sufficient, No hand holding, zerg, be flagged" LFG and send the following in party chat:
SHR PLZ WRH is Mishun I'm PVP rite now brt when I-" *ding*
or even better:
Put up said LFG then ask the party how to get to the mission in between PVP deaths.
Until next time, zip it up and pop it to lock it!