Eberron News Flash: Thelanis Servers Once Controlled Sputnik

[Mindsynk]

Eberron News Network has learned that the Thelanis servers were purchased third hand from an underground Russian mafia member who liquidated much of the former republics outdated IT equipment in the worlds first known server scam. Reliable sources indicate that the systems that all Thelanites rely on for their every day peace and prosperity actually date back to the early 1960's and were once used in the Stalingrad Cosmodrome. Taking up the size of a small two car garage, the server has a massive 64 MB of memory and as recently as 1997 had its vacuum tubes replaced.

In an exclusive to ENN, former Cosmodrome Director, Euvginy Ripoffskev defends the reliability of Russian technology.

"The rumor that Russian technolgy was ever inherently suspect or unreliable are just lies propogated by western capitalists looking to sell more IBM. We have confidence that the server is working perfectly and has never had one instance of publicly admitted failure. We also have the same confidence in the rocket launchers ordered by the Turbine customer service department to deal with customer complaints. Contrary to American lies and slander, their is no truth to the recent statements that "The rocket launchers work in reverse more often than Russian made cars."

As a world and entire people teeter on the brink of annihilation, ENN will be there to bring the end of the universe as you know it. Be sure to stay tuned for more details, at least up to the point that you disentegrate into nothingness.

Reporting live from an empty hole in space, this in Eberron News Network.

[moorewr]

+1 for creative complaining. :)

[eclipsechild]

+1!!

[Dutch01]

Eberron News Network has learned that the Thelanis servers were purchased third hand from an underground Russian mafia member who liquidated much of the former republics outdated IT equipment in the worlds first known server scam. Reliable sources indicate that the systems that all Thelanites rely on for their every day peace and prosperity actually date back to the early 1960's and were once used in the Stalingrad Cosmodrome. Taking up the size of a small two car garage, the server has a massive 64 MB of memory and as recently as 1997 had its vacuum tubes replaced.

In an exclusive to ENN, former Cosmodrome Director, Euvginy Ripoffskev defends the reliability of Russian technology.

"The rumor that Russian technolgy was ever inherently suspect or unreliable are just lies propogated by western capitalists looking to sell more IBM. We have confidence that the server is working perfectly and has never had one instance of publicly admitted failure. We also have the same confidence in the rocket launchers ordered by the Turbine customer service department to deal with customer complaints. Contrary to American lies and slander, their is no truth to the recent statements that "The rocket launchers work in reverse more often than Russian made cars."

As a world and entire people teeter on the brink of annihilation, ENN will be there to bring the end of the universe as you know it. Be sure to stay tuned for more details, at least up to the point that you disentegrate into nothingness.

Reporting live from an empty hole in space, this in Eberron News Network.

The Thelanis server has also been proven to be the blueprint by which Stonehenge was designed after.

[moorewr]

Found in the draft script of _Terminator: Rise of the Machines_:


5:32 AM March 21, 2010: THELANIS BECOMES SELF-AWARE

[Dutch01]

Found in the draft script of _Terminator: Rise of the Machines_:

Well what do you know there it is right there:

http://hphotos-snc3.fbcdn.net/hs492.snc3/26902_1405742626435_1318482926_1155703_1801577_n.j pg

[moorewr]

Well what do you know there it is right there:

http://hphotos-snc3.fbcdn.net/hs492.snc3/26902_1405742626435_1318482926_1155703_1801577_n.j pg

Give ME YOUR BIKE AND YOUR CLOTHES

[Bladecutter563]

Am I the only one who giggled at 'Fatboy' in that image?

[Dutch01]

Am I the only one who giggled at 'Fatboy' in that image?

I think so! Mainly because Fatboy is the name given to that model of motorcycle by Harley.

[Pyromaniac]

Rofl

[Arlith]

Eberron News Network has learned that the Thelanis servers were purchased third hand from an underground Russian mafia member who liquidated much of the former republics outdated IT equipment in the worlds first known server scam. Reliable sources indicate that the systems that all Thelanites rely on for their every day peace and prosperity actually date back to the early 1960's and were once used in the Stalingrad Cosmodrome. Taking up the size of a small two car garage, the server has a massive 64 MB of memory and as recently as 1997 had its vacuum tubes replaced.

In an exclusive to ENN, former Cosmodrome Director, Euvginy Ripoffskev defends the reliability of Russian technology.

"The rumor that Russian technolgy was ever inherently suspect or unreliable are just lies propogated by western capitalists looking to sell more IBM. We have confidence that the server is working perfectly and has never had one instance of publicly admitted failure. We also have the same confidence in the rocket launchers ordered by the Turbine customer service department to deal with customer complaints. Contrary to American lies and slander, their is no truth to the recent statements that "The rocket launchers work in reverse more often than Russian made cars."

As a world and entire people teeter on the brink of annihilation, ENN will be there to bring the end of the universe as you know it. Be sure to stay tuned for more details, at least up to the point that you disentegrate into nothingness.

Reporting live from an empty hole in space, this in Eberron News Network.

1. Thelanians, not Thelanites. Not that I care, being Xorian not Thelanian.

2. Vacuum tubes are much more resilient to EMP. So while the server may suck now, it will be the only one running after WWIII. Gives you something to do in the fallout shelter. If your computer works. If you can find a phone line. The good news about this is, because a majority of the people on the planet should be dead, lag will be non-existent. Shroud pt 4 will finally be fixed, but you will be playing with the cockroaches.

3. Fun Fact: Those Sputnik servers were replaced with a TRS-80 Model 1. They were originally replaced with a CoCo, but there was a major incident that could have been averted if operators were not preoccupied with beating their supervisors high score in Rush 'n Assault.

4. Russian cars have no reverse. That is because there is no going back. Only moving forward into the glorious future awaiting Soviet Russia when the Great Revolution finally occurs.

[Anderei]

Sputnik wasn't controlled, there was nothing to control, it was a most simple stupid radio transmitter making nothing else than BEEPs. Nevertheless getting america scientists and military mad, because something was flying over their national territory making BEEP :)

[Adoraro]

Sputnik wasn't controlled, there was nothing to control, it was a most simple stupid radio transmitter making nothing else than BEEPs.
That's what we wanted you to believe! :D