LFM, Sorjack's, and an Apology

[paleodian]

I am a member of a very small (3 people) guild, and two nights ago our “leader” put up a LFM for some of the Reaver’s quests and Sorjack’s as we were attempting to complete the requirements for our Dragontouched. No one in the guild was familiar with the quests and as the group filled, one person who joined said that he had run them before and would be happy to act as guide.
To make a long story short, the party got their butts handed to them, and the person who offered to be guide was booted. It was not because of the guide that the party tanked, for he was being very sincere and doing the best he could. The party tanked because most were not listening to his advice, letting their ego’s run the quest, and doing whatever they wanted without teamwork or communication. However, the leader of my guild (my guild.....after that incidence that was really hard for me to say) flamed this guy so bad I was appalled. He began screaming at him and blaming him for the failure, and then booted him in mid-sentence as he was offering an explanation of the quest. Afterwards, he re-posted the LFM and ran the quest on CASUAL, all the while boasting about how much easier it was without the person he booted, never considering it was easier because he WAS ON CASUAL. It was all I could take.
I am posting this to an open forum because since this occurred, I have felt terrible about what was done. I should have spoke up as the flaming was occurring, and expressed how wrong it was to treat this person in that manner but I didn’t. Shame on me. I did not get your name, but if you are reading this, please accept my humble and sincere apology for the way my guild treated you. It was wrong on so many levels that I cannot even comprehend it. Just know that not everyone in the party agreed on your treatment, and as of today, I have left the guild. I will not associate or be associated with anyone or any group who thinks it’s OK to treat others in this manner.
We all play this game because we enjoy it, and for the most part we do enjoy it. However, there are those who are overly competitive, and have larger than life ego’s to overcome that can make it a nightmare at times. I am new to DDO, having joined in OCT. 2009, but was fortunate enough to pick up a mentor who is a top notch player to show me the ropes. Because of him, I know that for the most part, things will usually go Ok in a quest, but every once in a while, they go south and you tank. Do you blame someone else in the party for your failure? No, you pick up the pieces and move on, learn from the experience, and become a better player for it, hopefully paying forward the knowledge you acquired from the experience to others.
I still have a lot to learn from this game, and know that through trial and error and the gracious advice of those who have played much longer than me I will learn and become better, but I would never blame or flame another for my mistakes. So once again, if you are reading this, please accept my apology. It embarrasses me to no end to think that there was a guild name hanging over my head that you could associate with such rude treatment of others. Not everyone in this game is a jerk. Some of us actually play because we love it, and understand that when we fail, we only have ourselves to blame.

[KKDragonLord]

I am a member of a very small (3 people) guild, and two nights ago our “leader” put up a LFM for some of the Reaver’s quests and Sorjack’s as we were attempting to complete the requirements for our Dragontouched. No one in the guild was familiar with the quests and as the group filled, one person who joined said that he had run them before and would be happy to act as guide. To make a long story short, the party got their butts handed to them, and the person who offered to be guide was booted. It was not because of the guide that the party tanked, for he was being very sincere and doing the best he could. The party tanked because most were not listening to his advice, letting their ego’s run the quest, and doing whatever they wanted without teamwork or communication. However, the leader of my guild (my guild.....after that incidence that was really hard for me to say) flamed this guy so bad I was appalled. He began screaming at him and blaming him for the failure, and then booted him in mid-sentence as he was offering an explanation of the quest. Afterwards, he re-posted the LFM and ran the quest on CASUAL, all the while boasting about how much easier it was without the person he booted, never considering it was easier because he WAS ON CASUAL. It was all I could take.
I am posting this to an open forum because since this occurred, I have felt terrible about what was done. I should have spoke up as the flaming was occurring, and expressed how wrong it was to treat this person in that manner but I didn’t. Shame on me. I did not get your name, but if you are reading this, please accept my humble and sincere apology for the way my guild treated you. It was wrong on so many levels that I cannot even comprehend it. Just know that not everyone in the party agreed on your treatment, and as of today, I have left the guild. I will not associate or be associated with anyone or any group who thinks it’s OK to treat others in this manner. We all play this game because we enjoy it, and for the most part we do enjoy it. However, there are those who are overly competitive, and have larger than life ego’s to overcome that can make it a nightmare at times. I am new to DDO, having joined in OCT. 2009, but was fortunate enough to pick up a mentor who is a top notch player to show me the ropes. Because of him, I know that for the most part, things will usually go Ok in a quest, but every once in a while, they go south and you tank. Do you blame someone else in the party for your failure? No, you pick up the pieces and move on, learn from the experience, and become a better player for it, hopefully paying forward the knowledge you acquired from the experience to others. I still have a lot to learn from this game, and know that through trial and error and the gracious advice of those who have played much longer than me I will learn and become better, but I would never blame or flame another for my mistakes. So once again, if you are reading this, please accept my apology. It embarrasses me to no end to think that there was a guild name hanging over my head that you could associate with such rude treatment of others. Not everyone in this game is a jerk. Some of us actually play because we love it, and understand that when we fail, we only have ourselves to blame.

Nice Wall! what does it say?

Can it have, like, paragraphs and stuff?

[paleodian]

Nice Wall! what does it say?

Can it have, like, paragraphs and stuff?

Sorry KK. I'm using a computer at work, and while there are 5 paragraphs in the post, and they display as such in the edit box, the post will not dispaly with paragraphs when posted. I will fix this when I get home and on my home comp.

[Kaervas]

Leaving that guild was a good idea. Leader sounded like a real bastard.

I hope the guy who got booted sees your post by some chance, I feel sorry for him for what he had to endure.

[SolarDawning]

Paleodian, I wasn't there and was not involved, but you seem like a sincere and nice guy. If everyone playing this game was as courteous as you, it'd be a much nicer place. Thanks for doing the right thing with this post.

[KKDragonLord]

Sorry KK. I'm using a computer at work, and while there are 5 paragraphs in the post, and they display as such in the edit box, the post will not dispaly with paragraphs when posted. I will fix this when I get home and on my home comp.

No biggie, ill help:

I am a member of a very small (3 people) guild, and two nights ago our “leader” put up a LFM for some of the Reaver’s quests and Sorjack’s as we were attempting to complete the requirements for our Dragontouched. No one in the guild was familiar with the quests and as the group filled, one person who joined said that he had run them before and would be happy to act as guide.

To make a long story short, the party got their butts handed to them, and the person who offered to be guide was booted. It was not because of the guide that the party tanked, for he was being very sincere and doing the best he could. The party tanked because most were not listening to his advice, letting their ego’s run the quest, and doing whatever they wanted without teamwork or communication. However, the leader of my guild (my guild.....after that incidence that was really hard for me to say) flamed this guy so bad I was appalled. He began screaming at him and blaming him for the failure, and then booted him in mid-sentence as he was offering an explanation of the quest. Afterwards, he re-posted the LFM and ran the quest on CASUAL, all the while boasting about how much easier it was without the person he booted, never considering it was easier because he WAS ON CASUAL. It was all I could take.

I am posting this to an open forum because since this occurred, I have felt terrible about what was done. I should have spoke up as the flaming was occurring, and expressed how wrong it was to treat this person in that manner but I didn’t. Shame on me. I did not get your name, but if you are reading this, please accept my humble and sincere apology for the way my guild treated you. It was wrong on so many levels that I cannot even comprehend it. Just know that not everyone in the party agreed on your treatment, and as of today, I have left the guild. I will not associate or be associated with anyone or any group who thinks it’s OK to treat others in this manner.

We all play this game because we enjoy it, and for the most part we do enjoy it. However, there are those who are overly competitive, and have larger than life ego’s to overcome that can make it a nightmare at times. I am new to DDO, having joined in OCT. 2009, but was fortunate enough to pick up a mentor who is a top notch player to show me the ropes. Because of him, I know that for the most part, things will usually go Ok in a quest, but every once in a while, they go south and you tank. Do you blame someone else in the party for your failure? No, you pick up the pieces and move on, learn from the experience, and become a better player for it, hopefully paying forward the knowledge you acquired from the experience to others.

I still have a lot to learn from this game, and know that through trial and error and the gracious advice of those who have played much longer than me I will learn and become better, but I would never blame or flame another for my mistakes. So once again, if you are reading this, please accept my apology. It embarrasses me to no end to think that there was a guild name hanging over my head that you could associate with such rude treatment of others. Not everyone in this game is a jerk. Some of us actually play because we love it, and understand that when we fail, we only have ourselves to blame.

[Zenako]

Well I am guessing that unless there is an out of game relationship (friends or family) that the now 2 person guild might soon become even smaller, based on your telling of the tale.

The SOrjek quest is one of a handful in the game, where people have to work together and make things happen in a timely manner, since it is a TIMED quest. (Like Freshen the Air and Valak Mausoleum and even VON6, all timed quests put added pressure on players to get it done right.) Now with experienced veterans those timers are all but irrelevent, and serve more as a clock to see how much faster you can go, but to players just learning the quest, it adds stress and anxiety for sure.

I am not going to excuse your leader, but what were the other two (assuming you had a full 6) players doing (the Guide and your 3 member guild being the rest). Were they assets or liabilities in the quest. Sounds like the later. That is a quest where even the best of guides will fail if the other players goof off and mess things up. Were there recriminations going on before the blow up?

It sounds like you have severed yourself from someone who was acting rashly and that is probably a good thing. Anyone who is a Guild Leader or even an Officer should have a mature demeanor when interacting with others. They have to understand that they represent not only themselves in that manner, but others with the same guild flagging as well. You mess with all your reputations when acting like that.

Good luck and hope you can hook up with others more to your liking in the not distant future. There is much to like about the game, and amoung them is the generally mature and reasonable nature of most of the players. There are some bleeps, but mostly good folks.

[Kaervas]

I am not going to excuse your leader, but what were the other two (assuming you had a full 6) players doing (the Guide and your 3 member guild being the rest). Were they assets or liabilities in the quest. Sounds like the later. That is a quest where even the best of guides will fail if the other players goof off and mess things up. Were there recriminations going on before the blow up?

Thing is, the guy doing the guiding wasn't the one who freaked, it was someone else who freaked at the guide.

[insomnia2006]

Hi Peleodian, may i ask you a question? Could it be the one explaining was a WF named Saye?

[cardmj1]

+1 rep to you sir.

I also hope that the guide your apologizing to see this thread and accepts it. I am also pleased to hear that you left the guild. Reputation can make or break you in this game depending on your playstyle (bird's of a feather and all that). Since you are on Thelanis, I am sure that a respectful guild will snatch you up very soon and you will find people that you will enjoy to play this game with to no end. I wish you the best!

[DrunkenBuddha]

Kudos to you. You handled this in probably the best way you could. Sure you could have said something at the time, but it was probably shocking and hindsight being what it is and all, this is probably the best way to do it. We need more of you in MMOs in general.

[Captain_Wizbang]

.
There! now I can read your post!

As for your sig quote; WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!

It should read; "Never meddle in the affairs of dragons, as WE are crunchy, and taste good with KETCHUP"

I was there when the phrase was coined by the late E. G. Gygax

As for your post, You did the right thing by leaving said guild. How can ANY group unfamiliar with a quest, blame someone else for a failure?
"You mean, we cant defeat EVERY quest?"
Sounds like you have some gaming morals, send me a PM

[dopey69]

good on you op :) you did the right thing imo .

[MrWizard]

Sorry KK. I'm using a computer at work, and while there are 5 paragraphs in the post, and they display as such in the edit box, the post will not dispaly with paragraphs when posted. I will fix this when I get home and on my home comp.

probably have javascript off