Nadalis
11-16-2009, 02:44 PM
I am dreaming of the day when I can move out of the front yard and into the the game. Put me in coach I am ready to play. I feel many with agree with me when I say that the lack of me and my people is just FUBAGR, or Fouled Up Beyond All Gnown Recognition. We have sat by idly watching the other races tackle challenges placed before them, waiting for our opportunity, but no longer. I am standing up to be heard.
Honestly, I was shocked and amazed when I heard Guard Crichton at the harbor in Stormreach has sent group after countless group to defend Stormreach against kolbolds. My people are very adept at fighting them, as we have for countless generations. Call on us and we will show them gnomercy! We might even invent the Stormreach Kolbold Defense System, so that Guard Crichton will no longer have to send out countless groups.
And I keep hearing about these nasty elite traps. I heard of some poor sap who had his whole left side sliced off the other day, don't worry he's all right... You'll have to excuse the pun, but remember seven days without a pun, makes one weak... But really, what better way to detect some of these traps than some gnomish trap disabling equipment. I hear stories of adventurers tyeing maces to ropes and finding traps that way. Really?
And to top it off, we are not even allowed to sell our wares. I hear of adventurers buying elven spell components, dwarven armor, but we do not have the opportunity to sell you gnoman listening devices, or potion helmets, or gnomish heavy backpack assistance system. I can travel from house to house through your fancy teleporters, but I feel everyone might enjoy themselves on the automatic gnome flinging system to travel from house to house. We have a comittee working on a super long-range system right now to even get to Korthos, or out to the desert.
The Gnoman Empire spreads far and wide, well more wide than far. Although the sun never sets on the Gnoman Empire, we have yet to see highly skilled mercenaries come to our aid. It seems like the Elves, Humans, and Dwarves in Stormreach are always seeking assistance. I am not surprised about the dwarves. Which reminds me, why do dwarves have such fat nostrils? Look at their fingers.
The city of stormreach seems to be getting worse and not better. The problems are growing from bad to worse like a dwarf grows a beard. For, I can remember a time when Chamberlain Cyrese Embree was recruiting the best and the brightest, the toughest and the strongest that Stormreach has to offer, to help him out. The gnomes were not asked then, the problems grew worse. Now the best Stormreach has to offer, don't even think of that as a challenge, as Iosynne d’Phiarlan offers far more challenge. Yet my people still sit on the sidelines? How much worse will it get before you ask for our assistance? Let's face it the best and brightes are not always the most efficient. I have heard numerous stories of poeple going in and out, in and out, in and out, of the Twighlight Vale in order to get some thing to go somewhere. Ask us gnomes to do it and maybe we can get it right the first time and kill this Sally and Harry once and be done with them instead of over and over and over like a bad gnomish automatic picture player stuck on repeat. The gnomes with get rid of them for good, because we think outside the box, we get things right, when we have done the right research and thought and committee planning. What's the difference between a human being swallowed by a dragon, and a gnome being swallowed by a dragon?
Being swallowed was part of the gnome's plan.
Really, why are gnomes being excluded from saving Eberron? (Maybe this has been asked and answered before, but I couldn't find it. Is there a simple answer or are we waiting for the right moment to introduce the super cool super tough, inquisitive, talkative, creative, bardic, small race that brings a smile to everyone face, and decoration to everyones lawn?)
Signed: Dimble Stumbleduck Dontpuntme Nackle, lead burrower of the 27th tunnel, inventor of the six-finger mug, lead committee member creating the brass magnet, Second committee member looking into the negative resistor, creator of the illusion of peace with the drow and the elves, card carrying member of the Gnomish Liberation Army fighting the evil empress Zocara, conqueror of an ankeg at a drinking contest, reigning champion at the Basilisk starring contest, fourth member of the Committee investigating where shadows disappear to, and most importantly head committee member of the Ministry of Curiosity.
Honestly, I was shocked and amazed when I heard Guard Crichton at the harbor in Stormreach has sent group after countless group to defend Stormreach against kolbolds. My people are very adept at fighting them, as we have for countless generations. Call on us and we will show them gnomercy! We might even invent the Stormreach Kolbold Defense System, so that Guard Crichton will no longer have to send out countless groups.
And I keep hearing about these nasty elite traps. I heard of some poor sap who had his whole left side sliced off the other day, don't worry he's all right... You'll have to excuse the pun, but remember seven days without a pun, makes one weak... But really, what better way to detect some of these traps than some gnomish trap disabling equipment. I hear stories of adventurers tyeing maces to ropes and finding traps that way. Really?
And to top it off, we are not even allowed to sell our wares. I hear of adventurers buying elven spell components, dwarven armor, but we do not have the opportunity to sell you gnoman listening devices, or potion helmets, or gnomish heavy backpack assistance system. I can travel from house to house through your fancy teleporters, but I feel everyone might enjoy themselves on the automatic gnome flinging system to travel from house to house. We have a comittee working on a super long-range system right now to even get to Korthos, or out to the desert.
The Gnoman Empire spreads far and wide, well more wide than far. Although the sun never sets on the Gnoman Empire, we have yet to see highly skilled mercenaries come to our aid. It seems like the Elves, Humans, and Dwarves in Stormreach are always seeking assistance. I am not surprised about the dwarves. Which reminds me, why do dwarves have such fat nostrils? Look at their fingers.
The city of stormreach seems to be getting worse and not better. The problems are growing from bad to worse like a dwarf grows a beard. For, I can remember a time when Chamberlain Cyrese Embree was recruiting the best and the brightest, the toughest and the strongest that Stormreach has to offer, to help him out. The gnomes were not asked then, the problems grew worse. Now the best Stormreach has to offer, don't even think of that as a challenge, as Iosynne d’Phiarlan offers far more challenge. Yet my people still sit on the sidelines? How much worse will it get before you ask for our assistance? Let's face it the best and brightes are not always the most efficient. I have heard numerous stories of poeple going in and out, in and out, in and out, of the Twighlight Vale in order to get some thing to go somewhere. Ask us gnomes to do it and maybe we can get it right the first time and kill this Sally and Harry once and be done with them instead of over and over and over like a bad gnomish automatic picture player stuck on repeat. The gnomes with get rid of them for good, because we think outside the box, we get things right, when we have done the right research and thought and committee planning. What's the difference between a human being swallowed by a dragon, and a gnome being swallowed by a dragon?
Being swallowed was part of the gnome's plan.
Really, why are gnomes being excluded from saving Eberron? (Maybe this has been asked and answered before, but I couldn't find it. Is there a simple answer or are we waiting for the right moment to introduce the super cool super tough, inquisitive, talkative, creative, bardic, small race that brings a smile to everyone face, and decoration to everyones lawn?)
Signed: Dimble Stumbleduck Dontpuntme Nackle, lead burrower of the 27th tunnel, inventor of the six-finger mug, lead committee member creating the brass magnet, Second committee member looking into the negative resistor, creator of the illusion of peace with the drow and the elves, card carrying member of the Gnomish Liberation Army fighting the evil empress Zocara, conqueror of an ankeg at a drinking contest, reigning champion at the Basilisk starring contest, fourth member of the Committee investigating where shadows disappear to, and most importantly head committee member of the Ministry of Curiosity.