Favorite LFMs

[Draccus]

A few weeks ago, a friend pointed out an LFM that our entire guild has now picked up on and uses it as a running joke.

The LFM was for Bastion of Power and said: "Vorpal builds only!"

So what other LFM's have made you laugh. I'm not talking about the ones that are trying to be funny, I'm talking about ones trying to be serious but end up being funny.

Some of my other favorites are:

Coalescence Chamber: No zerging!

Shroud: Need DPS (Paladins only class not excluded)

And one recurring one on Ghallanda, that was posted almost nightly for different quests:

No kids, no idiots, and no one who talks too much

[Mical]

rofl

vorpal builds only...wow

[MDS_Geist]

My favorite was "Serious players only! If you're talking or making jokes you will be booted! No Exceptions!" So I joined, made a joke about it and the leader dropped group. :)

[Avonwey]

My personal favorite are the odd builds who sit there alone waiting for hours for people to join their group. This past week I saw a 4 Wiz/4 Sorc and a 4 Clr/2 Rog/2Rgr both looking for parties.

[GoldyGopher]

"Anonymous Only"

[Grosbeak07]

One I saw on Thelanis recently:

"I don't know the Quest, but I'm sure someone out there does"

[Thriand]

No kids, no idiots, and no one who talks too much

Whats wrong with that? Personally I don't like running with kids, idiots, and especially not with people who talk too much

[Junts]

Proof:

http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/8493/screenshot00269v.jpg (http://img11.imageshack.us/i/screenshot00269v.jpg/)

[Ulurjah]

One I saw on Thelanis recently:

"I don't know the Quest, but I'm sure someone out there does"

That one's probably serious. Stating that you need a guide in a humorous way might get someone to chuckle and click on the lfm to help you out.

[Junts]

Whats wrong with that? Personally I don't like running with kids, idiots, and especially not with people who talk too much


"Shroud, No Wobert"?

[bandyman1]

My personal favorite from last week;

Level 10 group, looking for a sorc/wizzy for Faithful Departed.

NEED FIREWALL.



:eek:

I **** near fell outta my chair. I'm wondering how many epic failures they had before giving up :D.

[rpasell]

The LFM was for Bastion of Power and said: "Vorpal builds only!"



I saw that LFM, and while I don't have anyone keyed, or even over level 17 (been away from game for a year), it did leave me scratching my head as to what a "Vorpal Build" is.

[JakLee7]

Shroud Speed run, no gimps - lvls 16 only (before mod 9)
put up by level 12
:)

[HeavenlyCloud]

A couple i love:

Experienced Only, Guide Wanted.

And a level 17 ranger/1monk1/rogue looking for a caster to kill 1 named on the orchard :D.

[Impaqt]

Thelanis Weapon Shipment LFM

"Dont join if you need the bauble"
:confused:

[Junts]

A couple i love:

Experienced Only, Guide Wanted.

And a level 17 ranger/1monk1/rogue looking for a caster to kill 1 named on the orchard :D.


It is admittedly almost impossible to solo the Rhadnik encounter on a melee, as the scaling makes his hp go down.

[Atenhotep]

Last night it was the LFM for New Invasion, levels 16 - 20 ... they were looking for a cleric for forever. I don't know if they ever found one (I doubt it by looking at the rest of the group) but even if they did I'm pretty sure they never completed. Thanks to Dumgeon Scaling I solo that on my cleric and no way am I gonna group with a bunch of dead men walking. Looking at the group composition with almost no DPS it had to be a bunch of clueless noobs. And that scares me to think the recent influx of noobs are high level and I may be forced to interact with them soon. :eek:

[HeavenlyCloud]

It is admittedly almost impossible to solo the Rhadnik encounter on a melee, as the scaling makes his hp go down.

At those levels everyone should be killing undeads in 1-2 hits except for the wraiths :O and if an npc like Rhadnik steals aggro from you...

[Junts]

At those levels everyone should be killing undeads in 1-2 hits except for the wraiths :O and if an npc like Rhadnik steals aggro from you...


Nah its that they spawn in packs of 8-10 and they can 3 hit him .. its pretty possible for them to kill him before you can hit them all once.

[Shamurai]

Last night it was the LFM for New Invasion, levels 16 - 20 ... they were looking for a cleric for forever. I don't know if they ever found one (I doubt it by looking at the rest of the group) but even if they did I'm pretty sure they never completed. Thanks to Dumgeon Scaling I solo that on my cleric and no way am I gonna group with a bunch of dead men walking. Looking at the group composition with almost no DPS it had to be a bunch of clueless noobs. And that scares me to think the recent influx of noobs are high level and I may be forced to interact with them soon. :eek:


Becoming a future noob avoidance question:
~ How could you tell by looking at the LFM that they were clueless noobs? I mean TBH wasn't everyone a farily Clueless noob the first time or two they ran some of those high end raids?

- I'm truly sorry that I didn't start 3 years ago so I could be as knowledgeable and less "noob" then the long timers, but rather then just facepalming and refusing to join the LFM how do you suggest us eager to learn how to them, learn how to do them properly? I'm all about letting a vet tell me what's best for me to do on the high end stuff, but if they won't even join because I've only been playing a month or two... I'll never learn. Please advise me how to become mentored? Honestly, I'm not being sarcastic with this thread I'm not raid ready at all yet, but I'd like to be better so when I am I can enjoy the Raids as much as you do?

[jmonty]

My favorite was "Serious players only! If you're talking or making jokes you will be booted! No Exceptions!" So I joined, made a joke about it and the leader dropped group. :)

haha

ddo: serious business

[Avonwey]

Please advise me how to become mentored? Honestly, I'm not being sarcastic with this thread I'm not raid ready at all yet, but I'd like to be better so when I am I can enjoy the Raids as much as you do?

Join a guild with a decent population of veterans. Guildies tend to have a much higher threshold for helping out a fellow guildie.

[Korvek]

At those levels everyone should be killing undeads in 1-2 hits except for the wraiths :O and if an npc like Rhadnik steals aggro from you...

There is some AoE damage in that fight I'm pretty sure.

Edit: Not to mention it's hard to grab everything's aggro before they hit him the one or two times it takes for him to go down.

[Fridas]

So I'm a little confused, I have been reading the forums a lot since I started playing, trying to find the best way to join a group and how to act in group so I don't embarrass myself. I have read threads where it explains how to go to grouping and set up a party or join a party, and I was assured that putting "no zerging" was acceptable, but I see you making fun of it, am I missing the point with this thread? is everyone just joking? Is there proper language or wording I should be using?

I really wanted to play last night and a friend of mine who I got to play so I would have someone to quest with couldn't play last night, I was a little desperate, its been a few days since I played so I went to the social panel and spent a long time trying to get the courage up to join a group or make one of my own, in the end I chickened out, and now I guess I'm a little glad I did, I could have logged on here and found you making fun of me.

But if I am way off in my interpretation of this thread just let me know

[sirdanile]

Thelanis Weapon Shipment LFM

"Dont join if you need the bauble"
:confused:

I SAW THAT UN! :D

I joined on my sorc anyway and "ninja looted it" on the fifth run...


So I'm a little confused, I have been reading the forums a lot since I started playing, trying to find the best way to join a group and how to act in group so I don't embarrass myself. I have read threads where it explains how to go to grouping and set up a party or join a party, and I was assured that putting "no zerging" was acceptable, but I see you making fun of it, am I missing the point with this thread? is everyone just joking? Is there proper language or wording I should be using?

I really wanted to play last night and a friend of mine who I got to play so I would have someone to quest with couldn't play last night, I was a little desperate, its been a few days since I played so I went to the social panel and spent a long time trying to get the courage up to join a group or make one of my own, in the end I chickened out, and now I guess I'm a little glad I did, I could have logged on here and found you making fun of me.

But if I am way off in my interpretation of this thread just let me know

The quest was coalescence chamber, if you've run that before you know that most of everything respawns and its a pain in the rear to kill every little thing on the way up, normally "no zerging" would be appropriate if you wish to take a new quest slow, but for coal chamber I do suggest hitching a ride for the first run so you dont get extremely irritated and then dead, ressurected then fallen off 4 times, climbed up 5 times and finally wiped at the end fight (or gelatinous cube...)

IF that block there seemed confusing it's because of what i'm describing is hard to put in words, long story short some (coal and prey on the hunter) require a certain level of speed otherwise you're just sitting ducks for hours on end.

[KKDragonLord]

So I'm a little confused, I have been reading the forums a lot since I started playing, trying to find the best way to join a group and how to act in group so I don't embarrass myself. I have read threads where it explains how to go to grouping and set up a party or join a party, and I was assured that putting "no zerging" was acceptable, but I see you making fun of it, am I missing the point with this thread? is everyone just joking? Is there proper language or wording I should be using?

I really wanted to play last night and a friend of mine who I got to play so I would have someone to quest with couldn't play last night, I was a little desperate, its been a few days since I played so I went to the social panel and spent a long time trying to get the courage up to join a group or make one of my own, in the end I chickened out, and now I guess I'm a little glad I did, I could have logged on here and found you making fun of me.

But if I am way off in my interpretation of this thread just let me know

Hey dont worry, you are alright, "No zerging" is indeed acceptable, except on quests that Zerging is an integral part of the quest or is required such as:
Offering of Blood, Coal Chamber, Prey on the Hunter.

The Key idea is that sometimes people add comments making unreasonable or just plain funny requests, you can avoid all that by running the quest at least once.

[Draccus]

So I'm a little confused, I have been reading the forums a lot since I started playing, trying to find the best way to join a group and how to act in group so I don't embarrass myself. I have read threads where it explains how to go to grouping and set up a party or join a party, and I was assured that putting "no zerging" was acceptable, but I see you making fun of it, am I missing the point with this thread? is everyone just joking? Is there proper language or wording I should be using?

Oops. I see how you can be a bit confused. The No Zerging bit is perfectly acceptible and encouraged for new players looking to enjoy their first few runs through a quest.

What you don't understand yet, and wouldn't understand unless you've been through the level 15ish content, is the quest that went with that No Zerging requirement.

The quest I saw that message for was Coalescence Chamber. That quest, a level 16 quest in the Vale of Twilight is pretty much designed to be zerged. It involves several VERY long climbs up spiral ramps that are filled with respawning monsters. Running the quest at anything other than zerg speed is FAR harder and less effective than zerging it.

In other words, that's a zerg quest and should be zerged.

[Thrudh]

Last night it was the LFM for New Invasion, levels 16 - 20 ... they were looking for a cleric for forever. I don't know if they ever found one (I doubt it by looking at the rest of the group) but even if they did I'm pretty sure they never completed. Thanks to Dumgeon Scaling I solo that on my cleric and no way am I gonna group with a bunch of dead men walking. Looking at the group composition with almost no DPS it had to be a bunch of clueless noobs. And that scares me to think the recent influx of noobs are high level and I may be forced to interact with them soon. :eek:


What was the group composition that made you think they were clueless noobs?

[Thrudh]

Thelanis Weapon Shipment LFM

"Dont join if you need the bauble"
:confused:

I saw that one too... :eek:

[Mhykke]

I'm partial to this one:

http://i263.photobucket.com/albums/ii143/mykeuva/ScreenShot00005.jpg

[Fridas]

Ah, I get it now, thanks for clearing it up.

[Delt]

The quest I saw that message for was Coalescence Chamber. That quest, a level 16 quest in the Vale of Twilight is pretty much designed to be zerged. It involves several VERY long climbs up spiral ramps that are filled with respawning monsters. Running the quest at anything other than zerg speed is FAR harder and less effective than zerging it.

In other words, that's a zerg quest and should be zerged.

They don't respawn - there is just a certain point where a 2nd group spawns in previously passed areas. You can clear the quest. I wouldn't want to...but you can.


Hey dont worry, you are alright, "No zerging" is indeed acceptable, except on quests that Zerging is an integral part of the quest or is required such as:
Offering of Blood, Coal Chamber, Prey on the Hunter.

In none of those quests is zerging required or integral. It's simply often more convienent and quicker...which is the point behind all zerging.

[ahpook]

The quest I saw that message for was Coalescence Chamber. That quest, a level 16 quest in the Vale of Twilight is pretty much designed to be zerged. It involves several VERY long climbs up spiral ramps that are filled with respawning monsters. Running the quest at anything other than zerg speed is FAR harder and less effective than zerging it.

In other words, that's a zerg quest and should be zerged.

Actually that is not true for Coalescence Chamber. The mobs only respawn based on progress (with the possible exception of some bats). If you kill everything, there will not be respawns until you accomplish certain tasks. Generally there is only one respawn and only in some of the areas. I have non-zerged the quest for conquest bonus a couple of times.

It is not like PoH or OOB where the respawns are continuous and the quest must be zerged. Non-zerg should be perfectly acceptable on CC even if most people don't like to run it that way.

[Delt]

I SAW THAT UN! :D

I joined on my sorc anyway and "ninja looted it" on the fifth run...

I suspect you are lying through your teeth...but if you did that, it's pretty lame (don't agree with the LFM, don't join). And if you are lying, that's pretty sad.

Either way, pathetic. And not something I'd be bragging about.

[deadmanet]

Seen one like this today:rolleyes:

Leader is level 7
Quest listed is level 8
Level Range is 8-11
Notes in lfm:Elite-Need opener, healer, caster

[mediocresurgeon]

I suspect you are nothing more than a forum warrior and lying through your teeth...but if you did that, it's pretty lame (don't agree with the LFM, don't join). And if you are lying, that's pretty sad.

Either way, pathetic.

Hurray for off-topic personal attacks!

[wamjratl1]

One I saw on Thelanis recently:

"I don't know the Quest, but I'm sure someone out there does"


That's funny. I have put "I don't know quest" in my LFM before just because I don't want people to join thinking I'm gonna know the quest. I'm happy to lead a quest where we're all all first-timers but want folks to know that going in.

[Delt]

Hurray for off-topic personal attacks!

Nothing "personal" about calling someone's actions lame when they join an LFM with the deliberate intention of not complying with the Leader's request. You'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who disagrees with me.

Nothing "off-topic" about it either, considering the poster brought it up.

Maybe you should take a few minutes to use a dictionary before you post next? Just an idea. :rolleyes:

[rpasell]

I SAW THAT UN! :D

I joined on my sorc anyway and "ninja looted it" on the fifth run...



The quest was coalescence chamber, if you've run that before you know that most of everything respawns and its a pain in the rear to kill every little thing on the way up, normally "no zerging" would be appropriate if you wish to take a new quest slow, but for coal chamber I do suggest hitching a ride for the first run so you dont get extremely irritated and then dead, ressurected then fallen off 4 times, climbed up 5 times and finally wiped at the end fight (or gelatinous cube...)

IF that block there seemed confusing it's because of what i'm describing is hard to put in words, long story short some (coal and prey on the hunter) require a certain level of speed otherwise you're just sitting ducks for hours on end.

Offering of Blood falls into this category as well.

[Pwesiela]

Thelanis Weapon Shipment LFM

"Dont join if you need the bauble"
:confused:

Was wondering about that one myself.

As a side not, the only "vorpal build" I can think of are Assassin III's. After all, everything in their hands is a vorpal. Right?

[JakLee7]

Seen one like this today:rolleyes:

Leader is level 7
Quest listed is level 8
Level Range is 8-11
Notes in lfm:Elite-Need opener, healer, caster

I see these types (and the one I mentioned earlier) quite regularly. I just don't understand it... If you want to power run quests, isn't that what your guildmates are for - make them open it for you & run their lowbies to get you XP or their capped characters to get favor.... at least that is how we roll in Founders.....

[transtemporal]

"We know nothing" - I actually really like that one, as opposed to "guide wanted"
"Blind, please help" - For STK, just the right amount of tragic patheticness to appeal to me
"Crazy zerg fest 2 finish, last 1 2 boss is a rotten egg" - For monastary, ok - so it was my LFM, had to give myself props :)

[Junts]

Was wondering about that one myself.

As a side not, the only "vorpal build" I can think of are Assassin III's. After all, everything in their hands is a vorpal. Right?

That's right; what started this thread in fact was the 5 minutes we spent after making fun of Dresek about it:

Dres, you better join that, you're a vorpal build!

hey dresek, when you roll a 20, do two mobs die at once?

Dresek, if you roll a 20 and there's only one mob, do you cut off your own head by mistake?

[rest]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v162/rest_rsx/DDO/ranger_lol.jpg

The VoN was the actual group looking for a very specific ranger.

The rest for just for the lulz. Apparently I caught this early, because after I logged off there were dozens of LFMs looking for ranged rangers.

[Atenhotep]

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y49/Terrattu/funnylfms.jpg

[Atenhotep]

Becoming a future noob avoidance question:
~ How could you tell by looking at the LFM that they were clueless noobs? I mean TBH wasn't everyone a farily Clueless noob the first time or two they ran some of those high end raids?

- I'm truly sorry that I didn't start 3 years ago so I could be as knowledgeable and less "noob" then the long timers, but rather then just facepalming and refusing to join the LFM how do you suggest us eager to learn how to them, learn how to do them properly? I'm all about letting a vet tell me what's best for me to do on the high end stuff, but if they won't even join because I've only been playing a month or two... I'll never learn. Please advise me how to become mentored? Honestly, I'm not being sarcastic with this thread I'm not raid ready at all yet, but I'd like to be better so when I am I can enjoy the Raids as much as you do?

To answer the first part of your post:

All of us Vets were uber from day one .. obviously (http://forums.ddo.com/showthread.php?t=209040)

To answer the second part:

Really, just player experience, experience with the quest and knowing what seems to work and what doesn't. Some 16th lvl soft targets in New Invasion may be possible but it's one headache I certainly wouldnt want any part of on my clerics.

[Aranticus]

Shroud Speed run, no gimps - lvls 16 only (before mod 9)
put up by level 12
:)

was it started by a batman build who needed a +3 int tome to max out his skills before he levels?

[Ranmaru2]

Actually, if that was on Ghallanda it was probably Sothary, he's quite the character :D

[Draccus]

That's right; what started this thread in fact was the 5 minutes we spent after making fun of Dresek about it:

Dres, you better join that, you're a vorpal build!

hey dresek, when you roll a 20, do two mobs die at once?

Dresek, if you roll a 20 and there's only one mob, do you cut off your own head by mistake?

I think if I equip my two vorpal sickles and roll a 20 I can vorpal 4 mobs, trim my own sideburns, and perform a circumcision on anyone with 5 feet.

[Elsbet]

Someone posted one of my faves already. "Need guide. Experienced players only."

Another one of my faves involved knowing the player's guild. I'm not calling them out to be negative. They are a great group, but this was too funny.

Group leader's Guild: We Do Not Run Through Dungeons
LFM: Speed runs. Know quest.


Others include:
"Join our group. We have a real girl."
"We're drunk. We might not complete, but we will have fun."
"Do not join if sober."

[Shamurai]

Others include:
"Join our group. We have a real girl."



OMG that's too funny! Sometimes I wish I was a real girl, would help with my attention mongering ways (at least online, cuz I think I'd be an ugly girl).

Okay the advice is for me to join a reputable guild of vets that might guide me. That will be a goal of mine, but first I want to be a little better at this game. I like being an asset and not just someone to lug around. I'll push a few toons into the teen levels and then perhaps canvas for a good Thelanis Guild Mentor/ Trainer. I had intents of making a guild for my growing following um .. er.. circle of family and friends that I'm converting from other games into DDO, but am avidly seeking to learn from those that have gone before me.

I shall seek not to walk in the footsteps of the Great Ones, but rather to seek what they sought.