View Full Version : Top 10 Warforged pickup lines.
Thanimal
10-15-2009, 02:50 PM
10. Pardon me -- are you male or female?
9. What would it take to get you out of that docent?
8. Wanna see my ... Repair Kit?
7. [loud voice] Wow, this potion is gonna take my DEX to FORTY!
6. What's a nice construct like you doing in a place like this?
5. Hi, I'm a Warchanter, and I was, um, wondering if you might wanna -- like -- run a quest or something with me sometime? I mean, if you're not doing anything else?
4. You had me at "Warchanter."
3. Ya know, Lay on Hands is fully effective on Warforged.
2. Excuse me -- I'm going to go snap in a docent that's a little more comfortable.
And the #1 Warforged pickup line...
1. So ... you're immune to disease, right?
(Feel free to add your own! They'll probably be better than mine!)
Adamidozz
10-15-2009, 02:53 PM
Very nice!
+rep.
Kaldaka
10-15-2009, 03:02 PM
Is that a gear in your docent? ... Or are you just happy to see me? :D
Lewcipher
10-15-2009, 03:04 PM
You sure you're immune to hold spells?
Galtron
10-15-2009, 03:04 PM
Has anyone ever told you how smooth my composite plating is? ;)
Shamurai
10-15-2009, 03:04 PM
+1 Rep ~~ Hilarioius. okay.. let's see if I can add one..
" I hear Mod 10 is coming out with some AMAZING new WF attachments" ~wink wink~
Turial
10-15-2009, 03:08 PM
"Hey baby, Wanna kill all fleshies?"
Thanimal
10-15-2009, 03:09 PM
" I hear Mod 10 is coming out with some AMAZING new WF attachments" ~wink wink~
Since I nearly lost my drink all over my monitor, I gotta give you rep here.
Btw, I like ALL of them so far. But for some reason this one dealt me about 200 points of laugh damage.
Hellllboy
10-15-2009, 03:40 PM
Is your creator a mechanic? Because you've got a finely tuned body! ;)
Myriam
10-15-2009, 08:07 PM
"want to see my Bladesworn Transformation in action?"
captain1z
10-15-2009, 08:15 PM
"oh Im sorry, it seems Ive spilled oil all over myself"
PSU93
10-15-2009, 08:16 PM
Oooh, nice Rack, Construct.
Inspire
10-15-2009, 08:27 PM
I didnt take Greater Weapon Aptitude for my Falchion baby.
Mistinarperadnacles
10-15-2009, 11:59 PM
Socket to me.
Lets get Lubricated.
You give me Livewood.
You smell like a female deer. What is that Docent?
Be my Adamantine Queen, I'll be your Mithral Pal.
Don't worry, I'm fully specced in Force and Repair.
So... you don't need to breathe ;) are immune to noxious gasses ;) disease free ;) and don't want to be held afterwards? ;) How you doin?
I gots me a Warforged Hardiness and I'm Construct Thinking you're the Adamantine Companion for me, so lemme show you my Great "Weapon" Aptitude.
Did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven? No, that's right you just made that huge crater over there with the destroyed orphanage and maimed peasants...
What do you mean I got the wrong perfume? Eau De Rustie Pheremone was all they had.
Shamurai
10-16-2009, 07:55 AM
So... you don't need to breathe ;) are immune to noxious gasses ;) disease free ;) and don't want to be held afterwards? ;) How you doin?
LOVED IT! +1 Rep
"ooooooh DOCENT... I thought you gave me your CONSENT... my bad, Don't move I'll run to the Apotehcary for some moderate repair potions..."
Talon_Moonshadow
10-16-2009, 08:56 AM
For those who are really serious.
Personals: Hard-bodied female seeks well built males for raging good times. Livewood preferred. Inquire: Maidtofight Brb7 Ghallandra. (Gifts of Pink Docents appreciated.)
Madwad
10-16-2009, 09:00 AM
OMG my boss just asked my why i am LOL so much !!!!!
dragnmoon
10-17-2009, 11:20 AM
My Ability to hold my breath forever is not just for swimming ;)
Rust Monsters love me, and so should you :D
Memnir
10-17-2009, 11:20 AM
I'll show you why I'm mostly made of wood, baby.
-deep voice-
I served... in the Last War...
(this one never seems to work - but he keeps trying it)
With equipment like this, I had to go THF!
Wow, you hit me like a Rust Monster! You've got me helpless...
Graypaws
10-17-2009, 11:22 AM
Trust me, Im Peterbilt!
I hope you are a convertible cause that top has to come down!
Which gender do you prefer?
Your garage or mine?
MDS_Geist
10-17-2009, 06:45 PM
Body by Cannith baby.
That's right, they're real and they're fantastic.
Unlike a fleshie, I never get tired.
Come and see why metal is so much better than meat.
Myriam
10-18-2009, 07:07 AM
I'm so sorry for this one...
"Baby you give me Heartwood!"
Mistinarperadnacles
10-18-2009, 11:38 AM
I'm so sorry for this one...
"Baby you give me Heartwood!"
But will you still respec me in the morning?
poonce
10-18-2009, 11:47 AM
" I would take off My Docent, But then my Nuts would be showing . ." :)
Asketes
10-18-2009, 11:47 AM
10. Pardon me -- are you male or female?
................
1. So ... you're immune to disease, right?
wow that's awesome.
+1 rep to that
Gleipner
10-18-2009, 11:52 AM
Want to come over to me for a real oilchange?
NinetyNineTails
10-18-2009, 11:53 AM
Once you go 'forged, fleshies leave you bored.
Doomcrew
10-18-2009, 12:02 PM
Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your vin number.....
Cheers
Anarkius
10-18-2009, 12:12 PM
Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your vin number.....
Cheers
Thats great!!! :D
My favorite is ... warforged are immune to all forms of fatigue or exhaustion. :D
Thanimal
10-18-2009, 02:01 PM
But will you still respec me in the morning?
AWESOME! This may be my favorite joke so far, even though it's not technically a pickup line.
Myriam
10-18-2009, 04:36 PM
But will you still respec me in the morning?
:D
"You better get some sandpaper, because I'm going to be rubbing against your grain tonight."
Shamurai
10-19-2009, 11:39 AM
:D
"You better get some sandpaper, because I'm going to be rubbing against your grain tonight."
OMG this one is just nasty!! Funy as bleep but nasty!! +1 REP!
Thanimal
10-19-2009, 02:25 PM
Of the ones that got cut from my original longer list to get down to 10, (only) one is sorta funny so here it is:
Is that Adamantine or are you just happy to see me?
Btw, this top 10 was featured on DDOCast on the weekend. 2 minutes of fame for the win!!
geoffhanna
10-19-2009, 03:03 PM
I am fully functional in every way, of course. I am programmed in . . . multiple techniques; a wide variety of pleasuring.
Myriam
10-20-2009, 03:37 AM
"Oh dear, I seemed to have spilled this Oil of Serious Repair all over myself."
Thanimal
10-20-2009, 09:40 AM
"Oh dear, I seemed to have spilled this Oil of Serious Repair all over myself."
THERE we go! I knew there was a really elegant Oil joke somewhere, but never managed to come up with one. Well done.
Arlith
10-20-2009, 09:54 AM
I love a girl with nuts.
A bit of a crossover, but...
"Horny! Horny, Will Robinson!!"
Yajerman01
10-20-2009, 10:13 AM
You the WF go back to your buddy after trying to pickup a female WF.
Well......?
1. No deal bro, shes weaing the Docent of Defiance and is all shielded up.
2. I tried, but she isn't into multiclassed WF
3. hmmph, she said shes only interested in adamantine greatswords!
4. Shes way too binary for me.
5. Uh uhhhh, shes leaking all over the places and sounds very loose
6. I offered her a repair serious pot but she wasnt having it, she rather have a silver flame pot
7. Nah, every since she got a lay on hands from another WF, shes been a pally fanboy
8. I told her I was the Monster and she laughed and said, Barbarians do it better!
baylensman
10-20-2009, 11:54 AM
I've your engine of creation right here!
i've got a docent built for two
oh so that's not a halfling in your pocket....
Warforged are just nuts over dwarfs
No it not a repair wand..
Myriam
10-20-2009, 07:35 PM
THERE we go! I knew there was a really elegant Oil joke somewhere, but never managed to come up with one. Well done.
Thank you ~bows~
Mistinarperadnacles
10-20-2009, 08:58 PM
"Thank you for travelling to The Mournlands and submitting your application to 'get some.' Our committee will review it." - The Board of Laids.
(apologies to Peter Sarstedt - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRpw4tYMM-c )
You talk like that guy from the intro
And you dance like you're having a fit
Your clothes are all made by blacksmiths
And there's diamonds and pearls on your bits, yes there are
You live in a eight foot square dungeon
Of the Boulevard in Marketplace-2
Where you keep your singing potatos
And a flaggon of Haywire's brew, yes you do
But what are you made of my lovely
Why have you broken my bed
Tell me the thoughts that surround you
I want to look inside your head, yes I do
I've seen all your quality upgrades
From Forgemaster Ten-Lom
And the Halfling you squashed in Jorasco
Your loveliness goes on and on, yes it does
When you go on your summer vacation
You go to the Haven Resort
With your carefully designed topless docent
You still have your heavy fort, on your back and on your legs
When the snow falls you're found in some Peak
Completing your Anger's Gift set
And you sip your warforged oil shandy
But you don't have lips to get wet, no you don't
But what are you made of my lovely
Why have you broken my bed
This pile of spare parts that surround you
I want to look inside your head, with my saw, and my drill
Your name is heard in high places
You know that guy from the Sharn
He sent you a racehorse for chistmas
And you ate it just for fun, for a laugh ahahaha
They say that when you get married
It'll be to a rogue with repair
But they don't realize where you came from
And I wonder if they really care, or give a ****
What are you made of my lovely
Your tonnage has broken my bed
Open your flip and slide sunroof
I want to look inside your head, yes I do
I remember the back streets of Stormreach
Two newbies begging in rags
Both touched with a burning ambition
To shake off their lowly guild tags, yes they try
So look into my face construct fair
And remember just who you are
Then go and forget me forever
'Cause I know I'll still bear the scar
Deep inside, from your axe
I know what you're made of my lovely
I know why I need a new bed
I know that its Mithral surrounds you
'Cause I can look inside your head
Yshkabibble
10-20-2009, 09:06 PM
I am sure you heard the nickname the ladies gave me, "Warforged Titan".
Vanda
10-20-2009, 09:31 PM
You must be part rustie, cause you just stunned me!
I'd try a self effacing pickup line, but you're immune to critical hits.
Myriam
10-21-2009, 12:05 AM
This will probably be hit by the censor, but...
"You don't date Warforged? My friends said you were *****forged."
Think of a word that starts with W, women hate, and rhymes with War.
If that makes no sense, I'm on my 4th Long Island! :D
mediocresurgeon
10-21-2009, 12:09 AM
"Pull my lever."
"You know, I'm immune to Exhaustion."
"I'm as hard as Adamantine right now."
"You're out of SP? Let's go to the tavern and get you Lubricated."
adamr09
10-21-2009, 12:12 AM
"uh oh......there is oil leaking out of my wood" ;)
Thanimal
10-21-2009, 11:04 AM
As expected, you guys are much funnier than I am. But I'm gonna keep trying anyhow:
When I think about you, I Master's Touch myself.
MDS_Geist
10-21-2009, 11:06 AM
Want to see my bladesworn transformation?
I am the Lord of Blades.
baylensman
10-21-2009, 11:11 AM
No i don't have a problem with premature lubrication
I may be immune to hold person but i'm not immune to you
Do you wanna see my etchings
I do have big fingers and toes..its true with all my parts.
Phidius
10-21-2009, 11:17 AM
Wanna get lathed?
Sir_Chonas
10-21-2009, 11:21 AM
You sure you're immune to hold spells?
QFA (awesomeness) +1 rep
dormetheus
10-21-2009, 11:27 AM
"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd <a href="greaseurdocentsocket.com">INSERT UI</a> (http://www.dynamicmailcom.com/knowledgebase/images/dmc/insert_html2.gif)
Myriam
10-21-2009, 12:54 PM
Wanna get lathed?
Awesome!
MDS_Geist
10-21-2009, 03:04 PM
Just like a Timex, I'll take a licking and keep in ticking!
I'm built to last!
Myriam
10-21-2009, 08:06 PM
I'm not bad, I'm just carved that way.
Wyrmnax
10-30-2009, 10:34 AM
Oh.... i seem to have spilled repair oil all over myself...
Turgar
12-10-2009, 09:15 AM
**** girl, you got some nice junk in your trunk!
It's a good thing I'm immune to exhaustion, cause I know I've been running through your mind ever since you put eyes on me!
*spills repair potion on her* Aww ****, Im sorry, Did I get you lubricated? I have an attatchment to take care of that!
Baby your lookin so good I cant think about anything but knockin bolts, how about we find a public place to bump n grind?
My constitution needs no enhancements, wanna dip out of this joint and I can show you my fortitude?
Gunga
12-10-2009, 09:43 AM
Is that ice cream on your docent or did you just blow a seal (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OpuuAa7gdE)?
Junts
12-10-2009, 09:44 AM
My Docent of Blood is pounding!
Yajerman01
12-10-2009, 09:47 AM
Let me lube you up!
I left my packet of docents at home :(
I love your female grunts, there so manly!
Domo Arrigato Mr. Roboto!
wolftrest
05-25-2010, 04:53 AM
Hey, has your oil pan been popped?
Kiss me! I'm Mithril!
Someone get that Worg...He just made my leg rust!!!!
(melody) She's a brick...hoooouuuuse....
Hey baby, how YOU doi....is that ooze? RUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNN
You got me so stiff I need lubrication...
(female) No, my nipples are always that hard.
(talking to friend after a one-night stand) She couldn't hold me, but I stayed still enough when she pulled out the screwdriver....
You know, some guys have a splinter, some have a branch...care to see my tree?
Hey baby, I got my hardwood varnished yesterday...care to look?
Watch out, I got a +5 hardwood greatclub of maiming....
I make an oak tree look thin....
Daaaaaaaaaang baby, you got a really leafy patch down there....I LIKE it!
[if you like these jokes, gimme da rep XD ]
Xanatos777
06-06-2010, 05:06 PM
I have a contract with "Snap-On Tools."
I bought you dinner, so you at least owe me a lube job.
Oh, your a fighter? I always wanted to cross-class into a fighter.
I love dating warforged, high constitution, low wisdom.
I found this "+5 Oil of Healing Roofies", and you look damaged.
RequiemVampie
06-06-2010, 05:58 PM
"I don't have to worry about shrinkage."
"The cold weather around Risia doesn't affect me like meat-sicles."
"I just need a hug. Oops, s***! I should have take off my fire guard docent first."
"Got Lube?"
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