What's your favorite DM text?

[Slink]

After thoughtlessly stumbling upon this topic, I am looking to hear from all
of my fellow DDO subscribers about your favorite! :D

My personal favorite is from "Prey on the Hunter" if you choose to fight the dragons.

I seriously almost fell out of my chair laughing when I heard this upon defeating them:

"It might be best if the agents of argonnesson didn't hear of this"

So, let's hear your's!

BTW, sorry for the previous post that was improperly placed :D

[Vorn]

"It doesn't take a Kalashtar...."

Oldie but goodie.
:)

[Frodo_Lives]

"maybe it wasn't the spiders that killed these people after all, maybe it was something else........"

It just sounds so stupid it makes me laugh. :)

[Indrn_Fretgoop]

"That does it! The door to the library is now open!"

[Kraldor]

"Coyle Lovell shouts, 'By the Sovereign Host, there's a Fire Reaver in the library! Get ready to fight!'"

^ Delivered with such stunning conviction in-game too.

[Mr_Ed7]

THE TAINT OF THE DROW IS NOW CLEANESED

Got to have a clean taint.

[WeaselKing]

You must not leave until you free Arlos and gather your party safely at the exit.

[unionyes]

the Taint Of The Drow Is Now Cleanesed

Got To Have A Clean Taint.

Ftw.

[Summerisle]

"you wonder if washed kobolds would smell any better"

[Slink]

"you wonder if washed kobolds would smell any better"

Seriously, soda was almost ejected nasaly. :p

[EKKM]

Anything in "A Cry for Help" where he does the girl's voice.

[Juni]

From Coal Chamber

A Gelatinous Cube! Quick kill it before it engulfs you!

[Draccus]

"maybe it wasn't the spiders that killed these people after all, maybe it was something else........"

It just sounds so stupid it makes me laugh. :)

One of my favorites as well. I love the intentionally over-dramatic way he says it. maybe...they were...killed...BY SOMETHING ELSE!!!

One of my other favorites:

Tangleroot: The Patrol Leader checks his roster. You're not on it.

Also, anything in Necropolis. As much as I hate that area, the DM's voice is dead sexy.

[MDS_Geist]

The Coalescence Chamber where the DM's voice changes when you encounter the two guys with the keys. Talk to an NPC? Yeah, like that happens. :)

[Thrudh]

The Coalescence Chamber where the DM's voice changes when you encounter the two guys with the keys. Talk to an NPC? Yeah, like that happens. :)

My first time in there, I was desperately trying to stop everyone from attacking the troll... "Guys, he said we need to talk to it!! Try talking to it!!"

[Cedrica-the-Bard]

"It's no good!"

- Threnals

[Tolero]

"A trap has been sprung!!"
- Gary in Dead Girl

[Isys]

.......Dinner and Entertainment!

[branmakmuffin]

"You wish these bones were a little cleaner."

[MrWizard]

/signed cry for help...guy using his feminine voice...

"somebody, please help me"

first time I thought someone in the group was kidding around....


and...



"a fall from this height could be devastating if not deadly.."

orly?

[negative]

Coal chamber and cry for help, hands down. Absolute favorites.

[toughguyjoe]

personal favorite comes from Von 5.

The opposite of the Cry For Help voice, the most toughguy voice the Dm could come up with.

Mallchai The Breaker: We've got Kundarak fighters incoming! Stand fast!

[William_the_Bat]

You must not leave until you free Arlos and gather your party safely at the exit.

That!

[MrCow]

"Yaryarr shouts 'I will kill you, kill you all!' as he falls, effectively calling his own bluff."

[Belwaar]

Crucible: I don't remember the exact quote, but it's something like this:

"<name of the gnoll> seems to be fighting naked...what courage!" :D:D:D

[MissAshley]

Keep smashing his crates!

[Arnya]

'The treasure bag gives you an Planar Shard'

I am a grammar nazi, sad I know.

[Dirac]

How about NPC text?

you: "Are we likely to be attacked?"
NPC: "Is the sea likely to be wet?"

[Fenrisulven6]

CO6: "A foul miasma...."

[Nonan]

I am for
"Foul Miasma"

and of course ..
"You must free Arlos....!!"

[Newtons_Apple]

Typed text in part IV of the shroud if you're dead with the lion:


"If you don't step away from me I'm going to rip off your head. Somehow I'll find a way to do it!"

[Jesen]

Memory is a bit fuzzy on this one, but after countless loot runs in Chamber of Rayum hearing the Lich King say something along the lines of "Welcome Adventurers, you will learn to call this place home as I have"

Seeing as we were ransacking chests in there we practically did call the Chamber our home. ;)

[Gelandor]

Von 1 has my favorite DM narration, during the arena fight when the Mephits and Minotaurs enter, he says:

"But their luck has run out, the horns of fury and the maelstrom princes have slain may of their kind" (or something like that)

[Shahadi]

Someone already said it, but in Threnals when he said awkwardly, "door's open!" cracks me up every time.

[Doomcrew]

"It's an AMBUSH!!"

Butchers' Path

[Lorien_the_First_One]

Typed text in part IV of the shroud if you're dead with the lion:


"If you don't step away from me I'm going to rip off your head. Somehow I'll find a way to do it!"

for real? I so have to die next time I'm in there with the lion lol

[Slink]

for real? I so have to die next time I'm in there with the lion lol

Easier than dyin is just run up to them at start of part 5 and click on them.

Kasquik is a silly one also.

[esoitl]

Anything in "A Cry for Help" where he does the girl's voice.

Brilliance indeed....

Delera's: "You see a note by a mangled body over there"
Probably not the exact quote but it's something like that.... the only thing I laugh at more than the Cry for Help.

[Minor_Threat]

(DMText): Submerged beneath the lake surrounding Meridia, this hidden entrance is a convenient, if wet, backdoor into the Crimson Foot Hive.

This entertains me but I think i'm the only one.

[Inkblack]

See if Behadil knows anything... <HACK> <HACK> <SLASH> ... or kill him. He certainly won't answer any questions now!

...

All right, I have a feeling you won't interrogate Frokke anyway...

[Kerrn_Siff]

(DMText): Submerged beneath the lake surrounding Meridia, this hidden entrance is a convenient, if wet, backdoor into the Crimson Foot Hive.

This entertains me but I think i'm the only one.

you're not the only one lol. This is a guild favorite :)

[gizmos199]

See if Behadil knows anything... <HACK> <HACK> <SLASH> ... or kill him. He certainly won't answer any questions now!

...

All right, I have a feeling you won't interrogate Frokke anyway...

a jelatonus cube?!! i asure you theres no point in asking it anything ! quick kill it before it engolefs you

[Newtons_Apple]

The drow in either Xorian Cipher or Gwylans Stand (can't remember which one):


"I'm dying?!?! AH HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

[Missing_Minds]

The kobold out in Atraxiea's Heaven. He's just precious. :)

[~hatepig]

Yeah it has to be " a foul miasma". I thought all miasmas were foul.
I've yet heard anyone say "She has such a nice miasma about her. I could smell her all day."

[Borror0]

Robotic female voice in PotP FTW!:rolleyes:

[Ghirmeshk]

I used to love the whole "tanglefoot" botch in tangleroot. That was awesome.

[Ghirmeshk]

I also love the "stench of walking corpses" bit in the catacombs . . . after all walking corpses smell totally different than the garden variety not walking ones:).

[jmonty]

THE TAINT OF THE DROW IS NOW CLEANESED

Got to have a clean taint.

this

[jmonty]

also i like the line about the 'fecundity' in stormcleave. :)

[Jesen]

Few people mentioned things that NPC's were saying while fighting them, one of my favourites is the Warforged in Von5.

"Hail, Attack!"

[Fargen]

The knolls out in the desert "Kill the strong take the weak as slaves"

[Arkat]

"Puddings, the color of Midnight..."

[valorik]

"Yaryarr shouts 'I will kill you, kill you all!' as he falls, effectively calling his own bluff."

/agreed
another favorite of mine is in 3bc
"(DMText): The Rotten Shark beached herself on this shoal one night after the captain was seen purchasing four cases of an unknown beverage."

[Ikuryo]

Overhead from a kobold in a place with water:

"Baweep" "Granu" "Weepni" "Nibau"

I'll have to go check his exact quotes later.

[Mazeratti]

Robotic female voice in PotP FTW!:rolleyes:

I was going to say that, although the one I am thinking of is not a robot, its a guy doing a chicks voice I think, thats the funny thing, its not what he/she says but how LOL I crack up everytime I hear it :D

BTW 5 Kudos for this Happy THread!!!

:D:D:D:D:D

[Ragemage]

"Yaryarr shouts 'I will kill you, kill you all!' as he falls, effectively calling his own bluff."

Yep maybe one of the best.

I like the whole Endfight at Crucible.


Crucible: I don't remember the exact quote, but it's something like this:

"<name of the gnoll> seems to be fighting naked...what courage!" :D:D:D

Its: He seems to fight naked today, what confidence! lol

And ofc:

DIZZZAFRRABADO!!! (or something similar) = Kobold Attack in Stormcleave. :D

[Gathor_Stormforge]

(DMText): Submerged beneath the lake surrounding Meridia, this hidden entrance is a convenient, if wet, backdoor into the Crimson Foot Hive.

This entertains me but I think i'm the only one.

The "wet backdoor" cracks me up. The text at the door to OoB is also a bit dirty. Can't remember what it is.

[Comfortably]

"...and now finally after years of waiting, ladies and gents....(pause) MOD9!!!!!!!" -Turbine :D

[Bekki]

I think I have to add this one in Water Works...

Guard Tembor:
"I wouldn't trust Echick as far as I could toss a Kobold... then again, they are pretty small."

[Kalanth]

It's really a three way tie between anything said in A Cry For Help, "Welcome Traveler, soon you will come to know this place as I have," and anything with Yar Yar in it.

Mostly because of a long gone friend that used to do a spot on impersonation of the DM voice at random and he loved these lines.

[Grimgore]

May Dave rest in peace but his dead fish delivery in Threnal as Coyle is pathetic. I'm gonna go with "By the Host, theres a fire reaver in the library" Whats worse about it is that this is the second time he sees the fire reaver in the library, so whats the new surprise about? **** he even knows the creatures name!

[Tendare]

.......Dinner and Entertainment!

Yep got to be this one. Just the way he says it. I almost fell out of my chair the first time I heard it.

And I want a Tshirt that says "You no gnashtooth, You DIE Now"

[Dellamorte]

The kobold out in Atraxiea's Heaven. He's just precious. :)

Do you mean, the dragon? ;)

[Fluffy_the_Goth]

I have two..

This one just reminds me of something I'd say to my friends

(DMText): This particularly surly orc is quite eager to greet you... with his blade!

And this one... Is just awesome because I refuse to turn in my seal for doing Bonebite hideout or WW

(DMText): You can't enter the market without obtaining a seal from the Harbormaster.

[Bekki]

Yep got to be this one. Just the way he says it. I almost fell out of my chair the first time I heard it.

And I want a Tshirt that says "You no gnashtooth, You DIE Now"

I love that one too!

Whenever I go into that secrion of W/W I always have a reply saved...

"No... I no Gnashtooth; YOU Die now!" :D

[haunter]

Overhead from a kobold in a place with water:

"Baweep" "Granu" "Weepni" "Nibau"

I'll have to go check his exact quotes later.
The Universal Greeting (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzE2BoNW6bc)!


Yep got to be this one. Just the way he says it. I almost fell out of my chair the first time I heard it.

And I want a Tshirt that says "You no gnashtooth, You DIE Now"

I want a t-shirt that says "Kobolds never forget! Kobolds always hate you!"

[twoton]

all time fav has to be wiz king.

"welcome traveler, you will learn to call this place home, as I have."

[Denethen_Longstaff]

"I know you are running for your life..."

[GlassCannon]

"The Flooded Tunnel"

Thanks to Damoraslann(Mabar) for making this an all-time classic.

Note: He also made the Chamber of Raiyum a lot more fun to run. His lackadaisical humor regarding the DM voice was lauded as the highest form of art and praise, as we fought skeletons that ripped our characters to shreds(before the Toughness buff). Addendum: Module 3.

Others: I'll find out when I get there, and when I am there I'll be too busy to remember, so I will forget as soon as I remember. Thus, a vicious cycle.


(Combat): The Count hit you for 19 points of Counting Damage. Ah hah hah hah!
(DMText): The Count laughing causes Thunder and Lightning in the background.
(Combat): Spell Critical! Your Searing Light has greater effect!
(Combat): You hit The Count for 446 points of Light damage.
(Combat): You killed The Count.
(Combat): The Count hit you for 20 points of Counting Damage. Ah hah hah hah!
(Combat): The Count hit you with Vorpal.
(Combat) You were killed by The Count.
(DMText): The Count laughing causes Thunder and Lightning in the background.
(Error): You cannot do that because you are dead!
(DMText): Elmo awaits you with sinister eyes and a fur coat of the brightest crimson. His teeth glitter in the moonlight, flecks of blood glimmering in the fading starlight filtering through the stained glass window. He is hungry for more, and you will do nicely.

[Talon_Moonshadow]

One of my favorites is not really because it's funny...but what my daughter did when hearing it for the unteenth time.

In the old Sewer rescue, which I had redone over and over again with new chars.

DM says, "You hear a woman's plaintive cry for help!"

And my daughter from across the room hollars "Help!"
I loved it! and keep trying to get her to do it again, but she's too shy to repeat it.

[Manling]

One of my favs-goes something like this "your trip will be traumatic-trust in the shroud"

And then moments later-"What is this? I should be on shavarath!"



Leadbelly

[binnsr]

VoN3 after the waterfalls..

"(Say): Drow Scorpion Wizard says, ''Get up you stupid trolls! We have company...'"

[GeneralDiomedes]

"Pure eeevil"

- Gary Gygax at the conclusion of Valak's Masoleum

[GlassCannon]

cry for help, hands down. Absolute favorites.

Every time I am in there, we all make fun of the very obviously male attempt at a female voice. Great fun!

[eldorniliel]

(DMText): Submerged beneath the lake surrounding Meridia, this hidden entrance is a convenient, if wet, backdoor into the Crimson Foot Hive.

This entertains me but I think i'm the only one.
you're not the only one lol. This is a guild favorite :)

This is a guild favorite for us too, along with these:

I forget which quest exactly, but I think it's out in the orchard, maybe GOP?
"you are close...come to me"

and in madstone, the giants:
"almost there....just a little longer...."

[Vaarsuvius]

(DMText): Submerged beneath the lake surrounding Meridia, this hidden entrance is a convenient, if wet, backdoor:eek: into the Crimson Foot Hive.

This entertains me but I think i'm the only one.

I cant help but repeat this every time I run this quest LOL:D

[Garth_of_Sarlona]

(Say): Jeets Shimis says, ''Ha, I still got plenty of stamina! I can go all night long!''

Garth

[RangerMaya]

The dying words of the hobgoblin I killed in Cabal: "Argh! Good blow!"

Heh.

[BSharp]

I have a few favorites...


Magic is a curious thing; full of hope and promise one minute, then everything goes pear-shaped.
You were killed by something.
Prelate Vendisto perishes, blood and bile and vile oaths spilling from his lips.
You wish all these bones were a little cleaner. The air reeks of rotting meat.
Ahead of you the central spire reaches for the sky. The power it exudes is nearly intoxicating.
What goes up...


I couldn't find it exactly... but when you've been vorpal'd... The vorpal blade went snicker-snack.

I also love the whole cry for help and get a laugh every time I'm in there... perhaps we need some clever DM text when a rogue fails a trap!?

[Garth_of_Sarlona]

/rolls a necro check

(Dice) You roll a 20: Critical Success!

I found another one last night - never seen it before, I think maybe it only appears if you re-enter Monastery perhaps?

(DMText): You will need to have expert timing and act fast as lightning to defeat Sannyasi

Love it!

Garth