The Tiefling and the Gnome

[SniptheShadow]

I've mostly read opinions online where people don't like 4th edition D&D that much.

I personally don't know anything about it; I haven't studied any of the new stuff at all.

But this little clip made me laugh.

I thought this was a good place to share it with others even if 4th edition rules mostly get the thumbs down vote from the masses.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UqFPujRZWo

Snip

[geoffhanna]

Wouldn't it be nice if DDO had tieflings? Or gnomes? Or half-orcs, or ...

<sigh>

Crosses fingers and repeats "someday", "someday"

[Aeneas]

Anyone else show up expecting an Aesop fable? Or even maybe just a fractured fairy tale?

[Thrudh]

Anyone else show up expecting an Aesop fable? Or even maybe just a fractured fairy tale?

Thanks to this post jogging my childhood memory, I just spent $50 on Bullwinkle and Rocky, Seasons 1-3...

:)

[Aesop]

Anyone else show up expecting an Aesop fable? Or even maybe just a fractured fairy tale?

Once upon a time there was a mighty Tiefling Rogue named Raschel Profiling. She had it all; cunning skill, deadly combat grace, a treasure horde that rivaled the mightiest of dragon lords. Yet for all that she was alone. You see a great rogue knows better than to trust anyone, and love cannot flourish without trust. So her lonliness took hold and she secluded herself in her castle.

Now I don't know if you realise this but dragons are a jealous race, and they will not be outdone by a mere mortal. So when the mightiest dragon lord discovered that this lowly tiefling rogue had acquired more wealth than he, the fires of his rage caused the mountain over the Gnome Homeland to erupt destroying many of the villages and towns.

A powerful Gnome Bard/Sublime Cord specializing in Illusions named Mun Chkin was sought out by the king of the Gnomish lands. The king begged Mun Chkin to find the dragon lord and appease him so that he would not destroy any more of their fair land. Mun Chkin being a level adventurer agreed and set out to find the mighty dragon lord.

After several long hours of gaming the mighty Mun Chkin came upon the lair of the much over used plot devise... I mean the mighty dragon lord. Through the cunning negotiating skills, diplomacy and lucky die rolls Mun Chkin came to a deal with the dragon. If Mun Chkin could acquire enough of Raschel Profiling's treasure horde so that it no longer exceeded the mighty dragon lords then the dragon would cool the mountains... or at least stop stoking the fires.

Several random encounters, a mountain dew break and a bio break later Mun Chkin stood at the door to Raschel Profiling's castle. The door would only open for Raschel though so Mun Chkin decided to create an illusion of her approaching the door. Unfortuanately the door was guarded by 2 magical eyes that could see through illusions so the door would not open. Being a specialist in illusions that kind of **** always ****ed Mun Chkin off so as a Sublime Cord he disintegrated one of the Magic Eyes. The other eye not wanting to be Dust in the Wind as the song Mun Chkin was singing goes opened the door.

Trap after trap, danger after danger Mun Chkin fought his way through the castle til finally he was met face to face with Raschel Profiling. Unfortunately fighting his way through the castle sapped most of his good spells. It was up to his shrewd negotiating skills yet again to convince this cold hearted ***** to help him and his people... not an easy task even with a full compliment of spells.

Through hours of pleading and negotiating nothing was accomplished til a smile spread across the face of Raschel. She said unto Mun Chkin that he may have a full half of her treasure, which was quite sufficient to the dragon's demand. However, in exchange Mun Chkin can never again leave the castle.

The very idea of never seeing his beloved homeland again brought a tear to his eye, but Mun Chkin agreed and so the fires that ignited the mountains over the Gnomish lands cooled and its citizens were safe.

Mun Chkin spent his days wandering the gardens of Raschel's castle and his nights alone. Eventually he and Raschel began talking to each other; swapping tales of their adventures and how they both really love Mountain Dew. You see Raschel had enough over Mun Chkin's head that she stopped worrying about if she could trust him or not and over time she came to care for the little dirtling. Eventually that caring became a little more. She noted how sad Mun Chkin was and asked him if he did not enjoy being here with her. Mun Chkin having grown quite fond of Raschel himself said that while there was no one else that he would rather spend his time with than her he still missed his homeland.

Raschel thought about this for a while and granted Mun Chkin permission to return home on the condition that he return one year from this date to see her again. Mun Chkin agreed and went home. He was greeted with a heroes welcome and named a national treasure. However, he found that he was not as happy here as he thought he should be, and at that moment he realised that he missed Raschel. He thanked everyone and left that same day to return to her and tell her how he felt.

When he arrived raschel was no where to be found. Finally he happened upon the garden where he and Raschel spent there evenings watching the sun set. There in the tree hanging by her neck was Raschel. The very sight nearly killed Mun Chkin and he screamed in vain as he tried to get her down from there. Finally when the know broke she fell to the ground dead. Mun Chkin cried for two days never moving not even to drink some water. Eventually he became so tired and dehydrated that he fell to the ground unconscious.

When he awoke a voice that he recognized as Raschel's was telling him that it will all be alright. He opened his eyes hoping against hope that she was alive and when he opened them he saw a beautiful gnomish girl holding him in her arms with a waterskin pressed to his lips. He asked who she was and the reply nearly knocked him out again. "It is I, your Raschel". "How can this be?" he asked. "Silly old gnome, don't you remember the story of how I escaped the King's militia. The rope I used for the noose is the same one that I had enchanted to cast Reincarnate when ever someone dies in its 'embrace'. They never realized that I had become a different race and just took it that I had died on the noose. Do you have a clever girlfriend or what?'

Together raschel and Mun Chkin returned to the Gnome lands and were married and lived happily ever after.

and the moral of the story is


Be it ever so humble there's no place like Gnome

or

When in Gnome do as the Gnomish do


Aesop

[Trillea]

<snip>

I love the story!

[Noctus]

@Aesop

Wuhuuuu! Great story!

[Aesop]

thanks guys :D


It was off the top of my head and I've been reading Order of the Stick a lot lately

[SniptheShadow]

I didn't expect a story.

Thanks Aesop!

That was great!


Snip

[Aesop]

I didn't expect a story.

Thanks Aesop!

That was great!


Snip

No problem.

I'm home sick from work so I have extra time on my hands


Aesop

[BitkaCK2]

Wouldn't it be nice if DDO had tieflings? Or gnomes? Or half-orcs, or ...

<sigh>

Crosses fingers and repeats "someday", "someday"

Muppet News Flash! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBvbzQfMNik).... this thread has been Necroed!

+1 for Aesop's Fable (http://forums.ddo.com/showpost.php?p=2171196&postcount=5)

ttfn,
bitkaCK2

http://chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/statler-and-waldorf-muppet-trolls1.gif