Got any funny named item ideas?

[SniptheShadow]

We all can get so serious about our game here sometimes, so I thought I'd post this -- plus I'm in a goofy mood today...

I have three:

1) The Last Word
+3 Great Maul of Flatulence
(Stinking Cloud 3 times per rest/ on a successful hit the sound effect of flatulence is heard)

2) Banana Boots
(the wearer is permanently greased/ bind on acquire)

3) Ring Their Bell
+4 Cast Iron Skillet
(On a successful hit the creature is stunned like in Stunning Blow/ on a critical hit Feebelmind is cast)

Any others?

[Kromize]

Sword of Reverse-Gravity
-On hit, have anti gravity cast on you(like stormreaver, so you fly up in the air), if there is no ceiling where you are, you just keep on going(this effect lasts for 5 seconds), and you fall down rapidly(FF does not apply).
(this would also mean monsters can take falling damage now...)

[branmakmuffin]

From another thread (my post):

Guido's Cement Boots of Swimming with the Fishes

Edit: perhaps that should be "Tony Soprano's."

[TehSilence]

1) Very Dull Dagger (-1 dagger resembling a letter opener which lets you read your mail 1/rest from wherever you are)

2) Horn of Free Long Distance and No Roaming (+1 light pick made out of an unknown beast horn that alternates sending the following texts to your command line with every successful hit: "/r Whammo!", "/r Zowie!", "/r Pow!")

3) Slugger of Louisville (+3 club that fires telekinesis on a successful critical, sending the mob flying backward if they miss their save)


-Silence

[Dracolich]

1.Mama's Equalizer
+1 Rollingpin of Weighted
+10% DC added to stunning attacks

2.Mama's Last Word
+2 Paralyzing Returning Shoe of Irate Outsider Bane
This returning shoe is shaped like a Clog that upon hitting a spouse about to go outside causes them to be temporarily dazed.


3.Wedding Band of Mind Blank
This plain gold ring adds +4 to the will saves Vs. Interrogation. This is a luck bonus and is subject to a counter roll by the spouses Intimidation skill. Having multiple of this ring do not stack as they tend to cause total unconciousness.

4. Trinket of Selective Hearing
This Trinket was crafted by the dwarves of the nagging hills clan. It is shaped like a face staring into the beyond as if in total oblivion as to its surroundings.

[Ringos]

Cloak of the Cunning Linguest

+13 Haggle
+13 Bluff
+13 Diplomacy


This cloak was worn by the clever merchant Korn Looselip. Korn was known for his gift of gab, capabilities in multiple tongues and his ability to use words to bend others to his way of thinking. The wearer of this item becomes silver-tongued and highly proficient in the oral arts.

[JTsays]

This thread is silly, I approve. :D

Cannoff's Whoop Axe

This named dwarven axe has a simultaneous multi-spell clickie.
Haste
Rage
GH

[Dracolich]

Cloak of the Cunning Linguest

+13 Haggle
+13 Bluff
+13 Diplomacy


This cloak was worn by the clever merchant Korn Looselip. Korn was known for his gift of gab, capabilities in multiple tongues and his ability to use words to bend others to his way of thinking. The wearer of this item becomes silver-tongued and highly proficient in the oral arts.

I think this item would be better "served" as a tounge stud :D

[Spookykid]

Dinner Plate
+5 Adamantine fullplate but when you put it on it teleports you to a dragon

Miracle Whip
+5 holy whip that casts resurection 1 time a day

[Aesop]

Viagra
helps keep your buffs up

Upon consuming this elixir all buffs currently on the consumer are doubled in duration from their current time.


Dwarven Axe
Use of this consumable instantly casts a limited target mass charm person with no saving throw or spell resistance check on all dwarven women in the area of effect. The downside is that you are attractive to Dwarven Women

Elven Court Sword
+3 Greatsword
rr Elf DC 24
18-20x2
Finessable
Silver
Holy Burst

ok 1 serious one I guess

They Call Me the Streak
1 per rest activate this item to be immune to all affects for 30 sec, but are stripped bare of all items and may not re-equip them. You may not attack use clickies or effects but you can move. All creatures that see you are instantly forced to make a DC 24 Fortitude Save or go blind. Those that make the save must make a DC 32 Will save to not chase after you to the exclusion of all else trying to wrap a towel around you.

Ventilated Shorts

All creatures that you gain agro from must make a fortitude save DC 20 or be nauseated


Wrist Communicator of Summon Brock Sampson
Once per rest the holder summons Brock Sampson and he kicks the **** out of all the Mooks

[Verdant_Force]

3.Wedding Band of Mind Blank
This plain gold ring adds +4 to the will saves Vs. Interrogation. This is a luck bonus and is subject to a counter roll by the spouses Intimidation skill. Having multiple of this ring do not stack as they tend to cause total unconciousness.

HAHA this ones the best...made me laugh pretty loud at work lol

[MrWizard]

great club- causes -1 to charisma on hit, 1d6 charisma on crit.
name = Mr Wizard's Ugly Stick

FTW!

[MrWizard]

Joey bag of donuts reflective armor

this armor is imbued with thousands of small mirrors inset in the metal. Whenever a light ro force spell hits it the damage is reflected by at least half.

IT also gives you a slightly new york accent and a +25 haggle.

[branmakmuffin]

Dinner Plate
+5 Adamantine fullplate but when you put it on it teleports you to a dragon
This gets my vote for funniest one so far.

[shadow543256]

Dinner Plate
+5 Adamantine fullplate but when you put it on it teleports you to a dragon



uhh il nevre wear full plates again just incase u changed mines to that but still funny and probably the funniest so far