I personally hate kobolds

[hennebux]

But they are good eating ! Please share with me any new and interesting ways you have of preparing them and serving them...I personally like the old tried and true method of strangling until they are semi incapacitated, followed by impaling on a sharp stick from hind quarters to nostrils. Then slowly turning them on a spit over an open fire, when the eyeballs pop out they're done...Alas "variety is the spice of life" and I yearn for more creative ways. Feel free to pass along any "family recipes" you may have...

[Ghoste]

Being warforged I dont quite "consume" in the way you fleshlings do. It's more of a metaphoric process. When I'm really in the mood though to play with my "food", I begin by turning them to stone. Very frustrating and frightening for them, and it keeps them immobilized long enough for me to do my thing. So I get the whole group immobilized, then I proceed to do the following to the whole group of them: blindness, poison over and over until one of their stats is at 0, and fear. Then I set a summoned creature loose on those blind, helpless and terrified little things.

[Arlith]

I used to hate kobolds. But now, since the merge, I see them in a whole new light. Why I was running WW the other day with a group and half way through I just swapped sides. Yep, started running with the Kobolds. It was a lot of fun being on the team that didn't screw up. And really, once you get past the smell, they arent that bad! And the bestamest part??? None of them had voice chat! YARK! YARK!!

[Drak]

Well not quite like the meanest server thread, but I feel the hate. It feels like home. :D

[Pyromaniac]

Personally I like to sear them with a wall of flame to lock in the flavor to start. Then smoke them so they are well preserved, and after a few quests in the bottom of my pack they are nice and tender after being mashed by all my gear I carry around.

Then age them for 21 days in the bank (or only 3 days on the Auction House), and they're ready!

[Drak]

Pickled in a vat of dirty kobold, I hear that it accentuates the flavor

[Scarsgaard]

MMMMM good...

First you grab a good 6 pack o'beer. Drink 5... the last one you add several holes to the top.... ram the thing up the kobolds kiester:D ... throw on the barbie and let the juices simmer giving yer kobold a nice moist texture sauted in the joys of beer flavouring....

...mmmm good

[Lizzybrat]

*blinks*

Thread sounds almost like roleplaying to me...

*cackles and runs off*

[Arlith]

*blinks*

Thread sounds almost like roleplaying to me...

*cackles and runs off*

As stated in other threads around:

It's only roleplaying if your pretending.

[Scarsgaard]

As stated in other threads around:

It's only roleplaying if your pretending.

lol...

BTW folkes... the beer can trick makes a wicked roast chicken or turkey.... add some fresh Sage and yummity yummy goes my tummy

[PaintHorseCowboy]

As stated in other threads around:

It's only roleplaying if your pretending.

If you're going to quote me, at least give me credit for the quote like Scars did.


Kobalds have a particularly gamey flavor that I find distasteful. I'd much rather eat fresh raccoon or squirrel road-kill stew. However, if forced due to circumstance to consume a meal of kobald, I find that allowing the 2-handed fighter in the party to bludgeon it to death sufficiently tenderizes the meal and makes it immensely more palatable.

Follow this by skinning (save skin for later) and preparing nice mixture of either an italian salad dressing or teriyaki (the vinegar gets rid of the gamey flavor), douse liberally in garlic (also helps stave off those pesky vampires who really have a tendancy to suck) and let the whole mixture soak (a bag of holding works nicely for this) for 6-8 hours.

After the marinade has has sufficient time to infuse the carcass, remove from bag of holding, wrap in it's own skin and bake using a hot rock oven fired with a dakota fire pit. An alternate method of doing this pan frying. Borrow your fighter's tower shield, and lay it flat. Add the kobald, stand back, and let the mage Fireball it until the outer layer is crispy black. Remove from oven/shield, remove outer wrappings, and enjoy.

[Arlith]

If you're going to quote me, at least give me credit for the quote like Scars did.

But I wasn't quoting. I was stealing! Way different context.

[Clay]

I used to hate kobolds. But now, since the merge, I see them in a whole new light. Why I was running WW the other day with a group and half way through I just swapped sides. Yep, started running with the Kobolds. It was a lot of fun being on the team that didn't screw up. And really, once you get past the smell, they arent that bad! And the bestamest part??? None of them had voice chat! YARK! YARK!!

lmao! that must have been some ww run!

[gorloch]

I used to hate kobolds. But now, since the merge, I see them in a whole new light. Why I was running WW the other day with a group and half way through I just swapped sides. Yep, started running with the Kobolds. It was a lot of fun being on the team that didn't screw up. And really, once you get past the smell, they arent that bad! And the bestamest part??? None of them had voice chat! YARK! YARK!!

I see you have been in some of those fun pugs as well. :D

PIXA

[5footStep]

Stuffed Roast Kobold

Serves 10
4½ hours 3 hours prep
1 Kobold
1 Cup of Salt

Kobold Stuffing

1 large onion chopped fine 1 tablespoon fat
Kobold liver (optional) 1 cup breadcrumbs
chopped red peppers 1 dash Bloodpudding 1
hard-boiled egg, chopped fine

salt to taste





(Roast Kobold).
The Kobold is a very fat animal with a peculiarly flavored meat.
It is dressed much as one would dress a suckling pig, removing the entrails,and if desired, the head and tail.
After it is dressed, wash thoroughly inside and out with hot water.
Cover with cold water to which has been added 1 cup of salt.
Allow to stand overnight; in morning,drain off the salted water and rince well with clear boiling.
Stuff kobold with kobold stuffing; sew opening or fasten with skewers.
Place in roaster, add 2 tablespoons water and roast in moderate oven (350-f.) until tender and richly browned, about one and one half hours.
Baste every 15 minutes with drippings.
Remove skewers or stitches,and place on heated platter.
Skim fat from gravy remaining in pan.
---(Kobold Stuffing)-Brown onion in fat.
Add finely chopped Kobold liver and cook until liver is tender.
Add crumbs,a little red pepper, fernian hot sauce,egg,salt and water to moisten.mmmmm its a good thing

[Music_Man]

As stated in other threads around:

It's only roleplaying if your pretending.


Which since Kobolds are fictious fantasy creatures, anyone joining in a conversation about how they personally enjoy to eat & cook them would be pretending in multiple senses. (such as pretending kobolds are real, pretending they actually eat kobolds, ect..)

& Since you've made this statement as if you're not pretending it is quite obvious you get alot more into your role than most folk do... which I think qualifies you as not just a hardcore rp'er but a bizarro-extremo rp'er.


;)

[Ziggy]

Which since Kobolds are fictious fantasy creatures, anyone joining in a conversation about how they personally enjoy to eat & cook them would be pretending in multiple senses. (such as pretending kobolds are real, pretending they actually eat kobolds, ect..)

& Since you've made this statement as if you're not pretending it is quite obvious you get alot more into your role than most folk do... which I think qualifies you as not just a hardcore rp'er but a bizarro-extremo rp'er.


;)
what you never seen a (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.oklahomafood.coop/shop/members/getimage.php%3Fimage_id%3D934&imgrefurl=http://www.oklahomafood.coop/shop/producers/renri.php&h=222&w=126&sz=43&hl=en&start=17&um=1&tbnid=LtQl3dm8pFJ15M:&tbnh=107&tbnw=61&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dkobold%2Bsandwich%26svnum%3D10%26um%3 D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN)


Liatris Kobold, shorter than Floristan
Order number of plants. Wonderful hummingbird and buttfly magnet for gardents. This plant just draws them in. Wonderful wands of bright pink purple blooms, these plants have broken dormancy
12" tall

:D

[PaintHorseCowboy]

Which since Kobolds are fictious fantasy creatures, anyone joining in a conversation about how they personally enjoy to eat & cook them would be pretending in multiple senses. (such as pretending kobolds are real, pretending they actually eat kobolds, ect..)

& Since you've made this statement as if you're not pretending it is quite obvious you get alot more into your role than most folk do... which I think qualifies you as not just a hardcore rp'er but a bizarro-extremo rp'er.


;)

See what happens when you steal quotes Arlith?

Some non-Xorian who was not privy to the original hate thread, takes it totally out of context and tries to apply it to a completely different situation, which no matter how much you prod and poke it, you cannot make it apply to.

And oh, by the way, the recipe is real (except for the fireballing on the tower shield), the creature is fictitious. Maybe next week, I'll share my recipe for "Possum on a Half Shell" otherwise known in Oklahoma as 'dilla.

.....Waiting for all the townies ask that question I know you wanna ask.....What's a 'dilla?" So go ahead and ask it so I can have a good laugh. You probably think milk comes from A. A carton, or B. A store. And all the bunny huggers forgot that the steak you just enjoyed started out as a "oh mommy, look at the cute baby cow!" in my back 40. What, did you think those neat little cellophane and butcher paper wrapped packages were picked fresh daily off the delusion tree?

**** Sapiens didn't get to the top of the food chain to be a danged vegetarian. [Edit: Oh Good God. The ******** swear filter wiped out the Genus because it's set rediculously too tight.]

[Jundak]

And oh, by the way, the recipe is real (except for the fireballing on the tower shield), the creature is fictitious. Maybe next week, I'll share my recipe for "Possum on a Half Shell" otherwise known in Oklahoma as 'dilla.

'dilla = armadillo, if I'm not mistaken...seen folks eat them, but never had one myself. What do they taste like? And don't tell me "chicken" or "they taste like 'dilla, ya moron!". :p

I'm serious...gonna be heading to Oklahoma in a couple weeks to paint my Great-Grandmother's house, and I might give it a try. God knows I've eaten worse in the military overseas...and liked it.


**** Sapiens didn't get to the top of the food chain to be a danged vegetarian. [Edit: Oh Good God. The ******** swear filter wiped out the Genus because it's set rediculously too tight.]

ROFL! Saw that...Get any infraction points on this one? :D

[Akerue]

It's not how you prepare the Kobold. It is the wood you cook them over. I prefer splintered warforged myself. It takes away the burnt hair taste.

[Xalted_Vol]

Take ten medium to large kobold fingers fry in very hot oil till golden brown. Take fingers and wrap in cloth or napkin dip in hot souce then put the fingers on a hot grill till grill marks are scorched on warning fingers will be hot. Funny side note we were cooking up Kobold fingers and got a cool ring of under water action the butcher had missed :):eek:

[Tryp]

My favorite is Kobold Stroganoff:

1 Kobold, chopped in to bite sized pieces (I like to take them and run them down the spinny blade hallway in VON5, so much easier and faster than chopping by hand)
1 Can Cream of Mushroom Soup
1 Bag Egg Noodles
1 Tub Sour Cream

Scorching ray the kobold a few times to your desired taste (bloody or burnt, you decide), boil the egg noodles over an extended Wall of Fire, should be done when the wall dissipates, but just to make sure, take a noodle (careful, they're hot!) and throw it at the wall. If it sticks, they're done. Combine everything, season to taste, stir, enjoy.

[Uamhas]

It's not how you prepare the Kobold. It is the wood you cook them over. I prefer splintered warforged myself. It takes away the burnt hair taste.

*swoons*
Splintered warforged..
*makes retching noises*
That's just wrong...
*rolls up a newspaper just for you*

[Ghoste]

It's not how you prepare the Kobold. It is the wood you cook them over. I prefer splintered warforged myself. It takes away the burnt hair taste.
But how do you deal with all the moisture in the root like wooden fibres that make up a large portion of...HEYWAIT A MINUTE!!! DEATH TO ALL FLESHLINGS!!!!

[cdbd3rd]

Kobold Gumbo:

1 ladle of vegetable oil
1 mug of flour
1 large chopped up onion
1 mug chopped celery
6 cloves chopped garlic
1 mug of chopped green pepper
1 mug of squished 'maters
1 mug of not-so-squished 'maters
2 mugs sliced up okra (another one those city folk won't unnerstand);)
2 medium kobolds, diced up (if using tender kobold pups, use 3)
1/2 bucket of water
salt, pepper, & cayene to taste
1 dribble of sugar
sprinklin' of weed stuff like parsley, bay leaf, etc

Rue the flour, then add the white and green plant fibers.
Cook a lil while, then add the 'mater stuff.
Add water from the bucket a little at a time, cooking the gumbo slowly over a small fire. After a bout an hour, toss in the seasonin's and give it about another half hour or so.

[cdbd3rd]

...also

Kobold Jerky
Take strips of fileted kobold and slice about 1/4" thick and soak in liquid smoke, soy sauce, garlic salt -- all amounts to your taste for about 1/2 hr. Hang strips over a wood rack by a good smoky hickory fire, sprinkling with black pepper. Dry kobold strips for about 2 1/2 hours or until meat looks dry and red. When meat cools it will get very dark and chewy. Good to take hunting and looting.

;)

[Ghoste]

Would laugh my pants of to see kk post a recipe here.

[hennebux]

ROFLMMFAO Ziggy when looking at your link and scrolling down I saw "church babies" in a bag!!! Do you know if they accept bulk orders ? Cause I'll eat them all week and twice on sunday!!

[Vinos]

Kobald Burritos

First you have to kill the Kobald. Fire, Elec, and acid is out(burns the meat) Cold also won't work(freezes it) You could PK it or hack it with a sword but the problem is when they see thier death coming they get an adrenaline rush(fight or flight) which causes the gamey flavor. Best thing is to FoD it from around the corner. Then you thinly slice the meat and boil it in a mixture of beer and liquid smoke. Then you steam your tortillas(kobald skin ones are espically nice) and add in your choice of cheese, beans, etc...